Radical Christian Extremists Are Active in My Neighborhood—A Christmas Story.

I just witnessed an act of Christian terrorism on my street.

While many of us were erecting ladders to put up Christmas lights, others had even more politically incorrect intentions.

A woman with her three girls from a few doors down, just skulked passed my house carrying a large standup carboard cutout of Jesus which they covertly placed in front of another neighbor’s house, a few doors up the street from where I live. I am guessing this mom is an artist, and the girls all participated in this craft project. I do not know either of these neighbors, but I grinned as the perpetrators ran by in a full retreat. A short while later, the terrorist leader mom walked by again to take a picture of their evil-doings; presumably to be used in a propaganda victory speech which would undoubtedly be posted on their radical facebook page tagging the victims. As she returned from her photo recon bomb damage assessment mission, she commented to me, rather matter of factly, “He hates religion.”, to which I replied, “Oh my.”, still wearing my amused grin but laughing hysterically on the inside as this woman had no idea who she was talking to. To me, this Sunday was quickly becoming more entertaining than any of the ones spent in the hundreds of Houses of Worship I have visited in my travels. It would not take long before a woman, who I presume is the wife of the aforementioned “He”, would walk by looking a little embarrassed as she carryied the big Jesus back to the terrorist’s encampment. I suspect this was just a good-natured prank among neighbors as big Jesus was leaned carefully against a tree in the yard of the terrorist’s command and control bunker, and no hostile words were uttered or shots fired as she departed.

This is how battles of religious ideologies should be waged.

We must now look at the victim of this atrocity who was targeted by these extremists because “He” believes differently. “He”, who apparently “hates religion”, could be an atheist, and if this is the case, we should be respectful of his choice of belief system. But what if “He” is not an atheist? What if “He” is like me? What if “He” has come to despise most religions as I have, because they have corrupted the messages of God and their various prophets in order to amass wealth and power—often promoting division, hate, the subjugation of women, and even violence. Am I next? How long before I can expect big Jesus in my garden? I  think it’s time to pick a religion just to be on the safe side.

So. let’s see what comes up when I google: What religion should I follow? Oh look, Belief-O-Match; they should be able to tell me. After taking their quiz, they decided I am a Seventh-day Adventist? I don’t know this one. Let’s find out what they are all about.


Oh, I don’t think so.

Not even close. So much for Belief-O-Magic.

Back to the drawing board. I will eliminate all religions with significant wealth that don’t spend most of it to feed starving children. Let’s see what google has to say.


Well that really shortens the list of possibilities.

Let’s try googling the most charitable religions. It is interesting that this search netted little of substance; just a few articles about do-gooders, putting Muslims, Agnostics, and Buddhists well in the lead. You would think that some of the other major religions would step up and single-handedly save a famished nation just for the bragging rights, but none do or have.

Although I could probably squeeze my beliefs into the Agnostic box, as a historian, I feel as though I should be able to find something—and I did—but unfortunately it is in decline with just 190,000 followers left. Maybe it is not about the popularity.

Zoroastrianism worships a single deity: Ahura, The Lord Creator, and The Supremely Wise. This religion predates most all of the best known prophets with its roots going back to 2000 BCE. (I like that.) It has no major theological divisions. (I like that.) In Zoroastrianism, the purpose in life is to: “Be among those who renew the world; to make the world progress towards perfection”. (I like that.)

Its basic maxims include:

  • “Humata, Hukhta, Huvarshta,” which means: Good Thoughts, Good Words, Good Deeds. (I like it.)
  • “There is only one path and that is the path of Truth.” (I like it.)
  • “Do the right thing because it is the right thing to do, and then all beneficial rewards will come to you also.” (I like it.)

I am now a religious man, safe from big Jesus.

I am a Zoroastrianist . . . I think.

I have much reading to do, and perhaps I should check my terminologies while I am at it, before telling everyone. Once I have confirmed that Zoroastrianist is actually a word, I’m going to go tell the neighbor up the street—maybe “He” is one too, and just doesn’t know it yet.



This is it for a while.

To everyone, regardless of your philosophies, faiths, beliefs, and indoctrinations, I hope you all enjoy a safe and happy Holiday Season.

Humata, Hukhta, Huvarshta.

I like it.



Your Beliefs Create Your Reality: Part 2


Do you ever stop to ponder:

  • why human beings have never put a stop to waging war with one another even after 5000 years?
  • why criminals have always existed?
  • why sexism and racism never go away?

Generation after generation continue to fail to resolve these most basic human issues.

What a parent believes is passed along to their child.

Before a lynch mob of pissed off parental units forms, I will give you an out. You do the best you can with what your society and your influences gave you. Your parents, your role models, and your teachers only prepared you to work within the confines of your society. None of them ever suggested you could do or be more than you are, because they themselves were a product of the same dangerous idea which has kept human growth in check for +/- 166 generations. The idea that change is not worth the effort because it will not last is a primary component of the defeatist mentality which the vast majority of humans share.

This might be by design.

Parents create a Mini Me—a little person who ends up possessing all the same attitudes, behavioral patterns, fears, anxieties, hopes, and dreams as the people who raised them. A parent who believes changing the world is impossible, creates a child who will not make an effort in that direction. A parent who never took the road less traveled will not endorse that road for their child, and unless the child has a rebellious streak in them, the child will not explore beyond what they have been CONDITIONED to be curious about. A parent with an incomplete education will not fully understand the value of a well rounded education so they will not teach their child the value of learning to learn. A religiously indoctrinated parent will allow their children to be indoctrinated to teach them morality, but this just teaches the child to put all hope for mankind in the hands of some deity rather than striving to make a difference in the world themselves.

We endlessly condition children to be just as their fathers and past generations always have been. They follow our example.

Conspiracy theorists will tell you it is all a part of a plan created by the elites to give the average human just enough to keep us from participating in their overthrow. If they were smart enough to continually execute this plan for so many generations, they would also be smart enough to know that the house of cards they have built is about to collapse within the next two generations.

  • Criminals beget criminals.
  • Drug users beget drug users.
  • Welfare families beget welfare families.
  • Laborers beget laborers.
  • Warriors beget warriors.
  • Public servants beget public servants.
  • Academics beget academics.
  • Soulless CEO’s beget soulless CEO’s.

If you as a parent can remain open to ideas other than those you were CONDITIONED to BELIEVE, you have a chance to break the cycle. Show your child only the best parts of you and they will become more than you.

It could be said that by changing your BELIEFS you can change your child’s REALITY.

The Holiday Vibe

I knew I would be spending Christmas time away from family and friends this year but I was very determined to FEEL festive. I started playing Christmas music and posting nothing but holiday related things on Facebook. I rejected thoughts of posting about serious topics in favor of spreading some laughter and joy.

IT WORKED! I got the Christmas spirit or the holiday bug, whichever you prefer, and I did not have to buy or receive gifts in the traditional sense to achieve this state of hope, wellbeing, and willingness to smile at strangers.

I awoke this morning thinking about all the children who would be excited about Santa’s visit and how they would either wake their parents or creep quietly to the tree to see what was under it. I forced myself to dwell on the POSITIVE.

For those readers who do not know me, I am more aware than most about the plight of humans around the globe–especially children. I know there are many who did not have this experience this morning, but for today at least, I will not dwell on this as I do during the other fifty or so weeks of the year.

This is not an act of selfishness, but one of self-preservation. Your spirit, soul or chakra, whichever you prefer, can become tired and you need to take some time occasionally to recharge it. Some do this through religious practices while others explore their spiritual side through the development of a personal philosophy of life–whatever works. The key is to acknowledge that you have this part of you, and to listen carefully to it in this world full of craziness which is designed to test this part of you.

Early this morning, I went outside for some fresh air just as a woman was passing by walking her dog on the sidewalk out front . She looked at me and said, “Merry Christmas.” I smiled and returned those same words back to her. Both our days will be better because of this moment. This is the KEY which we need all people everywhere to get back in touch with.

RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS CAN CHANGE THE WORLD but you have to be aware of them when they are happening, and acknowledge each and every one of them.

This chance meeting created a moment of clarity within me which I will share with everyone here.

This “Christian” holiday which has its roots in Pagan rituals, need not be yet another reason for division, because the FEELING of joy to the world and goodwill toward all humans is a global, if not universal constant. The FEELING transcends the labels we mere humans use in our feeble attempts to quantify, understand, and compartmentalize everything in and outside of this world. The FEELING of Christmas will fade only when we let the evildoers of the world engage us and affect us. This does not mean you can live inside a bubble of obliviousness and remain happy in there–quite the opposite in fact–you must go out into the real world to influence it with the VIBE you project.

The evildoers on the planet are a dedicated group who work really hard to spread NEGATIVITY in the form of lies, hate, deceit and propaganda to illicit a response that will give rise to fear. Only our worry and fears can lead us into violent conflicts–something they know all to well.

In 2017, those of us around the world who want peace, freedom, and security for all people, need to start anew to beat them at their own game. Smiling and wishing people well, no matter what the circumstance or how difficult it is, will undo them because of their lust for attention. Self-important egotists are shattered when they discover they no longer have an audience. Let’s turn off their media. Let’s disengage from their debates which are just another form of conflict which only serves them. Their use of these tools has conditioned us to believe we live in a state of perpetual conflict which is simply not true unless we allow it.

FEELING, carrying, and spreading peace and joy is a CHOICE which does not have to be reserved just for the holiday season, and it is the most powerful weapon ever created to wage a war against war.

To all who wish for Peace on Earth, just show goodwill toward men.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year; Saint Nicholas Day; Fiesta of Our Lady of Guadalupe; St. Lucia Day; Hanukkah; Three Kings Day/Epiphany; Boxing Day; Kwanzaa; Omisoka; Yule; Saturnalia–whichever you prefer–we are not so different.

I know I had previously posted that I probably would not be writing again until the New Year but let’s just say the spirit moved me.

My book:

Ms. Creant: The Wrong Doers!

Life With Women: The Long-Awaited Instruction Manual

This book was created for everyone, from young adults to seniors. It was written from a male’s point of view, speaking to men who are endlessly struggling to understand the opposite sex. For women, this is a fascinating journey inside the male psyche. The book gives a young reader a glimpse of the future, with a recommended timeline for key life events. Mature readers, who have already experienced much of what is discussed in the book, should come away with a new-found understanding, and perhaps even closure. Ms. Creant is a controversial, entertaining, yet informative look at everything that influences human behaviour including: relationships, life, health, biology, philosophy, sociology, theology, politics, genetics—even physics. E. A. Barker shares twenty-four “inappropriate” stories of life with women. The author based these stories of women behaving badly on his real life experiences, spanning four decades of his search for an ideal partner. The lessons taken away from the book will serve to help readers make better choices, become more aware, grow, and change—at any stage of life.


978-1-77302-134-8 (8×10 Large Print Hardcover)

978-1-77302-132-4 (8×10 Large Print Paperback)

978-1-77302-133-1 (eBook)

Amazon US ➜ http://tinyurl.com/hpdbjtp
Amazon CA ➜ http://tinyurl.com/jxa7zab
Amazon AU ➜ http://tinyurl.com/zhufwl6
Amazon UK ➜ http://tinyurl.com/jnrp9dn
Smashwords ➜ http://tinyurl.com/grxg5sv
B&N ➜ http://tinyurl.com/j9murlr
Kobo ➜ http://tinyurl.com/je2ytyp
itunes ➜ http://tinyurl.com/h47zplv
Indigo ➜ http://tinyurl.com/jye4q5m




A Holiday Message. . .

Times are tough.

There is a great deal of uncertainty at the very least, if not fear or outright paranoia in our world at the moment.

Please try to reign in these thoughts–especially over the holidays.

If you are able to read this on-line, it most likely means you can afford devices and services which connect you to this on-line world. This also implies that your immediate security needs of shelter, food, and clothing have also been met. Be grateful for what you have as there are a great many others who are not as fortunate and who will not be able to read this.

The holidays are a time for giving–our way of expressing love, caring and thanks to people we know.


Even strangers tend to treat us a little better at this time of year. They might smile as they hold a door for us when we have both of our hands full of shopping bags. Our preoccupation with finishing the damnable shopping, so that we can jump back into the hustle and bustle of the season, might make us overlook this tiny kind gesture. Seize the moment to look them in the eye and say thank you and wish them a happy holiday. It might be the only present they receive this year.

The holiday season puts increased demands on our time because of all the commitments we make to family and friends. This causes us to be stressed and possibly irritable. We need to remember that we are fortunate to have those friends and family members with us, as many others may not.

Some people will not be able to travel to see their friends and family this year. They may feel very alone. They can change that by volunteering their time to a cause they believe in. Many worthwhile causes do not close during the holidays and spending time with the other volunteers will almost certainly turn into new friendships.

We pick up the holiday spirit by being compassionate. Give some canned goods to the food bank, give some blankets to a shelter or contribute to your local toy drive. The smallest things make a difference in this world. We often forget this. We do not have to solve global warming to improve the planet; the kid who receives your toy this year might be destined to do that–if they are not emotionally scarred by Santa missing their home. This is how we are all connected.

Goodness spreads like a virus through all walks of life, across all religions, and it does not see the color of someones skin or their gender. By spreading that which we know to be good, we spread hope. The hope we create can alter the path of another.

This almost certainly will be my last blog post for a while.

I wish to extend my gratitude to all of you who follow me on social media. To you, and everyone you care about, I wish you a safe and happy holiday season.

E. A.


Ms. Creant: The Wrong Doers!

Life With Women: The Long-Awaited Instruction Manual

This book was created for everyone, from young adults to seniors. It was written from a male’s point of view, speaking to men who are endlessly struggling to understand the opposite sex. For women, this is a fascinating journey inside the male psyche. The book gives a young reader a glimpse of the future, with a recommended timeline for key life events. Mature readers, who have already experienced much of what is discussed in the book, should come away with a new-found understanding, and perhaps even closure. Ms. Creant is a controversial, entertaining, yet informative look at everything that influences human behaviour including: relationships, life, health, biology, philosophy, sociology, theology, politics, genetics—even physics. E. A. Barker shares twenty-four “inappropriate” stories of life with women. The author based these stories of women behaving badly on his real life experiences, spanning four decades of his search for an ideal partner. The lessons taken away from the book will serve to help readers make better choices, become more aware, grow, and change—at any stage of life.


978-1-77302-134-8 (8×10 Large Print Hardcover)

978-1-77302-132-4 (8×10 Large Print Paperback)

978-1-77302-133-1 (eBook)

Amazon US ➜ http://tinyurl.com/hpdbjtp
Amazon CA ➜ http://tinyurl.com/jxa7zab
Amazon AU ➜ http://tinyurl.com/zhufwl6
Amazon UK ➜ http://tinyurl.com/jnrp9dn
Smashwords ➜ http://tinyurl.com/grxg5sv
B&N ➜ http://tinyurl.com/j9murlr
Kobo ➜ http://tinyurl.com/je2ytyp
itunes ➜ http://tinyurl.com/h47zplv
Indigo ➜ http://tinyurl.com/jye4q5m




Blog 18: November 11th. Remembrance Day In Canada.

On the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month in 1918, World War I ended.

Ever since, each November 11th at eleven o’clock Canadians honor those that fell in that war as well as ALL who have served since.

This blog contains elements from Blog 6.1: The FEAR Lessons but has been SPUN to be more respectful and appropriate for this day.

On this day, all Canadians but especially the youth of Canada need to understand that their privileged lives that are so full of opportunities are a direct result of the sacrifices of those that came before them. Young people, in their late teens and twenties were, and are, being wounded or killed in the defense of our way of life.

Those of you that grew up in large cities may not fully appreciate the hardships faced by your fellow Canadians that live and work in more difficult conditions in rural Canada. It is out of these small towns, from coast to coast, where most of our servicemen and women have traditionally come from. Small town life creates soldiers that are physically tough but it also instills them with compassion and a willingness to help their neighbor.

Today our Canadian Armed Forces are loaded with young people that are committed to preserving our way of life whatever the cost and they have a proud heritage.

We Canadians have the respect of much of the world as peace makers and peace keepers but there is another side to us that needs to be understood and remembered by people who are not Canadian and those whose educational system did not tell them about us.

Just a few summers ago, I made a new American friend who was working in Canada as an executive for a large aerospace company. After several drinks one night sitting at a fire lakeside, he stated how lucky we were to have our way of life but proceeded to suggest that we should not involve ourselves in global matters that would be better handled by the United States on our behalf. It was then that I began to understand how misunderstood we Canadians have become even by our closest neighbor. I suggested that until he became better acquainted with our history that he should not continue this line of conversation. I POLITELY let him know that he was about to cross a line that should not be crossed.

It has become apparent that we must define a Canadian for all to see because many do not REMEMBER or know our history.

The world has trouble with this.

Our politicians have trouble with this.

New Canadians have trouble with this.

Our media has trouble with this.

We are a small country in terms of population. We are hugely OUTNUMBERED ten-fold by our neighboring countries like the U.S.A. and Russia. A country that does not understand a Canadian may think that we are just pawns in the Soviet / U.S. chess match.

They would be grossly mistaken.

We have the respect of both of these Peoples and we are neighborly to both but we back down from neither. In fact, the Russian people and Canadians share a similar knowledge of hardship and resolve because of our similar geography and that is what created our common thread. Regardless of the global political climate, it was Canadian wheat farmers helping out Russian wheat farmers in times of need that cemented a long-standing relationship. Helping a neighbor in need is how farmers continue to succeed in Canada. It is this character trait of Canadian farmers that best exemplifies the Canadian people. I hope this will never disappear in the modern world where corporate greed is spreading like a cancer.

To a Canadian, global politics is just not that important to us. We have more important things to attend to like working hard to feed our families. We have a simple global outlook: if you do not bother us; WE WILL NOT BOTHER YOU.

We are not isolationists, we invite everyone to come and stay; if they can handle it.

As part of the British Commonwealth, we adopted a bit of their “stiff upper lip” mentality coupled with a RESOLVE that stems from our fierce living and working conditions.

We can relate well with the Northern European countries, because they again have tougher living conditions.

You see, we do not have a sun-belt. We do not have a California, Florida, Arizona or South of France but we like going to places like those for a break.

It is tough where we live and it makes us tough: mentally, physically and emotionally.

We should never dominate any sport because of our limited funding and small population BUT WE DO.

This comes from our resolute nature once we set our mind on an objective.

It should also be noted that we have a national pride that is best seen through our national pastime: hockey. It is a tough game for tough people. Our style of hockey is being watered down to accommodate growing interest in the game outside of Canada but we are always a team NEVER TO BE UNDERESTIMATED.

This Canadian national pride and stubborn resolve stems from HARDSHIP.

We are survivors.

We have a rich heritage of succeeding where others fear to tread.

In World War One where my grandfather participated in trench warfare, 100,000 French soldiers were killed or wounded at Vimy Ridge. The Canadians were brought in after training specifically for the task of taking this important German-held position. The Canadian soldiers showed such incredible RESOLVE and feats of bravery in accomplishing their mission that the French government gave that little piece of France to Canada forever.

It seems that these soldiers kept on ADVANCING when their officers were killed and perhaps most bizarrely of all; when they ran out of bullets. Yes, there are TRUE STORIES of Canadian soldiers charging machine-gun positions with bayonets.

There is another WW1 story that you should know of: Flanders and the town of Passchendaele. Imagine walking on a rain soaked muddy narrow dock with only one board every 16 inches carrying a 24 kilogram (or 53 pound) anchor while machine-gun bullets flew over your head and artillery shells fell all around in the rain with your clothes soaked with mud. If you slipped off that little dock you would probably drown- not in water… but mud; and your pals were ORDERED not to help you. That was the reality of Allied soldiers that were there.

Over 300,000 British, Australian and New Zealand casualties were recorded before the Canadians Corps would be called in. After 14 days of continuous battle, Canadians did what some thought was impossible and paved the way for the allies to make a run into Belgium.

Try to picture one million water-filled muddy shell holes in a one square mile area. Only the surface of the moon comes to my mind, but this was even more concentrated.

15,654 Canadian casualties were the cost of this victory. 1000 are still there in Flanders fields. A relatively small number when compared to the British losses but a lot for a country with a small population that was just under eight million at the time.

Other lesser known places that you should  be aware of are: Gravenstafel Ridge- 6064 casualties, Amiens- 9,074 casualties and Canal Du Nord and Cambrai- 13,672 casualties.

These were all success stories; Canadian victories; with a cost that Canadians were willing to pay for FREEDOM.

619,000 young men enlisted in the Canadian Expeditionary Force in WW1.

233,000 were casualties; or almost 37%.

Almost 10% died in service to this country IN THE NAME OF FREEDOM.

No town or village across the entire country was unaffected by the losses.

My Grandmother told me of my Grandfather’s return from the war. It was anything but the romantic reunion that film-makers like to portray. She was surprised to find him sitting outside one day, as she had not received any notification as to when to expect him. He had not even knocked. It seems that he was upset and embarrassed by having lice in his uniform and did not want her to see him like that. He did not want to go in the house like that. She undressed and bathed him outside giving him clean clothes to put on and then he burnt his uniform in the yard.

Just 25 years later, the world would be at it again.

Within a month of Britain’s declaration of war with Germany in WW2, the Canadian Army would grow from 5,000 to 70,000 people- not men. We have a proud tradition of Servicewomen in this country that goes back more than 100 years.

Both of my parents served in World War II: my mother in the Royal Canadian Air Force and my father in the Canadian Army Corps. My mom outranked my dad and never let him forget it.

In World War II, we Canadians again were the ones who did “the impossible”. A mountain top fortress named Assoro in Italy had to be taken in order for allied troops to advance. Canadian soldiers climbed a 900 meter (or nearly 3000 foot) mountain to take this mountain top that would allow Canadians to have a high-ground position that would lead to a German retreat from the area.

My father landed on Juno Beach. It was one of the most heavily defended beaches of the five allied landing sites in the invasion of Normandy. “STIFF RESISTANCE” as it was termed, was overcome and the Canadians were THE ONLY UNIT of the five, to achieve their Normandy landing objectives. But bad weather left those Canadian soldiers advancing inland without tanks against the German’s 21rst Panzer Division. Our Canadian soldiers ADVANCED anyhow.

Allied commanders would recognize the value of the Canadian Army and would employ them as “SHOCK-TROOPS” in tough places throughout the war.

At Breskens Pocket, Canadians would again fight in mud as their fathers had… AND WIN. In order to take the port of Antwerp, Canadians launched a frontal assault across the heavily defended Leopold Canal.

The last World War would end, but unfortunately smaller conflicts would continue to take the lives of Canadian soldiers.

A short time later in Korea, a Brigade of Canadians and Australians fought a delaying action with desperate defensive battles in a place called Kap Yong while surrounded by an entire Division of the Chinese army trying to take the city of Seoul. They stalled the advance and won a U.S. Presidential Unit Citation; rarely given to non-U.S. forces.

Tremendous acts of bravery and sacrifice continue to this day.

So what was the point of this little foray into Canadian history?

Remembrance Day is about history.

George Santayana is credited with the following quote: “Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it.”

To some in Canada and many in the world, we Canadians are misunderstood. We are thought to be no different from our much larger allies.

Unfortunately in this modern technological era, the most visible people on television all too often appear weak, scared and even stupid and we Canadians are wrongly thought to be like them.

People not familiar with Canada and its citizens need to realize that the portrait of a Canadian painted by modern-day politicians and the media IS NOT who we are as a people.

The people of France and Holland in particular, remember us fondly. They appreciate their freedom and our sacrifice. They continue to REMEMBER. They continue to learn history.

Yes we Canadians are tolerant. We tolerate weak politicians and misinformed media because we are too busy dealing with the hardships of our land to sort them out.

Yes, we Canadians are polite.

Yes, we Canadians are friendly.

Yes, we Canadians help those in need.

Yes, we Canadians would rather keep the peace than allow a war because we know the cost of a war IS NOT PAID IN DOLLARS AND CENTS.

Yes, we Canadians try to avoid a fight for as long as we can.

However, we Canadians do not run from a fight.

We Canadians are very good at fighting.

We Canadians do not scare easily.

We Canadians do not concern ourselves with PARANOID THREAT LEVELS or WATCH LISTS.

If you force Canadians into a conflict, you should know that we have a long history of accomplishing the impossible and advancing where others could not.

While a Canadian will be the last person to start a conflict… we are best known for FINISHING THEM.

This is a Canadian!

So on our Remembrance Day each November 11th, we Canadians pause to thank those military people, both past and present that served our country and made us a proud people.

E. A. Barker

Blog 15.3: Taboo Subjects:

Politics, Sex and Religion!

An age of enlightenment will have to include these talking points.

Part 3: Religion.

I have written more than my share on the topic of RELIGION.

It is not a favorite subject of mine.

It is discussed in my book as a component of good health that I would prefer to label: A PERSONAL BELIEF SYSTEM.

In Blog 6.2: The Fear Lessons, I expressed my displeasure with the moronic stupidity of American main-stream media and particularly, their complete and total lack of research resulting in a misrepresentation of Muslim beliefs.

I am not a Muslim- just a thorough researcher.

In Blog 6.3: The Fear Lessons. I connect the dots between FEAR MONGERING and RELIGIONS.

In Blog 8: A study in positivity. I make reference to souls and Christmas.

In Blog 10.1: I am salmon. Hear me gurgle? I quoted The Serenity Prayer- some of my favorite words of wisdom of all time. This blog delves into many religious concepts like destiny, Karma and reincarnation.

In Blog 10.2: I am salmon. Hear me gurgle? I make mention of the Dalai Lama- a person that I have tremendous respect for.

In Blog 12: “We are gonna need a bigger boat”. I again reference Karma.

In Blog 14: What really went down in The Garden of Eden? I give my comedic take on pre-history but felt the need to preface it- so as not to offend.

Now, this brings us to the final part of Blog 15.

If memory serves, I went to an Anglican church as a child. I was not happy about it. As a family we would get dressed up each Sunday and WALK to church in the hot sun having to wear a suit. My dress-shirt was usually soaked in sweat by the time we got there. I do not know if this was a religious thing or some weird Barker family thing but I concluded that this was dumb.

I liked old Reverend Harding but would rather be out playing with my friends that did not have to go to church. We had a meeting in his office where I challenged the factuality of the stories that I was being taught but the best that he could come back with was: “Sometimes we have to take things on faith.”

It was not a good enough response then and it is not a good enough response NOW!

Approximately 50% of my writing contains reference to religion. At first glance, the statistical numbers would seem to indicate that I am more SPIRITUAL than I let on.

I write about religion because I am concerned by how it is used to MANIPULATE POPULATIONS around the globe both in backward nations and scariest of all- in the most advanced nations of the world.

Escapism is a human trait it seems.

Alcohol abuse, drug use, sex and religion are all things that MAKE US FEEL BETTER FOR A WHILE- helping us to forget our troubles so that the world does not get the better of us. After a short break from REALITY, most humans can muster the strength to continue to STRIVE for something in a very tough world.

If you FEAR death, it is natural that you would want to SEEK ANSWERS to this great UNKNOWN.

  • All religions claim to have the answers but you must take a leap of FAITH.
  • Most require MONEY to prove that you are truly FAITHFUL.

If you BELIEVE you have an IMMORTAL SOUL that will one day reside in paradise, then the FEAR of dying weighs a little less heavily on your mind and you are COMFORTED.

  • Most religions claim that ONLY THEIR BELIEVERS will be allowed into paradise.
  • These religions will only help their fellow man IF THEY ARE OF THE SAME FAITH.

If you BELIEVE your deeds here on Earth will be JUDGED prior to being allowed entrance into paradise; you may try harder to avoid misdeeds and be a GOOD PERSON.

  • Being a GOOD PERSON has been spun by some religions to include MURDER and SUICIDE.

If you NEED FORGIVENESS, you can be ABSOLVED of your wickedness once a week so that you can live with your CONSCIENCE.

  • FOR A FEE you may go out into the world and screw over your fellow man for another six days- GUILT FREE!

If you NEED UNDERSTANDING, it is SOOTHING to BELIEVE that something greater than mankind is making bad stuff happen for a reason.

  • Humans crave RATIONALITY, LOGIC, ORDER and CONTROL, so when the irrational, illogical and chaotic events happen that are beyond our control we need CLOSURE.

I have researched many various religions and ALL have some GOOD MESSAGES for mankind.

I have leaned on MY PERSONAL BELIEF SYSTEM when life has become overwhelming and MY BELIEFS have allowed me to CONTINUE TO STRIVE.

I, like everyone else, do not have ANY ANSWERS to the big questions nor does ANY HUMAN.

Anyone that claims to, is full of shit!

WHAT I DO KNOW is that THE MAKER never intended for us to:

  • Use FEAR of HIM, HER or IT to MANIPULATE people.
  • Use FEAR of HIM, HER or IT to make a PROFIT.
  • Have a CHOSEN group of people that are somehow better that the rest.
  • Help only people of SIMILAR FAITHS.
  • KILL in HIS, HER OR ITS’ name.
  • PAY MONEY for absolution.

My book:

Ms. Creant: The Wrong Doers!

Life with Women: the long awaited instruction manual.

Talks of relationships, health, life, biology, philosophy, sociology, theology, genetics- even physics as well as HOW MANKIND IS ALMOST READY FOR A NEW AGE OF ENLIGHTENMENT IF WE CAN SURVIVE LONG ENOUGH TO SEE IT.

This was no fun again.

I hope that I am done with politics and religion.

Sex on the other hand, I will continue to write about as long as I live.

Have a great week and talk openly about whatever suits you at dinner parties.

E. A.

Blog 13: “We are gonna need a bigger boat”.

Fishing tips from a good fisherman that does not like fishing.

A thirty something friend really wanted to go fishing. As an Irish immigrant who lived most of his life as a musician out on the prairies of Canada, this is a new thing for him and he enjoys the short breaks he gets from his hectic life. He is a new father and business owner that is often overwhelmed; and of course, is short on sleep.

I on the other hand, wear the “Been there done that.” shirt- having started fishing at around eight years of age with my Dad. I remember even earlier, my sister and I using willow branches with fishing line tied to the ends that led to a cork bobbers that held the hook and worm about two feet below the surface. We would fish from an old gas barge and catch Perch, Rock Bass and Sunfish any time of day.

I was learning to fish even before we got our first boat- a little 12 foot tri-hull with a 9.9 horsepower outboard that would eventually become my first freedom machine. It rode on top of the car to and from our summer holiday camping destinations.

From age ten, I would learn my boat piloting skills with my father sitting up front, on a lake in the Trent Severn waterway. There, cabin cruisers would create some massive waves that our little boat would have to climb on one side only to surf down the other. I was fearless but Dad was visibly nervous at times. The boat was stable enough to allow you to stand up in it when the lake was not that rough. It was anything but tippy. Its light-weight construction meant that the hull flexed at your feet when you were heading out on a choppy day.

We fished often, sometimes with all four of us crammed into that little boat. Dad liked trolling so he could see changing scenery as the day went by. Mom and I liked still fishing or drift fishing as we always caught more fish that way.

The fish finder had not been invented yet. We checked the depth of the water we were fishing in by attaching a big home-made weight to our line and then dropping it over the side while watching how much line came off of the spool of the early “trolling” reel as the weight travelled to the bottom. When your line went slack you were on bottom.

Pickerel now called Walleye, liked weeds so we dropped our baits down into loose weeds close to the bottom or just above heavy weeds to get them. We found fish by looking for the mouth of a stream or river and weed beds near shore where humans had not yet developed. Bass were easy to find near Bulrushes, fallen trees and under docks.

The fishing line was quite thick and anything but invisible. I do not remember ever breaking a line and I had caught some three to four foot long fish weighing as much as twenty pounds on a few occasions. One Muskie in particular pulled the boat, motor, gas tank, anchor and me about a half of a mile up a shoreline into the wind before he tired himself out enough for me to get him to the boat. That was when I found out that we were going to NEED A BIGGER NET. The total weight that he dragged would have been about three hundred pounds and the line did not break. When you got snagged on a submerged log you would have to cut the line if you could not pull the lure free.

We learned that using a steel leader when fishing for the large toothier varieties of fish like Muskie, Pike and Pickerel was better than watching them chew through your line usually just as you were trying to get them in the net. We learned that the best fishing was from dusk to dawn. We learned that the worst weather also meant the best fishing.

The rods were about five feet long and made of steel. They were a one piece design or in other words, they did not come apart in the middle as they do today. We could feel the fish nibbling at our worm, even with little Rock Bass, Sunfish and Perch. Those rods stayed in the family for about thirty years until rust got the better of them.

The little boat also stayed in the family for many years. Even when I owned much bigger and more comfortable power boats, I would take out my Speed Racer (mostly just to entertain my friends) bouncing across the lake with its twenty-three mile per hour blinding speed. I met many girls and found a bunch of all-night parties in that boat.

I fished very little by comparison as a young adult. About once a year, I would take out one of my power boats and anchor it in some quiet little bay and just recline on the plush upholstery in the sun- often reading and not caring what-so-ever if I got a nibble. It was more about the rest and relaxation or peace and quiet that the outing offered than it was about fishing.


By forty, I had parted with all of my boats- a story for another time. Suffice it to say that there is truth in the old saying: “The two happiest days in a man’s life are the day he gets his boat and the day he sells it.” Oddly, it was at this time that my then significant other told me that she loved to fish. Her excitement about catching even a little one became infectious mostly because I would have to get out of my lounger on the resort’s beach and go take it off the hook for her. It had me wanting to catch some again.

We would frequent fishing gear stores where she would buy the craziest lures for ridiculous money. Fifteen dollars for a lure that had a light in it IS JUST NUTS!

We got caught up in the Sunday morning fishing programs on television that would seem to indicate that you were not a fisherman unless you had a $50,000.00 bass boat, a half a dozen different rods with different reels and a tackle box that the size of a beer cooler that contained a virtual treasure trove of every type, size and colour of lure for every species of fish in any depth of water. Oh yes, we cannot forget the high-tech fish finder that shows pictures of sunken boats on the bottom.

During this foray into modern day fishing, I discovered that the more money you spent on gear, the less fish you caught.

Expensive rod designs claiming to be: THE ULTIMATE IN SENSITIVITY, FLEXIBILITY AND STRENGTH never quite measured up to the advertisement. I had a one-hundred dollar rod that broke at the handle with a five pound Large Mouth Bass on the line. Its replacement split at the two-piece joint with an eight pound Lake Trout on the line. The one after that kept damaging the line when casting; causing many lost fish, lost lures and a ridiculous number of line changes per season. I am convinced that it was DESIGNED THAT WAY just to increase sales from really stupid fishing fanatics like me. Its replacement was billed as “INDESTRUCTIBLE” yet only carried a one year warranty.

99% of the fancy lures and artificial baits DID NOT WORK nearly as well as a minnow or frog on a hook or a worm on a three hook worm harness.

The 1% that did work is a secret that I thought about taking to the grave in order not to bury a thriving industry.

But then it occurred to me that the sport fishing industry has sold me a pile of over-priced over-hyped crap for years and I OWE THEM NOTHING! Screw the lying marketing bastards of poorly made off-shore products. By publishing this, I hope to tear down their empire that is built on the exploitation of the desperate weak-minded fishing fanatics that are so addicted they will purchase every shiny new- brightly coloured thing that the manufacturer PAID TO HAVE ENDORSED by a guy who makes a living by fishing.

I will tell you that you only need three artificial lures or plugs and all are “split” or “jointed” Rapala models. For Bass you want a 3 inch floater with yellow on top and silver/white on the bottom. For trout you want a 2 inch deep diver with blue on top and silver/white on the bottom. Lastly for Pickerel and bigger game-fish you want the biggest shallow to medium diver they make (5 or 6 inch I think) that resembles a Perch. It is greenish with black stripes on top and has a silver/white bottom.

This brings us to the other day when I took my friend out to prove to him that there were indeed fish in this lake; if you know how to fish and contrary to what he has been told by a frequent guest at his cottage.

With new” INVISIBLE” 8 pound test on my old school “casting” reel mounted to the “INDESTRUCTIBLE” graphite rod and the tiniest tackle box money can buy; I headed off to meet this enthusiast who by the way, has severe fish allergies.

The wind was gusting to 40 miles per hour creating 3 foot waves with white caps so we had a bite to eat and made a couple of old-school worm harnesses hoping the wind would settle down. It did not.

As we were loading up his boat he asked if we should bring a net and I replied “No we are just going after Bass.”

His boat might not survive conditions such as these. It is an old twelve foot aluminum fishing boat powered by an eight horsepower engine that is prone to stalling. This boat is also as tippy as any canoe so we donned life jackets. I piloted the craft to the nearest good fishing spot that only meant about five minutes of pounding waves with spray from the bow hitting me in the face before we would get to calmer water.

Even in the sheltered bay, his little boat was being blown all over the place and from one shore to the other. I asked if he had an anchor and he said there was one back at the cottage. To get him started, I baited his worm harness for him so he could see how it was done. I set us up to drift fish and let the wind take us back through the choppy conditions almost to his dock. He found the anchor as I unknotted some rope and then we set out to pound the waves and my kidneys a second time.

Upon returning to the fishing spot, I anchored us so that the changing winds would let us fish both shores. We started getting little fish under six inches almost immediately. He snagged a tiny Perch while I had a succession of varieties including a Rock Bass and a Sun Fish before getting a Small Mouth Bass that might have been all of nine inches.

My “fishing compadre” had his worm picked clean by some others and then expected me to bait his hook once again. As he was not nine years of age, I explained that fishing etiquette dictates that you bait your own hook- momentarily forgetting his well known weak stomach. Upon losing his second worm, he would switch to artificial baits for the remainder of the day.

Next, I too would get a tiny Perch that had been picking my worms to bits for some time without my being able to hook him; despite many repeated attempts at setting the hook.

This is where the story gets interesting.

Instead of removing the little bastard, I said to my fishing partner “Watch this.” and casted the little worm stealer out into deeper water where I knew some big Large Mouth Bass had lived in the past. In only a couple of minutes something big ate him.

It may be illegal to use a Perch as a bait fish but he got on my hook all by himself. I did not put him there.

Karma is a bitch.

I set the hook a couple of times and could sense that it was a big fish but it was not peeling off line. Still thinking Bass, I thought it was just swimming toward the boat where the fight sometimes really begins. I did not want the fish to run too far in case it found the anchor rope to wrap my line around. I slowly kept winding him closer and then lifted my rod to get a glimpse of what I had on there.

Well, it did allow a glimpse. I saw a flash of orange from a fish with a large girth. I never really got a view of its length.

I was now thinking that I had a big Pickerel with NO NET, an inexperienced fishing partner that could not handle fish without wearing gloves and we were in a very tippy boat.

As my brain was just beginning to wrestle with the problem at hand, Karma took over once again.

The fish did a violent side-to-side head-shake like a Large Mouth Bass would but it never broke the surface. It did however break my “INDESTRUCTIBLE” rod and line about a foot from the tip.

A rod, possibly a near record Pickerel, the Perch and my custom worm harness were all gone in that instant.

Quietly sitting staring at my broken rod, I lit a smoke and wondered what I could have done differently? Instead of an answer to that question coming to mind, I remembered why I do not fish anymore:

Sitting in a crappy little boat sucks.

These days the fishing equipment is garbage.

Worms crap all over you.

You get bitten by mosquitoes.

You get sunburnt.

You get rained on.

There is NEVER A BIG ENOUGH NET when you need it. Additionally, when someone asks if they should bring a net, ALWAYS SAY YES!

The biggest fish ALWAYS GET AWAY!

The only fish you remember are THE ONES THAT GOT AWAY.

It is a sport for masochists.

My best fishing memories are of the times that I did not get a bite; just relaxing alone listening to the waves fighting a losing battle against the substantial hull of my cushy boat.

From now on when someone asks me to take them fishing, they better have a $50,000.00 Bass Boat with a canopy, 6 rods and a selection of nets or I will say:


My book:

Ms. Creant: The Wrong Doers!

Life with Women: the long awaited instruction manual.

Talks of relationships, health, life, biology, philosophy, sociology, theology, genetics- even physics as well as the need to BE PREPARED for what life throws at us.


Have a good week.

I am going spear fishing for that Pickerel.

I have a score to settle.

E. A.