Get caught up on my latest relationship misadventure over on my book’s site.

This week on my Ms. Creant blog, I show how our social media walls can reveal a great deal about what we are feeling.

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Top 10 things I learned in my years on facebook, or how many “friends” can I lose in one post?

FYI: There were 3001 when I posted this. LOL

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“Live and learn.”

Conservatively, I estimate I “invested” 1400 hours of my life into Facebook over the past four years which is 500 hours more than it took to produce my book. Let that sink in a moment. I have dwelled on this for some time now. It is because of this significant amount of time that I did not just delete my Facebook account when the final straw arrived. I was close though. For better or worse, there is a legacy we leave behind on Facebook for our “friends”, if not the general public. However, if you posted as I did in a willy-nilly devil-may-care sort of way, you will spend days trying to clean it all up in order to leave a “best of” collection of posts worth scrolling before saying your final farewell. Be prepared for Facebook to “limit” your profile and page(s), a.k.a. putting you in Facebook jail, when you attempt such radical changes.

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1) Some people are not who they claim to be.

I am not talking about authors writing under pen names - which is absolutely necessary to avoid harassment - I am talking about people with multiple online personas. Don’t make the mistake of PROJECTING your level of integrity or values, a.k.a. honesty, discretion, and honour onto people you meet. It will bite you every time.

You can protect yourself by using a free deep web search at: pipl.com.

If aliases appear, search each one. If you know multiple locations where they have lived, search each city by each alias. It could take a while to compile all the data, and you should prepare yourself as the results can be nothing less than staggering. Look for, and even search, relatives, known associates, and phone numbers to confirm the site has not made an error. There are pay sites starting from $2.00 that generate a full report including criminal activities. You might want to consider one of these if you are in deep with someone you met online. May your god be kind with what you find.

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2) Don’t be naïve.

If you look up naïve in the dictionary, I’m sure you will see my picture there. I viewed joining the author communities on social media as an opportunity to connect with bright, engaging, open-minded seekers of wisdom . . . kindred spirits who would share thoughts as pen pals would, only using modern technology. Overall, nothing could be farther from the truth. Yes, you will encounter a few worthwhile decent types, but in a game where we count followers in the thousands, they represent a minuscule percentage.

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3) “Haste makes waste.”

I remember being excited about making “friends” on Facebook when I first started out. So excited in fact, I would send friend requests to anyone who had the words author or writer on their profile. Back then, the prevailing theory suggested the key to success was a numbers game; the one with the biggest following would get a publishing deal. People were actually buying followers 10,000 at a time. I didn’t buy into this. I viewed social media as a popularity contest which does not translate into book sales ─ the equivalent to putting flyers in your neighbor’s mailboxes. I have yet to see data which is convincing enough to see it any other way. If I knew better, I would have cultivated relationships with influencers, readers of my genre, publishers, publicists, agents, reviewers, and bloggers ─ all the people I did not have as “friends” but who might have made a difference to the success achieved by my book. Had I known then what I know now, my friends list would look very different than it does today.

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4) Cocaine would have been a better choice.

If you are going to choose an addiction, social media is the worst possible choice. THERE IS NO HIGH, and the more time you spend on social media the less happy you become. Anyone who has read my book, knows I am anti-escapist regardless of whether the high is produced naturally or artificially. Regular cocaine users know the drug has a diminishing return. The high is never as good as the first time they tried it unless they increase the quantity used; and the more they use, the more frequent their cravings become until it affects their lives. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no hypocrite. I let my demons out for an occasional stroll, but I pick my poisons carefully to ensure that none take charge of my life. Social media hooks us on being connected and never being alone. It is dangerous because humans must be alone in order to think, learn, and grow. Social media stagnates the mind and, Facebook at least, seems bent on depressing the populace. Endless distractions thwart creativity and productivity. If you: feel obligated to post on social media; look in regularly for comments on posts; have never turned off Messenger or notifications or your device, then you should pick different poisons for a while until you get a handle on the monkey on your back.

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5) I kept my promise.

I used my Facebook profile page as a playground where I could share multiple aspects of my personality. This allowed me a place to vent . . . and vent I did; or more correctly, am continuing to do here in what will become my last post to Facebook. Early on I promised the real me would be on display at all times to my “friends”. The people on my friends list did not get an artificial construct or watered down perfect illusion of who I am. Nope, they got the full Monte, or at least as much Monte as Facebook would allow. My inner bad boy posted what little nudity Facebook community standards would tolerate for two reasons: Firstly, I am a rebel who sees freedoms dying faster than the planet is losing species; and secondly, nothing in the world is more beautiful to me than the female form. I shared my sense of humour as well, even when I knew it might be crossing someone’s line every now and then. I also shared my philosophies, and those from others which resonated within me, in what I now see as a futile effort to awaken the sleeping oblivious sheeple. The proof is in the likes. There were next to none. Recently, I wanted to find out if I was out of Facebook jail so I posted: ‘Somebody, anybody, tell me if you can see me.’ This post got more attention than a year’s worth of meaningful posts, and at the same time, it made a sad statement on the superficiality of the average Facebook user.

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6) “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.”

As an author, I should have divided my time equally between Goodreads, twitter, and Facebook because Goodreads has proven itself to put your books in front of readers, and unlike Facebook, you can reach out to everyone and anyone on twitter. Time is the one thing you can never get more of and it does not allow do-overs. Spend yours wisely.

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7) Nazi hamsters! WTF?

Fuckerberg, and the Nazis in the shadows behind him, are using facebook for data collection on each and every one of us, as are most of the major corporations in Silicon Valley. The difference is Facebook knows far more about us than Google, and possibly even the makers of our devices and the companies that supply operating systems as long as they do not breach their published privacy policies which most have already been caught doing. Facebook considers EVERYTHING you share to be their property. This includes Messenger. Yup, your selfies and home-made porn videos are all sitting in a data farm somewhere and you can never truly delete them. They lured us away from My Space with the promise of something better. A promise which was never kept right from the beginning. Their endless adjustments to the algorithm, have severely limited our outreach to readers while they stayed busy categorizing and compartmentalizing us into something reminiscent of a box filled with hamsters where everyone is climbing all over each other. Good luck. I’m out.

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8) Let’s see Facebook for what it is: a societal manipulation site.

That doesn’t have the same innocuous ring to it as social media site, does it. In my time on Facebook, I have been appalled by posts in my News Feed ranging from animal cruelty to the shooting of an unarmed man by police, with a far too great number of others in between. Were they fake news as with the Trumpeter’s election campaigners who mysteriously showed up only to disappear shortly after the election? We can never know. What is clear however, is we are affected, influenced, and manipulated by what we see and hear in all forms of media. Worst of all, we become desensitized to atrocious human behavior and I believe this is NO ACCIDENT; but where they are intentionally herding the minds of the sheeple. When three billion users worldwide have been programmed to no longer give a shit about life, the world can easily fall into anarchy. On that day, the frightened sheeple will willingly turn over the last of their freedoms for safety. The single biggest difference between other forms of media and Facebook is there are no restrictions placed on what Facebook is allowed to broadcast. Facebook can do what they want with the get-out-of-jail-free-card of being a social media platform not responsible for the content created by users. There is no Editor In Chief to hold accountable for what is thrust before our eyes. Facebook’s new take on morality is not for me. It shouldn’t be for you either.

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9) Some people make it bearable.

If I look at my years on Facebook as I would my life, there are some parallels. I have a few regrets but there was also a great deal of laughter. There were a handful of people who made the time spent on Facebook almost seem worthwhile. I hope they keep in touch. There were also some standouts who stepped up when it really mattered, and they have my deepest gratitude.

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10) Facebook is what you make of it.

If you are just an individual who wants to keep tabs on people you already know in the real world, or if you want to find people you have lost touch with, then have at it while being VERY cautious of what you post or message to people. Keep your circle small and be wary of people you have not met in person when they send you a friend request. If you have the misfortune of being a writer who is following conventional wisdom, a.k.a. forced kicking and screaming into the social media spotlight as I was, then things will be tougher. Absorb and retain the previous 1800 words and I will leave you with the immortal words of my favorite Zen master: ‘Mind what you have learned; save you it can.’ – Yoda.

Dear Elites,

You know who you are . . .

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and so do we.

You are the 1%–the morally bereft industrialists, bankers, spiritual leaders, and mega-corp board members who view the world and its people as THINGS to be exploited and controlled. You are not likeable, but we labour not for the 50% we give to you, but for the remainder which allows us a few simple pleasures. You limit what we can know, and yet we still manage to find out more than you would like. YOUR scientists and politicians put on quite a show through YOUR media. They keep many of us spinning, but not all of us. Your arrogance has blinded you to a few simple truths.

We tolerate your presence among us because we crave security and peace of mind in our small work-a-day lives.

We see you destabilizing economies. We see your security states. We see how you cultivate conflicts. We see you attacking our Constitutions. We see you passing laws to benefit only yourselves. We see you feverishly working to divide us. We see you killing. We know you envisage a world without us, but we also know you cannot DO for yourselves. We know about many of your safe havens. Who do you think built them?

You need us . . . or at least some of us.

And herein lies your problem. NONE of your assets are maintenance free. Not a single one. If you examine each of them closely, you will see at least a small crew of work-a-day people who possess specialized skills and knowledge that you do not. Your architects, designers, builders, and landscapers create your dream, but they don’t maintain it. There are the lawn and garden people; the pool, sauna, and hot tub people; the chimney, fireplace, roof, and eves people; the security, cable, satellite, electronics, electrical, plumbing, and appliance people; the driveway, patio, helipad, and tennis court people . . . You get the idea, and this is just the tip of the iceberg.

You are surrounded by us and always will be.

We are the working class and you cannot maintain your lavish lifestyles without literally hundreds of us. You are reliant on each of us. We feign friendliness and loyalty, but never assume you can buy all of us. Each of us share a different morality than yours. We still feel sympathy and empathy towards our fellow humans despite your attempts to program these out of us on YOUR social media sites. Yes, we picked up on this too.

You are grossly outnumbered and scared of us. We get that.

Perhaps, it is time you consider how easy it would be for us to get to you if we were to be incensed by the loss of our friends and loved ones. You can vet us all you want–hand picking us–but there will always be one of us near you who is waiting for the right moment.

Sleep well.

Sincerely,

The Huddled Masses.

How to fix America: I did your homework for you.

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It’s easier than you think to create change if you keep your eye on your GOAL . . . and get off your butt.

466 days have slipped by and what have you done?

You have just 994 days left to make your move.

https://days.to/election-day-in-us/2020

Big problems MUST require big solutions, right?

WRONG!

Any problem-solver will tell you that big problems are made up of a number of smaller more manageable and completely solvable issues.

Here are some big problems:

  • Many Americans are OUTRAGED by the antics of their President and his gangsters.
  • Many Americans are OUTRAGED by the possibility of elections tampering.
  • Many Americans are OUTRAGED by what appears to be the rise of fascism.
  • Many Americans are OUTRAGED by racism.
  • Many Americans are OUTRAGED by sexism.
  • Many Americans are OUTRAGED by the lack of federal government assistance to Americans hit by natural disasters.
  • Many Americans are OUTRAGED by the loss of American military personnel being used in foreign lands allegedly to “protect” American interests; or to bring “freedom” to people nearly bombed into extinction.
  • Many Americans are OUTRAGED by the ever-increasing loss of privacy in the emerging security state.
  • Many Americans are OUTRAGED by the lack of senate and congressional oversight and accounting for the 21 TRILLION DOLLARS OF TAXPAYER’S MONEY spent primarily by the military and security agencies in recent years.
  • http://msutoday.msu.edu/news/2017/msu-scholars-find-21-trillion-in-unauthorized-government-spending-defense-department-to-conduct/
  • Many Americans are OUTRAGED by the deportation tactics of U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) agents who are willing to “just follow orders”.
  • Many Americans are OUTRAGED by how “normal” mass shootings have become and how quickly they are forgotten.
  • Many Americans are OUTRAGED by the exceedingly poor quality Presidential candidates offered up by both parties in the last election.
  • Many Americans are OUTRAGED . . . we could go on and on, but it is time to look at what they all have in common.

Americans are OUTRAGED, and they should be!

But the sheer quantity of things causing them to be outraged is what keeps them from getting off their butts to do anything about ANY of these issues. There is a new big problem, reported in their media, which causes them to be outraged almost every day—new threats—new scandals—new protests. . .  Their news sources bombard them with new and exciting things to be outraged about to keep them from becoming FOCUSED on any one GOAL.

It is time every American became FOCUSED on their own personal GOAL to aid in fixing America.

This will require that you not be DISTRACTED or DIVERTED or DIVIDED by the daily nonsense being pumped out of Washington.

You will need to be PROACTIVE, because merely being REACTIVE just helps those in power maintain the status quo while moving their agendas forward.

Let’s look at why being reactive has not moved America towards positive change for over 60 years; while also looking at some of the time-wasting ineffectual reactive responses of outraged, but well-meaning, Americans who simply lacked a clear vision of how to create change.

  • PICKING A SIDE is a reactive response. We see this all the time on social media where Democrats are attempting to inform the public of the government’s latest insult to the American way of life, as though they are some kind of trusted news source. Some of them believe they can change the views of a Republican by informing them of the latest dirt on their party’s members. Some will engage in debates with GOP, Tea Party, and even white supremacist members, and then will resort to petty name-calling when they fail to make a dent.

None of this accomplishes anything because the GOAL is to convert people. You will only get a few rational fence-sitters for all your efforts, and this is not nearly enough to fix the big problems.

  • SUPPORTING A CAUSE is a reactive response. IT FEELS GOOD to be a part of a protest march for women’s rights, or to stop a pipeline, or to occupy Wall Street.

If the march only accomplishes a heightened awareness or rehashing of the issues rather than producing immediate results or an actionable plan; then we have no choice but to stamp it “ineffectual”.

WORKING A CAUSE within an organization of people with a clear GOAL is the proactive response.

It will mean getting up, showing up, and joining up. Some of you might even throw some money at it.

  • If you vote Republican without joining the party so you have a voice; then you are not helping.

https://www.wikihow.com/Join-The-Republican-Party

  • If you vote Democrat without joining the party so you have a voice; then you are not helping.

https://www.wikihow.com/Become-a-Registered-Democrat

  • If you hate both of those? Check out these alternatives.

http://www.reformparty.org/contacts/join-the-reform-party/

http://www.constitutionparty.com/

http://www.gp.org/index.php

Almost all of America’s biggest OUTRAGE inducing problems are a result of a government representatives lacking either a conscience or the bravery to stand up to the bankers, agencies, corporations, and other groups who believe themselves to be out of the reach of the taxpayer’s wrath. Keep this in mind when you are asked to choose, nominate, or support a candidate.

Only YOUR INVOLVEMENT can create a tidal wave of change.

  • You need to get EVERYONE out to vote.

https://www.voterparticipation.org/our-mission/

  • You need to REFORM your electoral system.

http://www.fairvote.org/solutions

  • Here is a directory of 37 organizations that are working towards electoral or political change. I am certain there is an organization whose GOALS for America parallel your own.

http://bigbatusa.org/electoral-reform/strategy-tactics-activist-elements/e-other-reference-points/

The days of being an observer on the sidelines are over.

It is up to you, and the other 235,248,000 people who are of voting age in America to get busy on something meaningful.

If you do, you will scare the crap out of all the reprobates currently working on Wall Street and in D.C.

Taxpayers and voters are the most powerful people in America, but politicians and bankers don’t want you to know that.

Please get off your butts and create change while you still have the freedom to do so.

Most of the other 6.7 billion people on Earth are very concerned about you.

 

Your Beliefs Create Your Reality: Part 1

America:

Division and the Falsehood of a Polarized Populace:

Throughout your entire life, you have been hearing about the futility of bucking the system. ‘You can’t fight City Hall.” are words we all have heard more than once. When we hear things again and again, we start to BELIEVE them. This causes you to accept this as a truism—a truth which is undeniable—so you, like your parents, teachers and role models, knuckle under and go with the flow, seeking what little happiness you can find in your short time here. IT IS BRAINWASHING designed to promote apathy. Conformists will tell you that everything I have ever stated here, or in some other writing, is an oversimplification of the problems which exist in America. In  doing this, they further the cause of apathy which is designed to maintain the status quo and to make you BELIEVE that change is too difficult and not worth the grief.

Change is not only achievable but simple if you BELIEVE it is possible.

When the media shows you examples of political activists from all over the world being arrested and wrongfully sentenced to ridiculously long periods of incarceration which do not justly fit their crimes, they are reinforcing the idea that you are better off towing the line. Meanwhile, the same media will, at best, dedicate only a few seconds of coverage from places like Standing Rock which clearly shows huge numbers of peaceful protesters rising up against the broken system. THIS TYPE OF BEHAVIOR IS NOT TO BE ENCOURAGED so they do not show it.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/indigenous/social-media-standing-rock-bridge-1.3861014

Again, this same media will spend a great deal of time with in-depth coverage of anything that can divide Americans. Fear mongering topics like race and religion are always top stories, followed closely by guns, abortion etc. NEVER DO THEY COVER WHAT AMERICANS NEED TO BE PAYING ATTENTION TO.

Topics like:

  • How the military industrial complex receives more tax dollars than education.
  • How the big pharmaceutical companies are charging many times more in America than anywhere else in the world.
  • How big oil and gas companies are reckless in their pursuit of new reserves to the detriment of safe drinking water and clean soil which sustain your food supply.
  • How none of the above pay taxes.
  • How endless cuts to social programs have historically always led to civil unrest and/or a society being plunged into chaos.

It is long overdue for Americans to decide on and BELIEVE in real lasting change.

  • Are you willing to continue to sacrifice the lives of your sons and daughters in the name of patriotism, in wars that do not bring prosperity, as the world’s policemen?
  • Are you willing to:continue to lose your loved ones just because you could not afford the necessary treatments?
  • Are you willing to pay the added costs to import all your drinking water and food?
  • Are you willing to continue to be thought of as a backward easily manipulated people?

If this is not your idea of a great nation, then there is something you can do about it, and it will not require a violent overthrow of your government.

Looking for commonality instead of difference is the key to the creation of a new political party which puts the needs of every American before all other concerns.

How to build a new political party quickly:

  1. There are Republicans who are ashamed of their party’s leadership. REACH OUT TO THEM and invite them to talks. THEY ARE READY FOR CHANGE!
  2. There are Democrats who do not like their party’s ties to Wall Street. Invite them to talks. THEY ARE READY FOR CHANGE!
  3. Create a grass roots platform of “… by the people, for the people.” where the party’s position on hotly contested issues are answered simply with: We will let the people of America decide this. Reform through referendum, accountability, and transparency, is a platform which can attract the best and brightest to the cause.If only 20% of card carrying Republicans and Democrats are willing to commit, you have a foundation for a new national Republicratic party. (Demolican? You might want to work on better names.)
  4. By speaking of equality, it will take little to bring the female vote here—especially after this current administration—but YOU MUST BEGIN BY REACHING OUT TO THE WOMEN OF AMERICA NOW to enlist their participation and support. Also in this fearful group are people of different ethnic backgrounds and people of non-Christian religious faiths. THEY ARE READY FOR CHANGE!
  5. Only 58% of eligible voters voted in 2016. There were abstainers on both sides who could not in good conscience vote for the presidential candidates their parties endorsed. There has always been about 25% of eligible voters who do not show up to the polls. They have been waiting for this party. REACH OUT TO THEM and invite them to talks. THEY ARE READY FOR CHANGE!

Fear is created where the seeds of ignorance are sown.

Let’s imagine you are just Joe or Jo Average American. You lead a busy life and may not follow politics or have any interest in becoming involved. You do your civic duty by voting and that is about it. This is completely okay. If you work and pay taxes, you are a model citizen. You watch the news and are worried by what you see happening elsewhere in your country. You probably wonder how long before it hits close to home. Creating this fear in you is the desired response of these news stories. You will willingly go along with any solution that the government claims will keep you and your family safe—including giving up some of your freedoms.

Statistics claim that 40% of Americans go to a house of worship every week, but the numbers vary wildly by state and by the type of religion. For the sake of this point, we are lumping you in with the devout.

So what can an average American do to keep their town safe from the coming anarchy?

  • Get guns? No.
  • Store up water and provisions? Not a bad precaution, but no.
  • Form a militia? You are getting warm, but no.

The answer is to reinforce your community.

  • Concrete barricades and bunkers? No.
  • Machine gun emplacements? No.

community   noun   Fellowship, being alike in some way.

Just about everyone living in your community is ALIKE in that you all share the same fears of violence and persecution. You must REACH OUT to everyone in your community that you have been conditioned to fear. Believe me, they have been conditioned to fear you too.

Only through communication can a safe community be created.

Not fearing your neighbors is a beginning.

  • Church groups can be formed and plans made to visit all the different houses of worship in your community. In doing this, you begin to tear down the myths and stereotypes spun in the media about people whose BELIEFS are not as different from your own as you might think. Takes on religious stories aside, they want peace, safety and security for their families too. It is almost guaranteed you will receive a warm welcome, and you might make some new friends in these travels.
  • Joining local business associations is another way to get to know members of your community. Again, sharing concerns about the security of your businesses can make for some commonality among business owners in your community.
  • Joining the PTA or being a part of after school programs is a great way to get to know your neighbors who also have children. They have all the same parenting problems that you do and sometimes more, if they are attempting to raise their child in the ways of two different cultures.
  • Getting involved in charitable and community events are a couple of other ways to form these new friendships.

Friendships imply a modicum of mutually assured security in a community. It has been proven in the Middle East, but the media does not show you stories such as these.

Polarization is difficult to cultivate where truth exists.

America is known as the “home of the brave” so be brave America, and go get to know the neighbors you are being told to fear. The relationships you forge may be your community’s best defense.

 

This is the new theme for the 2017 blog series.

I hope you like it.

You can now grab a copy of my book anywhere in the world (so they tell me).

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Do you have guys who are difficult to buy gifts for?

Do you want your guy to read more?

Do you want to keep a young guy from leaping before he looks?

Do you want to figure guys out?

Reviewers love Ms. Creant (and most are women).

Ms. Creant: The Wrong Doers! is a non-fiction book chronicling one man’s somewhat humorous journey to understand women, relationships, life, society and civilization.

Available in e-book & 8×10 large print editions in both paperback & hardcover.

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ISBNs

978-1-77302-134-8 (Hardcover)

978-1-77302-132-4 (Paperback)

978-1-77302-133-1 (e-book)