Waiting is the Worst!

 

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They say “No news is good news.”

I disagree. Not knowing fosters anxiety even in a guy like me who is wildly over self-examined. You receive a cryptic message about an emergency situation telling you they will get in touch as soon as more information is available. You wait; all the while consciously trying not to think the worst, but as the hours pass you inevitably let your guard down allowing the darkest possible outcomes to play out in your mind.

Times like these test your beliefs. As my handful of readers already know, I am not religiously inclined, and I have attempted to shed almost all beliefs—viewing them as traps which serve no other purpose than to allow us to be manipulated, usually through fear. I no longer fear for myself, but I do fear for others; especially those close to me. After ten hours of checking my phone, I did something that helped to ease my mind which could be labelled in a number of different ways depending on the beliefs of the person applying the label. I looked at the sky and thought:

‘Please, let them be okay.’

Most would call this praying. A far smaller number would say I was putting positive energy into the universe to create a desired outcome. For me, it was merely a mental exercise to firstly accept a situation that was outside of my control, and secondly, a way to master my anxiety once again. I never say there is no God or gods. Instead, I leave room for the possibility. While I would like to think we live in a deterministic universe where we each have free will and where, if we channel our collective energies in a particular direction, we can control destiny or fate. Sadly, thus far at least, there is no absolute proof of this one either. What I find fascinating at times like this is I am willing to give them a go without any belief in them. My “Leave no rock unturned.” approach may be the reason. If it can’t hurt and could help then why not?

Studies into prayer and meditation show the human brain behaves very differently when we partake in these activities, indicating there is “something to them”. Maybe we level up our consciousness, or maybe we just reduce our brain activity to a level where we find clarity; where we can accept that some things are outside of our control, and where we can let go of our irrational fears. After all, it is fear that spawns our worries, and it is the quantity of those worries we created in our head which can lead us into full-blown anxiety.

Some would say my “prayer” was answered.

I will not and cannot allow this label to be applied to my story, for if I do, I would become narrow or closed-minded with a singular viewpoint, and I like to think I have outgrown being that guy.

Why choose black or white when there is so much gray area to be explored?

It took two more hours of waiting, but the news I finally received was not terrible. Did God intervene at my request? Not likely. Did I use my incredible mind powers to have the universe alter our reality? I seriously doubt it. So what did happen then?

Life happened.

Things are not in our control. They never have been throughout recorded history. Everything is temporary, including each of us. The control freaks who rise to power and prominence do so by having a narrow focus. It serves them for a while, but historically, it inevitably leads to their demise because a time ALWAYS comes when they need to consider possibilities outside of their doctrine. We see maniacal despots in the media each day who are single-mindedly hell-bent on creating division and hatred everywhere they can. They only have power over the closed-minded, and this is why they work so hard at recruiting or creating the like-minded.

Avoid choosing a side because neither side can see the other possibilities.

It’s been a rough year, so why should December be any different? However, today’s news was not as bad as some of the outcomes from my anxiety based mental conjuring. For this I am grateful. As we enter the holiday season, I hope you and yours are safe, healthy, and happy. If you fall into this lucky group, please take a moment to realize how lucky you are. Not everyone is as lucky as you. Life really is about luck, and the funny thing about luck is it can change in the blink of an eye.

P.S.

If you know someone who espouses the notion that we make our own luck, remind them that while hard work and focus can help them climb the ladder of success, only a healthy person can cling to the rungs.

Happy Holidays.

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To my lucky American follower(s).

Dinner conversation for know-it-all’s:

Contrary to popular belief, tryptophan induced turkey comas are not a result of turkey containing a greater quantity of the amino acid than other foods, but only our overindulgence at this time of year. You most likely do not go back for seconds when you eat other poultry, nor do smaller birds allow for days of leftovers in sandwiches and soups or stews.

Enjoy your holiday while I wait for Christmas dinner.

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World Food Day

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While I support all altruistic initiatives, I dislike the politicizing of subjects such as hunger. It is time we addressed the elephant in the room. The West is fat and drunk on immediate gratification.

The UN creates AWARENESS of the EFFECTS without ever talking about the true CAUSE . . . the hording of wealth.

The World Bank offers loans to organizations trying to feed people, but NOT WITHOUT INTEREST. This group could single-handedly solve hunger. They don’t.

The largest religions of the world sit on a pile of money that could immediately cure hunger. They don’t. They do however claim it is a top concern and tell their followers to give more.

Corporatized food stores do not fill the shelves of food banks. They expect their customers to do that AT RETAIL PRICES, and they use their INFLUENCE to keep farmers from donating directly.

So while the AWARENESS created each year since the 1940’s by the UN is a good thing, it also illustrates that 70+ years of TALK hasn’t solved anything. Individuals must do what we can. Organizations won’t.

Have a great Monday.

The only way to get over your fear of what is out there is to look at it, learn about it, and then do something about it.

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Check out my latest interview with Fiona Mcvie.

Thank you authorsinterviews, I enjoyed your questions.

E. A.

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Shredding Gibbons to Ribbons.

I will say what “bought and paid for” mainstream media sports writers can’t, won’t, or are afraid to.

I am in a bad mood which probably means my anger is misplaced . . . or is it? Canada’s favorite sports team is supposed to cheer us up and give us hope, especially when our “little people” lives get the better of us. The Toronto Blow Jays are not helping us forget how messed up the world is; if anything, they are making things worse by being the poster children of corporate greed and stupidity.

Play ball!

The only reason an armchair baseball owner like myself could find to renew Gibbons contract is because he plays ball with management. Owners, who don’t give a rat’s ass about winning, prefer a yes man who will do what he is told while taking the heat for their roster and lineup meddling. Of course he is well paid for his role as a fall guy, making about a million bucks per season, but this is low when compared to real managers working with teams who intend to win, or even other Toronto sports teams for that matter. His position is akin to you being asked: Would you get in the ring with Tyson for a million dollars? Most of us would say HELL YEAH, because the average Canadian only makes $27,600.00 and most of us would risk brain damage for a million bucks.

Speaking of brain damage . . .

What the frack is up with the over-utilization of Estrada? He has never been reliable, and has an E.R.A. of .798 against Boston which all but guaranteed he would frack up a win for Stroman. Has Gibbons been directed to lose games? Any high school baseball coach could make a better choice of relievers. This is not the first time we have seen ludicrous decisions in the lineup. Anyone remember Darwin Barney? The guy who couldn’t catch or throw a ball to save his life last year, and who ALL TOO OFTEN was playing while several better choices sat on the bench like a smoking hot Goins to name one. Was Barney secretly a family member of Gibbons or someone in the Jays upper management, or have the major league owners decided that Toronto will not be winning anytime soon? True baseball fans—the ones who attend games for more than beer and a party—are questioning whether the fix is in.

Whose side are they on?

Any player who begins to shine immediately goes on the trade list.

  • Goins was traded.
  • Pearce was traded.
  • Happ was traded.

This is not about building a winning team; it is about horse trading for big money. I get why Gibbons is said to drink, seems not to care about what is happening on the field, and is slow to change pitchers. I would probably rather be counting sesame seeds and cashing cheques too if I worked for that organization. The Jays owners should go back to buying and selling studs in horse racing where they belong, instead of crushing the hopes and dreams of baseball fans across Canada.