When “Experts” Tell Me I Must Blog Something.

I laugh and laugh.

‘Tis true, I care not what experts think—especially publishing and online marketing types—as most wrote a book or books solely for the purpose to sit on a perch and collect money from the rest of us without any guarantees whatsoever their methods will make your book a success.

Artists are makers surrounded by takers.

Don’t be a sucker.

If you are an author, in the name of all you consider holy, LEARN THIS BUSINESS before it rips you off.

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Bureaucrazy

The only business that has never seen a downturn is government.

Public servants my ass!

Government employees are a special kind of crazy—similar to academics—in that they are completely incapable of functioning in the real world.

You need only look at a ditch digging project where the white and blue hats outnumber the yellow hats—the only ones with tools—to see how far removed from reality they have become. Collectively, one blue hat, two white hats, and three yellow hats are costing the taxpayers about $350.00 per hour as they stand around talking while looking at the ditch.

two man holding white paper

Productivity and efficiency mean nothing to these people.

None are motivated to work hard or to get the job finished as fast and cost effectively as possible. Their jobs are secure for as long as they want them, and a significant pension awaits when they have had enough. In addition to their generous top-of-scale salaries, they and their families enjoy complete short and long-term disability insurance, medical, drug, and dental plans. . . all paid for by the taxpayers.

The blue and white hats decide to have lunch to discuss the hole in the ground further so they jump into three separate government vehicles which they pay nothing for, and they expense their two-hour $120.00 bistro “business lunch” back to the taxpayer. In a bizarre rationalization, they consider themselves to be taxpayers because they pay taxes, so they feel entitled to such expenses. To them, it is as though they are paying for their own lunch. With only an hour or so left in their workday, they all head home early to beat traffic.

Meanwhile in the real world. . .

Somewhere out there right now is a young guy with a family to support, driving a ten year-old pickup truck which he bought; paid to licence; pays insurance on; pays to maintain; pays to put fuel in, and who also bought the pick and shovels in the back with his own money.

yellow pick up truck on grey concrete road

He is digging a hole too.

He estimates one hard day of ditch-digging should get the job done. His hands will be blistered and his back will be sore come lunchtime when he gets to eat his brown-bagged mid-day meal, lovingly made by his wife from last night’s dinner leftovers. On completion, the customer, which he had to find by making calls and sending emails each night after work, will pay him $200.00 for a day’s work. He will set aside 30% for income tax; 11% for business taxes, and 20% to keep his business operating. He and his family will attempt to live and build a secure future on the remaining $78.00. He worries about how long he can keep up this pace. Last month’s dental bill for the kids wiped out their savings. Regular dental checkups for himself had to be shelved in favour of keeping up with his workers compensation insurance payments.

He has been called the backbone of America.

Sadly, this hypothetical taxpayer’s back only lasted into his forties. He called up the government-run workers compensation department for help when doctors said he could not return to his job. The bureaucracy seized the opportunity to kick him when he was down. To them, with every denial and penny-pinching move they were saving the government money while simultaneously justifying their own continued employment within the bureaucracy. They do not acknowledge who pays the government they work for. ‘Claimants are the enemy. We are not accountable to the taxpaying general public.’

These bureaucrats had the audacity to question HIS integrity.

They are oblivious to the hypocrisy which is all around them. They even went so far as to accuse him of being a scammer before finally sending $680.00 each month.

Pull your heads out of your asses America.

This level of inequity is not sustainable.

I’m Easy!

It’s true.

Thanks to the SEO work I do when publishing each blog, I will be forever searchable using tags like: easy author, easy writer, and a few others I haven’t thought of yet. When a female reader comes along, I cannot help but crush on them a little. If they are reading my book, I can feel my heart beating in my chest as they give me their impression of my work. Often, they update me as they read—a blow by blow if you will—every encouraging word softly stoking my psyche.

It’s not that I’m an egotist.

Praising a writer is like showing love to an abused animal; they quickly return that love any way they can, and it’s an honest loyal kind of love . . . until the leg humping begins.

As for the extra special ones who took the time to write a favourable review. . . well . . . they could have me with a snap of their fingers.

Why be a starving writer when you could be a starving naked artist.

I am so sick of computers and everywhere they take us.

Being a writer means being married to your computer. Things are made worse if you are a published author because you also have long term commitments to social media and publishing sites. My almost one-year-old Dell is an evil wife. She has melted down twice in the short time we have been together; a RED FLAG if ever there was one. So why continue to put up with the daily torment of weak WiFi, boggy performance due to updates and background processes, and the general stupidity of the online world when there is little or no money in it?

I can do other things.

The real question is: What other things can I do which don’t involve computers? I could reinvent myself once again as a post modernist painter. I might use my initials to create a new artist identity: Ethan Alfonso? It has an artsy ring to it. I could add a hook as well: All Alfonso’s are painted in the nude. Post modernist erotic portraits of lonely housewives and  divorcées, painted by a still pretty hot naked guy, should get me laid more than writers do. The fee for such commissioned portraits would certainly exceed what I make as a writer; perhaps several times over. For a tiny initial investment—far less than book publishing—I could whip off a bunch of samples to lean against the walls of my apartment for prospective clients to peruse; perhaps over wine, if they are hot. I could sell some works beach-side while working on my tan. Once summer ends here, I can move into a spacious van and travel to various beach communities down South, chasing the warmth of the sun, and making Canadian winters something I don’t do anymore.

What’s the worst that could happen?

It’s possible I might be killed by a jealous husband, but this has always been my preferred check-out plan anyway.

Sounds like a worthwhile endeavour to me.

Where is that art supply store?

I’d Google it, but this hunk of junk Dell—soon to be ex wife—sucks harder than the vacuum of space during a hull breach on the Enterprise.

Now twitter is doing it.

As if the mother Zucker wasn’t bad enough with obvious societal conditioning techniques built into his flakebook algorithm, now twitter is showing its hand. They too have had their user privacy issues, but twitter was always a place where you didn’t feel as controlled and manipulated. You could reach out to people the world over, and if you added them to a list, you could see everything they posted. If they were not English speaking, you could click the translate button to see what was on the minds of people in Europe, Asia, the Middle East. . . to gain a more honest global perspective than what we are offered in American media.

That ended today!

Twitter has been ramming the “New Twitter” down our throats for a while, but we had the option to revert to “Legacy Twitter” which many users did. It wasn’t an option today, and the Translate Tweet function was gone in addition to some other user niceties.

‘We can’t have American minds being contaminated by other countries.’

They are closing up the box with us in it.

This final straw will hasten my departure from anti-social media. They just keep taking away all that was good about these platforms and replacing them with more ads and user data collection. I don’t need to stick around to watch the death of social media, I’m just glad to see it go.

Antisocial Media: 10 Awesome Protocols Nobody Talks About

Rated R.

Warning: this content contains Reality. Reader discretion is advised.

Social media tips from an antisocial misanthrope?

You are definitely spending too much time online.

Tip 1: You must do what everyone does to be one of us. . .

one of us. . .

one of us. . .

These online “societies” have rules and will not welcome, nor do they tolerate, anyone lacking their level of sameness; yet nowhere are their expectations of your behaviour written down so you might quickly learn how best to conform. There is a reason for this.

Tip 2: They want you to fail.

They are eagerly awaiting their opportunity rant over your misstep whether you goof up publicly, among friends, in groups, or in private messages—for you have proved yourself an unfit miscreant who needs to be beaten back into submission, if not ostracized completely, in the hope shame will drive you back under the rock from whence you came.

Tip 3: Being “friended” on flakebook or “followed” on twatter should be considered an honour not to be taken lightly.

It means you can DM (Direct Message) an egotist anytime of night or day. WAIT! I’m just kidding. Back when PC’s were the tool of choice to hop on social media, this was okay, but now that smartphones dominate and control their owner’s every thought, they are rarely ever out of reach and almost never turned off, so the likelihood of waking someone up becomes very real. Besides, it’s way too early in the relationship to be talking privately. Take it slow; you’ll be able to show them your boobs or penis soon enough. You must build up to a DM by liking, sharing, and commenting on their posts for a period of not less than thirty days. Take it from me, this is how to get a narcissistic egotist turned on enough to get them naked.

Tip 4: Liking

There is a fine line between being a devoted follower and a stalker, and the line is different for everyone. I like to visit pages to see if people are really as uni-dimensional as social media algorithms make them appear—before I dump them. I am absolutely certain that on occasion, I have liked enough of their posts to be considered a creeper, but I don’t care. I’m a social media heretic. Don’t over-like or you may be cast out—leaving you no choice but to attempt to build an online relationship with people like me . . . and really, what are the chances you’ll make the cut?

Tip 5: Sharing

Twigger people want you to retweet their tweets so their thoughts might reach a wider audience. Conversely, fakebook people are often incensed when you “steal” their posts, which they found elsewhere on the internet all by themselves. Somehow, to them, searching for and saving a post grants them copyrighted proprietary ownership of a meme created by someone else. People have actually timidly asked me if it was okay to share posts I had already stolen from someone else on f-ckbook—so sweet, nice, and polite—I wonder if any of them survived this year’s slashing and burning of the deadwood?

Tip 6: Commenting

If you are following a hottie on social media, you will never get anywhere by telling them how gorgeous you think they are in their latest of a long string of half-naked selfies they just posted. The best you are likely to get for your effort is a liked comment. If you really want to have any chance of getting on their list of possible candidates for an online fling, you will have to follow them closely—a.k.a. stalk them—to find out where their passions truly lie.

Tip 7: Engagement:

In the olden days, engagement meant you had a fifty-fifty chance of getting some action. The same is true on social media. When you see them posting, it is a safe time to engage. Once you have stimulated your crush’s interest enough, by publicly commenting on their passion projects, or by feigning empathy and compassion when they are unhappy, they will begin to engage with you. This is public banter, flirting, or intellectual foreplay so it’s best to only be offering to stroke their ego at this point. Pretending to be truly fascinated by whatever you have been commenting back and forth about publicly, creates an opening to DM them with more private thoughts on the subject. Congratulations! You are alone with them. No, you can’t send nudes yet . . . unless they have confided the are lonely, drunk, and horny—even then, you should encourage them to go first. Most of the time, you will have to cultivate the relationship further before the sexting begins, but at least you can talk dirty a little. Remember, Mark Zuckerberg can watch the show, so you might want show some restraint.

Tip 8: Just the tip.

In this age of immediate gratification, there seems to be some added urgency placed on online sexual activity. It’s as though these participants are afraid their WiFi signal will be lost just as they are about to climax. Do they think they will never have another chance like this again, so they just get right down to business? Perhaps they are hiding in the washroom trying for a quickie behind the back of their significant other. Who really knows? You wouldn’t believe how many times I was flirting harmlessly—or so I thought—only to be gifted a spread eagle pussy pic with the classic two-finger labial parting stretch, when I was really just angling for a nipple pic. I’m not complaining, but a little bit of A to B to C makes it better. While I have only a dozen or so such experiences notched into my laptop, I feel it is safe to say: The younger the woman is, the quicker she will be whipping out the pussy. If I were to use a baseball analogy, they are getting a hit and running straight to third base.

Tip 9: Non-sexual DM’s?

I suppose a case can be made for such utilization of Messenger. I have some platonic online friends I chat with now and then, as well as a few business clients. The one thing I can tell everyone is: If you run a business of any kind, NO ONE wants to be pitched in Messenger. I’ve even been bitched at for sending people event invitations through Messenger. Apparently, the protocol is you must have chatted a little before any business can be discussed which goes back to what was said earlier about the cultivation of a relationship.

Tip 10: Wrapping it up.

There are a few redeeming aspects to online hookups:

  1. You don’t have to wrap it up. Apparently, computer viruses are not considered STD’s.
  2. You can have a wide variety of casual meaningless sexual encounters, but it’s best not to mention you do while it’s happening, if ever.
  3. For you cheaters out there, this is the safest, easiest, and most forgivable way of trying to satisfy the emptiness inside you.

As I inch ever closer to parting company with social media, with the exception of blogging, I try to find some highlights from the four plus years invested to take away with me. Aside from getting to know a handful of truly good people, only a couple of moments stand out. Years ago, I triggered a viral post with my comment which reached over 22,000 people. A short time later, I was one of a very few people Taylor Swift followed on twister. I thought it was kinda cool, and I used it to poke fun at, my then, semi-significant other who was, and likely still is, quite literally insane when jealous. Taylor, who I now laughingly refer to as “the bitch”, dumped me shortly after I tagged her in a tweet. She probably followed me by accident or expected me to behave like a guru with a PHD in psychology. I probably should have dick-pic’d her when I had the chance. The thought never occurred to me because enough famous female performers have already seen it—live, up close, and in a very personal way. Perhaps this is why I struggle to understand the males who engage in this behaviour and their reasoning behind perpetuating this phenomena.

Being “social” implies people are: approving, welcoming, approachable, jovial, and cordial.

I just do not see how this applies to social media sites.

 

Rated R: Sex, Academic Lies, and Video Tape

What is manly?

Is wrestling manly? I probably couldn’t wrestle my way out of a drunken all female Mazola party these days, but that may be more due to a lack of desire than capability. To avoid any more middle-aged sex related injuries, which are embarrassing to explain to your doctor, I now spend much more time wrestling with ideas and questions. They are much safer, even though Doc thoroughly enjoys hearing of my exploits . . . perhaps a little too much, now that I think about it.

Some of what goes on in my cerebrum is farcical while other thoughts are incredibly deep for a male—or so I’ve been told. To better illustrate how man-brains work, for our female readers, I will let you peer in to see what is rolling around in here in these next sentences. Could a female friend pin me in a bare knuckle match without the benefit of any lube to help me escape? Would I want to escape? Would I throw the match and submit? Does this make me submissive? Can a submissive man still be manly? If she won fair and square, without resorting to tickling, would she be considered manly? Would her conquest relegate all six-foot-three two hundred pounds of me to the effeminate loser list? Why are there winners and losers? Who thought that up? Who are the beneficiaries, and who or what suffers in a social construct such as this?

I tend to look at most things as systems.

Ecosystems show us how all things are connected and how there is intelligent design behind them which endlessly strive to maintain a healthy balance.

Each life form follows a program. We call this nature and natural.

I look at humans in much the same way, but we are different. We have the power of choice and yet we seem to endlessly choose poorly. Why is this? What if our program has been, and continues to be, tampered with? In my book I put forth the idea The Princess Program has been responsible for holding women back from reaching their full potential for generations.

I now see the Princess Program as more of a subroutine to a larger Patriarchy Program where, at some point in history, men discovered TAKING WAS EASIER THAN MAKING.

Thus began our long string of bloody conquests which continue to this day. Has patriarchy always been with us? If you were to rely purely on the mainstream Western history we are taught in school you might think so. “They” tell us about “recorded history” which currently sits at about 5500 years with a focus on empires rather than civilizations which shift from Egypt, to Greece, to Rome. “Coincidentally”, the first written records of religious practice date to almost the same time: circa 3500 BCE in Sumer, but no historian can say how long Mesopotamia had religion before that. Regardless, all significant religions would be male dominated from 3150 BCE forward. I call all of this “patriarchy approved history” because academia discredits, downplays, ignores, suppresses, and will not fund research into early civilizations which may have done things differently.

Publishing anything in academic circles about a more balanced, harmonious, democratic, and sustainable way of living is not encouraged.

You and your children probably never heard anything in history class about African matriarchies dating back to 8000 BCE, nor are future generations likely to. The countries that could have shown us a better way have been completely conquered or destabilized by Western “interests” . . . destroying their cultures and much of their histories in the process. Prior to my rewrite of this section, I had compiled a list of what could be construed as signs of matriarchy throughout history, but it occurred to me that:

FEMALE RULE DOES NOT A MATRIARCHY MAKE.

So I scrapped it. There was hierarchy, militarism, and taxation systems evident in each, and these are the signs of patriarchy. The patriarchy loves pharaonic Egypt where one man was worshipped as a god. This became the touchstone.

It is a construct.

Patriarchy gave us aggressive autocracy, a class system, and the near total subjugation of women. What happens when a patriarchal society can no longer expand its borders and wealth through conquest? It turns inward on itself to exploit its own citizens and lands.

The patriarchy can never have enough.

It over-taxes, it makes cuts to education, it cuts social programs, it gouges for medicines, it suppresses reliable news sources and replaces them with propagandists, and it buys politicians and lawmakers as tools of the trade.

I now see racism, patriotism, sexism, political divide, corruption, inequality, a military industrial complex, the entertainment industry, higher education, the Internet, security agencies, and the porn industry as being functionaries of an unnatural and long-standing Patriarchy Program.

Now back to our regularly scheduled program.

Question: When is a blow job no longer just a blowie?

Answer: When it is degrading the blower.

I have been studying human relationships for nearly as long as I’ve been alive. Lately this, ahem, purely intellectual pursuit has led me to study the world of porn. My indoctrination into the objectifying sexist world of the patriarchy began at age twelve when a friend across the street discovered a stash of his father’s old Playboy magazines hidden deep in a crawlspace.

Each of us who were invited to take a look, stuffed a few magazines down our pants which helped a short time later to cover our erections as we walked hurriedly passed our moms to our rooms for about one minute of auto-erotic fun before finding a safe hiding spot for our new loves. Yes, we developed and talked about our attachments to our paper fantasy women. I would talk about how my girl Brandi loved to swim naked, and my friend would say how his Cindy-Jo likes to roll around in the barn wearing only cut-off shorts and suspenders.

A couple of years later, our supplier’s dad upgraded to Penthouse which was showing vagina so most of the neighbourhood boys switched as well. By the time Larry Flint hit the scene with Hustler, I had a regular supply of real vagina life support systems, a.k.a girlfriends, so I left porn mostly behind. The previous sentence shows how my objectification indoctrination into the patriarchy had taken hold at an early age. My view at the time was girls were in possession of boobs and vaginae and I really liked and wanted these things. A pretty face ranked third on my list of wants, and there was no thought whatsoever given to their minds. On the odd occasion when I had an opportunity to peek into Hustler, I remember not fully comprehending why any guy would want to look at these “hard core” women who weren’t nearly as pretty as the girls in Playboy or Penthouse.

Who wants a skanky slut who’s seen more dick ends than weekends?

Things have changed, and not for the better, but fortunately so have I. Did you know 90% of boys and 60% of girls are exposed to Internet porn by age 18? Do you also realize the extent to which the hard core porn industry dominates Internet browsers? I am a fan of Fine Art Nude Photography, but it is next to impossible to find photographers like Radoslaw Pujan through Bing or Google image searches because of the SEO strategies employed by the porn industry.

It’s as though they want to put the ugliest most degrading imagery of women in front of every casual passerby, and tragically, this includes our youth.

This does however explain all the submissive cum-dumpsters worshipping at the alter of cock we see everywhere these days.

This is not sex forward feminism. This is an abomination of that idea.

Trend following behaviours are indicators of a pliable psyche which is susceptible to mental conditioning.

I believe this to be the ultimate goal of today’s patriarchs which is best illustrated by young people who claim their sexual explorations, tattoos, piercings, and silver coloured hair are signs of their individuality. If you didn’t do it first, you are just proudly telling the world how easily you are led, how desperate you are to fit in, and how oblivious you are to being manipulated. These are badges of conformity-not independence -an acknowledgement of your submission to The Patriarchy Program.

The patriarchy really knows what it’s doing.

Can you say the same?

We are all indoctrinated into this system before we are wise enough to question it. If you want to break your chains or ensure your children do not succumb to these many forms of psychological programming, just teach them to never stop asking the question three-year-olds love to ask:

Why?

A questioning mind is a gift which will lead them to awareness and conscience. People so equipped can navigate life making fewer poor decisions which ultimately frees them from the unhappiness plaguing most of humanity. These true individuals can beat back the patriarchs merely by not playing along, and they will be needed in greater numbers than ever before in the next two generations. We have reached the tipping point.

Any “us and them” divide which blinds people with hate and rage is another victory for the patriarchs in their covert war on humanity.

Don’t be a joiner.

Saying no is the true mark of individuality and freedom of thought.