A Holiday Message. . .

Times are tough.

There is a great deal of uncertainty at the very least, if not fear or outright paranoia in our world at the moment.

Please try to reign in these thoughts–especially over the holidays.

If you are able to read this on-line, it most likely means you can afford devices and services which connect you to this on-line world. This also implies that your immediate security needs of shelter, food, and clothing have also been met. Be grateful for what you have as there are a great many others who are not as fortunate and who will not be able to read this.

The holidays are a time for giving–our way of expressing love, caring and thanks to people we know.

 

Even strangers tend to treat us a little better at this time of year. They might smile as they hold a door for us when we have both of our hands full of shopping bags. Our preoccupation with finishing the damnable shopping, so that we can jump back into the hustle and bustle of the season, might make us overlook this tiny kind gesture. Seize the moment to look them in the eye and say thank you and wish them a happy holiday. It might be the only present they receive this year.

The holiday season puts increased demands on our time because of all the commitments we make to family and friends. This causes us to be stressed and possibly irritable. We need to remember that we are fortunate to have those friends and family members with us, as many others may not.

Some people will not be able to travel to see their friends and family this year. They may feel very alone. They can change that by volunteering their time to a cause they believe in. Many worthwhile causes do not close during the holidays and spending time with the other volunteers will almost certainly turn into new friendships.

We pick up the holiday spirit by being compassionate. Give some canned goods to the food bank, give some blankets to a shelter or contribute to your local toy drive. The smallest things make a difference in this world. We often forget this. We do not have to solve global warming to improve the planet; the kid who receives your toy this year might be destined to do that–if they are not emotionally scarred by Santa missing their home. This is how we are all connected.

Goodness spreads like a virus through all walks of life, across all religions, and it does not see the color of someones skin or their gender. By spreading that which we know to be good, we spread hope. The hope we create can alter the path of another.

This almost certainly will be my last blog post for a while.

I wish to extend my gratitude to all of you who follow me on social media. To you, and everyone you care about, I wish you a safe and happy holiday season.

E. A.

 

Ms. Creant: The Wrong Doers!

Life With Women: The Long-Awaited Instruction Manual

This book was created for everyone, from young adults to seniors. It was written from a male’s point of view, speaking to men who are endlessly struggling to understand the opposite sex. For women, this is a fascinating journey inside the male psyche. The book gives a young reader a glimpse of the future, with a recommended timeline for key life events. Mature readers, who have already experienced much of what is discussed in the book, should come away with a new-found understanding, and perhaps even closure. Ms. Creant is a controversial, entertaining, yet informative look at everything that influences human behaviour including: relationships, life, health, biology, philosophy, sociology, theology, politics, genetics—even physics. E. A. Barker shares twenty-four “inappropriate” stories of life with women. The author based these stories of women behaving badly on his real life experiences, spanning four decades of his search for an ideal partner. The lessons taken away from the book will serve to help readers make better choices, become more aware, grow, and change—at any stage of life.

ISBNs

978-1-77302-134-8 (8×10 Large Print Hardcover)

978-1-77302-132-4 (8×10 Large Print Paperback)

978-1-77302-133-1 (eBook)

Amazon US ➜ http://tinyurl.com/hpdbjtp
Amazon CA ➜ http://tinyurl.com/jxa7zab
Amazon AU ➜ http://tinyurl.com/zhufwl6
Amazon UK ➜ http://tinyurl.com/jnrp9dn
Smashwords ➜ http://tinyurl.com/grxg5sv
B&N ➜ http://tinyurl.com/j9murlr
Kobo ➜ http://tinyurl.com/je2ytyp
itunes ➜ http://tinyurl.com/h47zplv
Indigo ➜ http://tinyurl.com/jye4q5m

https://www.facebook.com/MsCreantTheWrongDoers/

https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/58727166-e-a-barker

 

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Blog 23: What Is Abuse?

Have you been or are you currently a victim of abuse?

This is a tough topic.

We will explore the grey areas and the results might surprise many of us that BELIEVE that we are in a non-abusive relationship.

I have witnessed or counselled people on almost every aspect and type of abuse without ever realizing the nuances of abuse- never truly connecting all the dots for myself.

Did you ever wonder what happens when the cheerleader marries the football player? This post was inspired by a friend that confessed to me that she has been living in fear and has been the recipient of brutal physical attacks over the last twenty years. It sickened me to hear this. I told her that this is not how anyone should live and encouraged her to contact several different agencies and groups for assistance. She was EMBARRASSED to let others know of her situation. I could not fathom how someone could risk serious person injury or even death because of ego.

I found a wonderful brochure in a waiting room that everyone should read. It is simply entitled “ARE YOU COOL?” (Yes, the title appealed to my ego and I think that I am very cool.) The brochure was reprinted by the YWCA and copies can be ordered through METRAC. Inside was a quiz that went as follows: (I included my own answers from all my previous relationship experiences as I was not in a relationship when I took this quiz.)

Relationship Quiz

In a relationship, have you ever experienced:

  1. physical violence?

YES ____ or NO ____

(I had to answer YES even though she was drunk.)

 

  1. threats that your partner will leave you if you don’t do what he/she asks?

YES ____ or NO ____

(Again I was forced to answer YES.)

 

  1. being kept away from your family and friends?

YES ____ or NO ____

(NO.)

 

  1. not being able to look at or speak to other males/females?

YES ____ or NO ____

(Again I was forced to answer YES.)

 

  1. having to justify your whereabouts?

YES ____ or NO ____

(Again I was forced to answer YES.)

 

  1. your partner using guilt trips to get his/her own way?

YES ____ or NO ____

(Again I was forced to answer YES.)

 

  1. not being able to go out without your partner?

YES ____ or NO ____

(Again I was forced to answer YES.)

 

  1. any put-downs about your physical appearance?

YES ____ or NO ____

(Again I was forced to answer YES.)

 

  1. your partner never being satisfied with you?

YES ____ or NO ____

(NO; that I am aware of.)

 

  1. fear or intimidation by your partner?

YES ____ or NO ____

(NO.)

 

  1. being treated badly or humiliated in front of your friends or family?

YES ____ or NO ____

(Again I was forced to answer YES.)

If you answered YES to one or more questions, you may be in an unhealthy relationship.

“Well DUH!” went through my mind. I learned from these relationships and wrote a book about my misadventures. The mere fact that I have personally experienced EIGHT of a possible ELEVEN did shock me a little though. I am a six foot three inch tall guy that is in good physical condition, weighing in at two-hundred pounds and very capable in a fight, as my early bad boys years proved.

I never thought of myself as a VICTIM until I read this.

On the inside of the brochure is a relationship thermometer that ranges from COOL (blue healthy zone) to WARM (amber warning zone) and finally to HOT (red danger zone). Again I would ask myself if I had ever experienced any of these, but this time I would also ask myself if I had actually DONE any of these.

ARE YOU COOL?

Is your relationship healthy?

Find your relationship on the thermometer…

IN THE BLUE HEALTHY ZONE:

Responsibility- Do you and your partner make decisions and solve problems or conflicts together? (Typically, YES.)

Trust- Do you and your partner respect each other’s feelings, wishes and opinions and do you support each other? (Typically, YES.)

Honesty- Do you and your partner accept responsibility for your actions and talk openly and honestly with each other? (Typically, YES.)

Fairness- Do you and your partner work through conflict so that both of you are satisfied and are you each willing to compromise? (QUESTIONABLE- I believe there is a fundamental problem here. I do not believe that people who compromise can also be satisfied. I wrote at length about the word compromise in my book and how it usually means that one party makes more concessions than the other, or capitulates completely to avoid an escalating conflict.)

No Threats- Do you and your partner talk, act and resolve conflicts in ways that make you both feel comfortable and safe? (Typically, YES.)

Financial Partnership- Do you and your partner share financial decisions and responsibilities? (YES.)

Respect- Do you and your partner respect each other’s feelings, opinions and differences? (Typically YES.)

 

IN THE AMBER WARNING ZONE:

Blame & Denial- Does your partner blame you for making the abuse happen, avoid personal responsibility or deny that there is a problem? (YES, I have had partners with these traits.)

Jealousy- Does your partner check up on you or act jealously or possessively towards you? (YES, I have had this happen to me.)

Control- Does your partner boss you around, give orders, or make all the decisions? (NO, I have not had this happen to me but YES I make my wishes clear when a woman moves into MY place, I expect that it remains my place. However, on the few occasions where we got a place together and were both contributing financially, it became OUR place and had to respect her choices… however bad they may be- especially in the areas of decor and household purchases. If this makes me a control freak, so be it. I like what I like.)

Criticism- Does your partner criticize your appearance, your ideas, your family and your friends, or purposely embarrass you in front of others? (This one is an eye-opener: YES, I have been with critical partners and YES I have been critical of my partner at times. How do you encourage growth and change without criticizing? I had an epiphany here. Perhaps my problem is an unwillingness to accept partners for who they are and whoever they might become- to love their soul and ignore all else. I doubt that I can fix this defect in myself. This may be why I choose to remain unattached.)

Fear- Does your partner have a quick temper, a history of mistreating others, threaten suicide or make you feel afraid? (YES, I once had a partner that threatened suicide but I called her bluff and she did not hurt herself. NO, I do not believe I have used fear as a means of control.)

Force- Does your partner force you to do things that you don’t want to do and make you feel guilty if you disagree? (NO, I have never been forced into anything but YES guilt has been used to manipulate me into doing things I did not want to do. NO, I have never used force against my partner and I consciously avoid using guilt as a weapon to get what I want.)

 

IN THE RED DANGER ZONE:

Physical Abuse- Does your partner slap, push or kick you? (NO.)

Sexual Abuse- Does your partner force you to be involved in sex against your will? (NO.)

Financial Abuse- Does your partner control all the money and how it is spent? (NO.)

Threats & Intimidation- Does your partner threaten to hurt you, your family, friends, pets or scare you with looks, actions or suicidal behaviour? (NO.)

Emotional & Verbal Abuse- Does your partner shout, yell, put you down, call you names or make you feel badly about yourself. (This is interesting. Women have shouted, yelled, put me down, called me names but rarely, if ever, made me feel badly about myself. My self-esteem is not fragile. Arguments will get heated sometimes and YES I have raised my voice out of frustration but to the others I would answer NO.)

Isolation- Does your partner control where you go and when or keep you from family and friends? (NO.)

The brochure concluded with:

HEALTHY or UNHEALTHY?

Having a partner (boyfriend/girlfriend) can be an exciting and important time in your life. If your relationship with your partner is a HEALTHY one, you and your partner will feel good about yourselves and value each other. However, sometimes relationships can be HURTFUL and have a negative effect on your feelings of self-worth and self-confidence. This can happen if your partner is abusive towards you. If this is the case, you are in an UNHEALTHY relationship. Remember, being on your own is also a healthy way to be. Having a partner is not a necessary part of life. Discovering life for yourself can be exciting and rewarding.

What is abuse?

Abuse is being hit, slapped or pushed around. It can also be invisible and leave no marks. Emotional and verbal abuse can be terrifying and equally dangerous.

Does your relationship include abuse?

You may feel that it’s your fault if things aren’t working out. Sometimes living with abuse seems better than being alone. You may hope that your partner will change and the abuse will stop – chances are, things will get worse! This happens to many people – you are not alone and IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT! Remember, all forms of abuse are attempts to control. TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE, BE YOURSELF, TAKE CHARGE!

What the pamphlet did not delve into is where abuse comes from.

  • It can be a learned behavioural trait. Being a witness to abuse as a child can lead to being abusive as an adult. To these individuals, abuse has become accepted as being NORMAL.
  • It can come from brain injury and brain chemical imbalance. Bipolar Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder commonly lead to abuse. In some cases, the treatments work but many patients will quit taking their medications or abuse substances that counteract the effects or the medications. If the abuse begins years into an otherwise normal relationship, the victims often stick it out in the hope that things will somehow return to the way they once were.
  • Jealous possessives are people that are very insecure. They usually have low self-esteem or low self-worth because of the emotional damage they carry with them that could have begun in their childhood with bullying, been imparted into them by the educational system or their family members.
  • Psychopaths have trouble understanding right from wrong. They are usually identified and hopefully treated. There is only a very small percentage of violence from persons with psychological disorders despite what movies and the media tell us. Most people with mental disorders are more likely to be victims than perpetrators.

Settling is the first problem. We make bad relationship decisions based on our self-worth with the romantic, but unrealistic notion that we can change the person we select into our ideal mate. From there it is fear of loss that makes us stay in unhealthy relationships as well as a warped acceptance of the unhealthy relationship as time goes by- eventually, IT JUST BECOMES NORMAL.

Not everyone looks very hard at themselves to try to understand their behaviour. Most people will take the easiest path in life, which often results in them living in an abusive environment and raising children there. This perpetuates abuse generation after generation. It is very sad.

What does it take to remove one’s self from an abusive relationship?

  • BRAVERY- you must believe that a better life can be had despite your insecurities.
  • PATIENCE- you must realize that it probably took some time to get you into this situation and it may take a while to get yourself out of it.
  • HELP- few people just pack a bag, get on a bus and leave forever. Most have to get in touch with family, friends and most importantly… the AUTHORITIES on the subject like police, counsellors, groups and organisations that specialize in this area.
  • HONESTY- You must tell everyone what has been happening to you. It will not be easy and some will wonder why you let things get so bad before doing something about it. Others will just open their doors to you. This honesty will afford you some safety. An abuser that is found out is less likely to do anything that could get them in trouble with the authorities.
  • PLANNING- with the guidance of social workers or other PROFESSIONALS, you will be able to leave for somewhere safer without having to worry about the details of your former home.

 

My book:

Ms. Creant: The Wrong Doers!

Life with Women: the long awaited instruction manual.

Talks of relationships, health, life, biology, philosophy, sociology, theology, genetics- even physics as well as HOW HAPPINESS IS ATTAINABLE.

 

I will spend the next little while trying to understand why I persist in writing about tough subjects.

Hopefully, something funny will be the inspiration for the next one.

Until then remember “Life is what YOU make of it.”

E. A.

 

Blog 19: Why? It is a Good Question.

Three year-old’s love to ask this question. It seems the aged like it too.

An old woman from Norway that had never left her country before was given a trip to Los Angeles by a distant relative. While touring the Hollywood Hills looking at massive homes with multiple vehicles she was asked what she thought. She uttered one word.

Why?

Where she grew up, a house was shelter and only need be big enough for the number of occupants that reside there. She could not fathom a thirty room house that was mostly empty and she did not see the necessity for more than one vehicle.

She viewed it as wasteful.

She seemed quite interested in the roofs of these homes. She asked what they were made of and was told that they were Marley tile roofs, copper roofs and solar paneled roofs among others.

She asked: Why not use grass?

No one in the car could answer her question.

Later the same day, she overheard a conversation about private Health Insurance and asked: Why would you not want to use the Public Health System? It was explained to her that the best most immediate care was private.

She asked: Why?

No one in the room could adequately answer her question.

In touring L.A. she saw many homeless people that were her age on the streets.

She asked: Why do they live like that?

It was explained to her that many older retired people did not have pensions that could afford them housing. Some needed medications for mental disorders that they could not afford.

She asked: Did they not work their whole lives?

An answer came back that stated: “Just because you work your whole life in America is no guaranty that you will have a nice retirement.”

She asked: Why do they not live in the empty rooms of those big mansions?

A very young Great Great Niece of hers answered this one. She said: “Because rich people are afraid of poor people.”

She asked: Why?

The car was uncomfortably quiet for some time after that.

At dinner there was talk of sending her Great Niece to University and which of the schools on the list was the most affordable.

She asked: Why do you have to pay to educate your children if they are going to live and work in this country their whole lives?

No one attempted to answer.

She told her Great Niece about her University days so many years ago, and how excited she was back then at receiving her P.H.D. Everyone at the table was stunned. They had no idea that this very modestly dressed woman of few words that lived in a small three room grass-roofed house in Europe had an advanced degree.

She went on to point out that her family did not have to pay for her higher education as it was part of a government social program that included: free health care where you just walk into any hospital you want and an old age security plan that kept most everyone living comfortably after retirement with around 50% of their pre-retirement wage. Everyone that worked in the country paid about 15% of their wage into these programs. She added that there were not any homeless people and very little crime where she lived, and left it to us to connect the dots.

The rest of her short visit was spent talking about the family tree for the most part and visiting some tourist traps.

As we were driving her to the airport, she asked that we stop the car just ahead. She got out, walked over to a homeless lady and gave her all her remaining American money and got back in the car without uttering so much as a word.

As she was about to board she turned to us and said:

“This is the one of the richest countries in the world. You really should ask your government where they are spending all the money.”

Her doctorate was in economics.

My book:

Ms. Creant: The Wrong Doers!

Life with Women: the long awaited instruction manual.

Talks of relationships, health, life, biology, philosophy, sociology, theology, genetics- even physics as well as SUPPLYING SOME ANSWERS TO THE QUESTION: WHY?

Have a great week.

E. A.

 

 

Blog 22: Tips for a very merry Christmas… or holiday season… or whatever.

“This is my Holiday Greeting Card so pay attention!” … he wrote, amused by the overt slap he had just given everyone.

The holiday season, like every day in your life, is what you make of it. You have the choice to make it special or a time to be unhappy. I choose the former.

The best messages of the Holiday Season may help more than ever this year, so here are some of my favorites:

“I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.” Charles Dickens.

“As long as we know in our hearts what Christmas ought to be, Christmas is.” Eric Sevareid.

“Bless us Lord, this Christmas, with quietness of mind; teach us to be patient and always be kind.” Helen Steiner Rice.

“He who has no Christmas in his heart will never find Christmas under a tree.” Charlotte Carpenter.

“Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love!” Hamilton Wright Mabie.

“Christmas is a day of joy and charity. May God make you very rich in both.” Phillips Brooks.

“Christmas is not a time or season but a state of mind. To cherish peace and good will, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas.” Calvin Coolidge.

“Christmas is not as much about opening presents as opening our hearts.” Janice Maeditere.

“Do give books- religious or otherwise- for Christmas. They’re never fattening, seldom sinful, and permanently personal.” Lenore Hershey.

“For the spirit of Christmas fulfils the greatest hunger of mankind.” Loring A. Schuler.

This one is perhaps the most needed now.

“Christmas gift suggestions:

To your enemy, forgiveness.

To an opponent, tolerance.

To a friend, your heart.

To a customer, service.

To all, charity.

To every child, a good example.

To yourself, respect.”

Oren Arnold

Is the glass half empty of half full? Either way there is only half of a glass, so top it up to the brim with cheer and read on. Yes, it is o.k. to augment your positivity with some artificial peace, love, joy and goodwill.

My “half full” view looks like this:

Recent world events have brought to the surface the best traits of mankind.

In the darkest places on Earth where the most inhuman acts occur; there are acts of selflessness and compassion that continue to shine through the bleakness. The media pays little attention to these stories as it appears to be in violation of their directive to sell fear and despair all year round.

In response to this…

I have locked out the cable box so that only the fireplace channel, Christmas movies and Christmas music stations can be played.

My “half empty” view looks like this:

Recent world events have also brought to the surface the worst traits of mankind.

There is sadness, hate, calls for retribution, racism, fear, paranoia, isolationist thinking and divided opinion in most countries of the world. It has wormed its way into my circle of friends and even my family, so I may choose to spend my time elsewhere this year.

In social media, I have fought many losing battles in an effort to bring balance and rationality to hotly debated issues. Apparently rationality is not in high demand these days- lesson learned. It has left me drained emotionally and thoroughly disappointed in my fellow man. I have un-friended and un-followed a number of people whose posts and conversation I truly enjoyed… until they went over to the dark side.

As of December 15th I will suspend all social media activity until sometime in the New Year. I will strike out in an attempt to find people that are doing for others; whose hearts are full of joy.

My book:

Ms. Creant: The Wrong Doers!

Life with Women: the long awaited instruction manual.

Talks of relationships, health, life, biology, philosophy, sociology, theology, genetics- even physics as well as HOW EACH OF US CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE IF WE CHOOSE THAT ROAD.

“Happy holidays to all, and to all a good night.

E. A.

P. S. Have a fabulous New Year as well.

 

Blog 17: The Irrational Rationality.

HUMANS CAN RATIONALIZE ANYTHING.

Somewhere along the way, I was researching the various religious faiths that showed the number of followers for each. When I added them all together the number came to around 4 BILLION or 66% of the globes population. With that many do-gooders on the planet, you would think that the world would be a much better place than it is.

Here is why Earth is not a paradise.

HUMANS DO NOT PAY ENOUGH ATTENTION TO DIRECTIONS.

HUMANS RATIONALIZE DIRECTIVES INTO GUIDELINES.

HUMANS RE-THINK, RE-WORK AND RE-INTERPRET RATIONAL DIRECTIVES TO SUIT THEIR OWN IRRATIONAL AGENDAS.

More than half of the world’s population is familiar with the following section and most have at least heard of the other lists that follow.

“The TEN COMMANDMENTS”:

I am listing the version that I was taught as a child and will comment on some of the more significant RATIONALIZED versions that are being taught. The order that they are presented has been changed over the years by different religions.

“Thou shalt have no other gods before me.”

“Thou shalt make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. Thou shalt not bow down to them: …”

“Thou shalt take the name of the Lord thy God in vain; …”

“Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.”

“Honour thy father and thy mother.”

“Thou shalt not kill.” This has been changed quite significantly to “Thou shalt not murder.” by some.

“Thou shalt not commit adultery.”

“Thou shalt not steal.”

“Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.”

“Thou shalt not covet… any thing that is thy neighbor’s.”

HOW DID YOU SCORE?

I passed the first two with flying colours. I failed on the third and forth. I passed the fifth and sixth. I passed the seventh using the RATIONALE that I have never been “technically” married. I failed on the eighth, passed the ninth and probably failed the tenth at some point in time.

I have a solid 5 with perhaps as high as 7 out of 10. I can RATIONALIZE that this is NOT BAD.

TEN was just too big for humans to comprehend and with so many it created too many disputes about how to interpret them.

Apparently, Jesus felt the need to summarize the ten down to two big ones.

The Two Great Commandments:

“You shall love the LORD your GOD with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.”

“You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

I am 1 for 2 here.

The Catholic religion added some ideas that are worth of a look.

“The Seven Deadly Sins”:

Lust:               Definitely guilty.

Greed:            I do not think so.

Gluttony:        On occasion.

Envy:              Definitely guilty.

Anger:            Definitely guilty.

Pride:              Probably.

Sloth:              Definitely as a teen.

So I will RATIONALIZE that on a lifetime basis, I scored only a 1 out of 7 but on a daily basis, currently I typically run at only one sin per day so the score looks much better at 6 out of 7. NOT BAD AT ALL.

I guess they realized that nobody was scoring well with the sins list, so they added to it. By allowing followers to RATIONALIZE that they were not all that bad- they would leave church feeling better about themselves.

The better the church made them feel about themselves, the more the followers attended, and the more donations the church received.

“The Seven Heavenly (Capital) Virtues”:

Chastity:                    Not self-imposed.

Temperance:             Yes.

Charity:                      Yes

Diligence:                  Yes

Forgiveness:             Yes, but there is room for improvement.

Kindness:                  Yes

Humility:                    Yes but again there is room for improvement.

So again, I will RATIONALIZE that I scored at least 4 out of 7 and maybe as high as 6 out of 7 depending on the harshness of the evaluator- PRETTY GOOD.

In conclusion I will RATIONALIZE that I am a virtuous sinner.

My overall averaged lifetime score according to religion is 13 for 26. They do not make it clear what a passing grade is though.

I could go PAY to be ABSOLVED of some sins to improve my numbers as many people do; but that is not my way. I will let my record stand for itself.

Now let us explore the ultimate in HUMAN IRRATIONAL RATIONALIZATION.

“Thou shalt not kill.”

This has been changed quite significantly to:

“Thou shalt not murder.”

This one needed modification almost immediately.

How can you have a war, especially a religious war or a religion sanctioned war without killing?

Humans RATIONALIZED that killing each other was necessary.

Humans RATIONALIZED that killing is not the same as murder.

Humans RATIONALIZED that the soldiers and peace officers of the world NEED TO KILL in order to benefit CIVILIZATION.

Of course we cannot have a COMMANDMENT that makes them feel GUILTY for following orders and defending themselves.

FOR 3465 YEARS THIS HAS BEEN THE WAY OF HUMAN CIVILIZATION, and look how well things are going thanks to RATIONALIZATION.

HUMANS NEED SIMPLICITY!

We need a set of guidelines that CANNOT BE MISINTERPRETED TO RATIONALIZE MISDEEDS.

A new release of a greatest hits package could look like this:

The ONE COMMANDMENT:

“BE GOOD.”

A person that possesses conscience, love, honor and awareness is GOOD.

Conscience:

THE CREATOR of all things gave you conscience so that you would know RIGHT from WRONG on a spiritual level.

If you choose misdeeds and ignore your conscience, you will not have a good life.

A conscionable person will not engage in immoral acts.

A conscionable person will not engage in unscrupulous acts.

Love:

THE CREATOR of all things gave you love so that you would know JOY.

First, you must love yourself in order to love others.

Second, you must love all others in order to love all things and THE CREATOR.

A loving person will not engage in jealousy or envy.

A loving person will not kill.

A loving person is overly charitable.

A loving person endlessly forgives.

A loving person shows kindness to all.

Honor:

THE CREATOR of all things gave you honor so that you would know RESPECT.

You must honor all those that do good deeds.

An honorable person will not engage in greed.

Awareness:

THE CREATOR of all things gave you awareness so that you would know LIFE.

First, you must know yourself in order to know others.

Second, you must know all others in order to know all things and THE CREATOR.

You must seek knowledge and wisdom throughout your life so that you may achieve understanding.

A seeker of wisdom is diligent and temperate and therefore is not subject to gluttony or sloth because they understand the inherent dangers of each.

A seeker of wisdom is humble; being able to manage both fear and anger while recognizing pride.

My book:

Ms. Creant: The Wrong Doers!

Life with Women: the long awaited instruction manual.

Talks of relationships, health, life, biology, philosophy, sociology, theology, genetics- even physics as well as HOW CHANGE MUST HAPPEN SOON.

BE GOOD!

E. A.

Blog 16: TRUE LOVE and the key to keeping it alive.

The secret might just be never allowing COMPLACENCY to enter your relationship.

Easier said; THAN DONE!

 

TRUE LOVE, what is it?

That old couple sitting on a bench holding hands after a lifetime together- true love is in their eyes. He looks into her eyes and still sees the beauty that once was. She looks into his eyes and still sees the man who could raise her heart rate with a glance. She still makes him laugh and he still makes her feel safe.

My book looks at relationships in each decade in our lives. Teens with raging hormones learning about ATTRACTION; to twenty-somethings learning about SELECTION; on to the thirty-somethings learning about SETTLING and everything afterward to our final days.

The bio-chemistry of the pair bond is explained and science proves that it begins to sag after about two years, so true love must be more than the biological responses that kick-started the relationship.

TRUE LOVE begins with a GOOD MATCH.

Opposites may attract and each individual in the relationship may serve to offset the other’s negatives- creating a BALANCED COUPLE that is better and stronger together than individually.

However, these couples do not seem to be able to weather life’s storms, for as soon as the going gets tough and the couple is divided on an issue, the worst character traits of each surface often creating wounds that may never heal.

A good match will be less about initial ATTRACTION and more about quality SELECTION and SETTLING carefully. To accomplish this, you must TRULY KNOW the other.

COMMONALITY means that you will spend more time together as a couple, deriving enjoyment from the same things and you will have fewer things to argue about.

Over time this couple associates JOY with being in the company of their significant other. There is nowhere else that they would rather be. They are never bored. They have absolutely no reason to consider being unfaithful as they are SATISFIED on every level.

This may be how to BEGIN the journey to TRUE LOVE.

Take the test to see how you fair.

Upbringing:                                                                                       [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Education:                                                                                        [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Skill sets:                                                                                          [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Work ethic:                                                                                       [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Morals:                                                                                             [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Scruples:                                                                                          [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Personality Types:                                                                           [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Views on sex:                                                                                   [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Views on pets:                                                                                 [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Views on foods:                                                                               [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Views on children:                                                                           [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Views on lifestyle:                                                                            [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Views on physical health:                                                                [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Views on emotional health:                                                              [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Views on mental health:                                                                   [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Views on spiritual health:                                                                 [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Views on politics:                                                                             [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Views on society:                                                                             [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Views on mankind:                                                                          [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Views on the environment:                                                              [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Views on television programs:                                                         [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Views on film choices:                                                                      [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Views on music:                                                                               [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Views on live entertainment:                                                            [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Views on reading:                                                                            [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Views on sports:                                                                              [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

With the passage of time, the world changes people.

Question: How did that old couple holding hands on the bench, weather so many of life’s storms without allowing events to damage their relationship?

ANSWER: THEIR COMMONALITY ALWAYS PULLED THEM THROUGH!

This couple is capable of living in a tent, cooking canned foods on a camp stove with no money and yet they remain HAPPY to be there with each other.

They have FAITH in each other so they BELIEVE that things will improve.

They have the PATIENCE to wait for brighter days.

They TRUST that both will eventually succeed in their endeavors.

They RESPECT the chosen path of their partner.

Their partner is a PERFECT match for them.

Their partner never required CHANGE.

They never had EXPECTATIONS of their partner.

They ACKNOWLEDGE their own CHOICES.

They are GRATEFUL for their partner CHOOSING them.

They are CONTENT with the CHOICE they made.

They LEARNED and GREW together.

They KNOW how FORTUNATE they are.

They are THANKFUL for their luck.

They were incapable of MANIPULATING the other.

They never had to LIE to the other.

They never wanted to or needed to keep SECRETS from the other.

They were capable of total HONESTY with each other.

They APPRECIATE all things- big or small that their partner does for them.

They WORKED for and achieved TRUE LOVE because it was EASY for them due to COMMONALITY.

My book:

Ms. Creant: The Wrong Doers!

Life with Women: the long awaited instruction manual.

Talks of relationships, health, life, biology, philosophy, sociology, theology, genetics- even physics as well as HOW TRUE LOVE IS POSSIBLE IF YOU CHOOSE WISELY.

Happiness is for the brave among us.

You have to take some risks to achieve happiness.

You can minimize those risks by not thinking with your glands.

I TRULY LOVE my readers.

Have a great week and the next time you say “I LOVE YOU”; really mean it.

E. A.

Blog 15.3: Taboo Subjects:

Politics, Sex and Religion!

An age of enlightenment will have to include these talking points.

Part 3: Religion.

I have written more than my share on the topic of RELIGION.

It is not a favorite subject of mine.

It is discussed in my book as a component of good health that I would prefer to label: A PERSONAL BELIEF SYSTEM.

In Blog 6.2: The Fear Lessons, I expressed my displeasure with the moronic stupidity of American main-stream media and particularly, their complete and total lack of research resulting in a misrepresentation of Muslim beliefs.

I am not a Muslim- just a thorough researcher.

In Blog 6.3: The Fear Lessons. I connect the dots between FEAR MONGERING and RELIGIONS.

In Blog 8: A study in positivity. I make reference to souls and Christmas.

In Blog 10.1: I am salmon. Hear me gurgle? I quoted The Serenity Prayer- some of my favorite words of wisdom of all time. This blog delves into many religious concepts like destiny, Karma and reincarnation.

In Blog 10.2: I am salmon. Hear me gurgle? I make mention of the Dalai Lama- a person that I have tremendous respect for.

In Blog 12: “We are gonna need a bigger boat”. I again reference Karma.

In Blog 14: What really went down in The Garden of Eden? I give my comedic take on pre-history but felt the need to preface it- so as not to offend.

Now, this brings us to the final part of Blog 15.

If memory serves, I went to an Anglican church as a child. I was not happy about it. As a family we would get dressed up each Sunday and WALK to church in the hot sun having to wear a suit. My dress-shirt was usually soaked in sweat by the time we got there. I do not know if this was a religious thing or some weird Barker family thing but I concluded that this was dumb.

I liked old Reverend Harding but would rather be out playing with my friends that did not have to go to church. We had a meeting in his office where I challenged the factuality of the stories that I was being taught but the best that he could come back with was: “Sometimes we have to take things on faith.”

It was not a good enough response then and it is not a good enough response NOW!

Approximately 50% of my writing contains reference to religion. At first glance, the statistical numbers would seem to indicate that I am more SPIRITUAL than I let on.

I write about religion because I am concerned by how it is used to MANIPULATE POPULATIONS around the globe both in backward nations and scariest of all- in the most advanced nations of the world.

Escapism is a human trait it seems.

Alcohol abuse, drug use, sex and religion are all things that MAKE US FEEL BETTER FOR A WHILE- helping us to forget our troubles so that the world does not get the better of us. After a short break from REALITY, most humans can muster the strength to continue to STRIVE for something in a very tough world.

If you FEAR death, it is natural that you would want to SEEK ANSWERS to this great UNKNOWN.

  • All religions claim to have the answers but you must take a leap of FAITH.
  • Most require MONEY to prove that you are truly FAITHFUL.

If you BELIEVE you have an IMMORTAL SOUL that will one day reside in paradise, then the FEAR of dying weighs a little less heavily on your mind and you are COMFORTED.

  • Most religions claim that ONLY THEIR BELIEVERS will be allowed into paradise.
  • These religions will only help their fellow man IF THEY ARE OF THE SAME FAITH.

If you BELIEVE your deeds here on Earth will be JUDGED prior to being allowed entrance into paradise; you may try harder to avoid misdeeds and be a GOOD PERSON.

  • Being a GOOD PERSON has been spun by some religions to include MURDER and SUICIDE.

If you NEED FORGIVENESS, you can be ABSOLVED of your wickedness once a week so that you can live with your CONSCIENCE.

  • FOR A FEE you may go out into the world and screw over your fellow man for another six days- GUILT FREE!

If you NEED UNDERSTANDING, it is SOOTHING to BELIEVE that something greater than mankind is making bad stuff happen for a reason.

  • Humans crave RATIONALITY, LOGIC, ORDER and CONTROL, so when the irrational, illogical and chaotic events happen that are beyond our control we need CLOSURE.

I have researched many various religions and ALL have some GOOD MESSAGES for mankind.

I have leaned on MY PERSONAL BELIEF SYSTEM when life has become overwhelming and MY BELIEFS have allowed me to CONTINUE TO STRIVE.

I, like everyone else, do not have ANY ANSWERS to the big questions nor does ANY HUMAN.

Anyone that claims to, is full of shit!

WHAT I DO KNOW is that THE MAKER never intended for us to:

  • Use FEAR of HIM, HER or IT to MANIPULATE people.
  • Use FEAR of HIM, HER or IT to make a PROFIT.
  • Have a CHOSEN group of people that are somehow better that the rest.
  • Help only people of SIMILAR FAITHS.
  • KILL in HIS, HER OR ITS’ name.
  • PAY MONEY for absolution.

My book:

Ms. Creant: The Wrong Doers!

Life with Women: the long awaited instruction manual.

Talks of relationships, health, life, biology, philosophy, sociology, theology, genetics- even physics as well as HOW MANKIND IS ALMOST READY FOR A NEW AGE OF ENLIGHTENMENT IF WE CAN SURVIVE LONG ENOUGH TO SEE IT.

This was no fun again.

I hope that I am done with politics and religion.

Sex on the other hand, I will continue to write about as long as I live.

Have a great week and talk openly about whatever suits you at dinner parties.

E. A.