Shredding Gibbons to Ribbons.

I will say what “bought and paid for” mainstream media sports writers can’t, won’t, or are afraid to.

I am in a bad mood which probably means my anger is misplaced . . . or is it? Canada’s favorite sports team is supposed to cheer us up and give us hope, especially when our “little people” lives get the better of us. The Toronto Blow Jays are not helping us forget how messed up the world is; if anything, they are making things worse by being the poster children of corporate greed and stupidity.

Play ball!

The only reason an armchair baseball owner like myself could find to renew Gibbons contract is because he plays ball with management. Owners, who don’t give a rat’s ass about winning, prefer a yes man who will do what he is told while taking the heat for their roster and lineup meddling. Of course he is well paid for his role as a fall guy, making about a million bucks per season, but this is low when compared to real managers working with teams who intend to win, or even other Toronto sports teams for that matter. His position is akin to you being asked: Would you get in the ring with Tyson for a million dollars? Most of us would say HELL YEAH, because the average Canadian only makes $27,600.00 and most of us would risk brain damage for a million bucks.

Speaking of brain damage . . .

What the frack is up with the over-utilization of Estrada? He has never been reliable, and has an E.R.A. of .798 against Boston which all but guaranteed he would frack up a win for Stroman. Has Gibbons been directed to lose games? Any high school baseball coach could make a better choice of relievers. This is not the first time we have seen ludicrous decisions in the lineup. Anyone remember Darwin Barney? The guy who couldn’t catch or throw a ball to save his life last year, and who ALL TOO OFTEN was playing while several better choices sat on the bench like a smoking hot Goins to name one. Was Barney secretly a family member of Gibbons or someone in the Jays upper management, or have the major league owners decided that Toronto will not be winning anytime soon? True baseball fans—the ones who attend games for more than beer and a party—are questioning whether the fix is in.

Whose side are they on?

Any player who begins to shine immediately goes on the trade list.

  • Goins was traded.
  • Pearce was traded.
  • Happ was traded.

This is not about building a winning team; it is about horse trading for big money. I get why Gibbons is said to drink, seems not to care about what is happening on the field, and is slow to change pitchers. I would probably rather be counting sesame seeds and cashing cheques too if I worked for that organization. The Jays owners should go back to buying and selling studs in horse racing where they belong, instead of crushing the hopes and dreams of baseball fans across Canada.

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E. A. Barker

About the Author: E. A. Barker is an under-achieving, occasionally brilliant, man-child now in mid-life who can get into High IQ sperm-banks the world over. He is a keen observational analyst, satirist, humorist, and researcher. He lacks doctorates in psychiatry, psychology, psychotherapy, medicine, genetics, theology, political science, sociology and physics and is completely okay with this; yet he is willing to challenge these experts to wake up and do better. E. A. believes he is an average guy in mid-life who has led a mostly average life. His readers may not agree with his assessment. The single biggest difference between him and most other people is his relentless pursuit of knowledge. Throughout his life he never stopped asking the simplest question: Why? E. A. thinks of himself as a collector of ideas and a purveyor of dot connections. He attempts to present his findings in an entertaining fashion in an effort to encourage people to read—especially men who are reading far too little these days. E. A. Barker is an advocate of education for its ability to affect societal reform and actively promotes the idea that a global conscience is possible.

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