Antisocial Media: 10 Awesome Protocols Nobody Talks About

Rated R.

Warning: this content contains Reality. Reader discretion is advised.

Social media tips from an antisocial misanthrope?

You are definitely spending too much time online.

Tip 1: You must do what everyone does to be one of us. . .

one of us. . .

one of us. . .

These online “societies” have rules and will not welcome, nor do they tolerate, anyone lacking their level of sameness; yet nowhere are their expectations of your behaviour written down so you might quickly learn how best to conform. There is a reason for this.

Tip 2: They want you to fail.

They are eagerly awaiting their opportunity rant over your misstep whether you goof up publicly, among friends, in groups, or in private messages—for you have proved yourself an unfit miscreant who needs to be beaten back into submission, if not ostracized completely, in the hope shame will drive you back under the rock from whence you came.

Tip 3: Being “friended” on flakebook or “followed” on twatter should be considered an honour not to be taken lightly.

It means you can DM (Direct Message) an egotist anytime of night or day. WAIT! I’m just kidding. Back when PC’s were the tool of choice to hop on social media, this was okay, but now that smartphones dominate and control their owner’s every thought, they are rarely ever out of reach and almost never turned off, so the likelihood of waking someone up becomes very real. Besides, it’s way too early in the relationship to be talking privately. Take it slow; you’ll be able to show them your boobs or penis soon enough. You must build up to a DM by liking, sharing, and commenting on their posts for a period of not less than thirty days. Take it from me, this is how to get a narcissistic egotist turned on enough to get them naked.

Tip 4: Liking

There is a fine line between being a devoted follower and a stalker, and the line is different for everyone. I like to visit pages to see if people are really as uni-dimensional as social media algorithms make them appear—before I dump them. I am absolutely certain that on occasion, I have liked enough of their posts to be considered a creeper, but I don’t care. I’m a social media heretic. Don’t over-like or you may be cast out—leaving you no choice but to attempt to build an online relationship with people like me . . . and really, what are the chances you’ll make the cut?

Tip 5: Sharing

Twigger people want you to retweet their tweets so their thoughts might reach a wider audience. Conversely, fakebook people are often incensed when you “steal” their posts, which they found elsewhere on the internet all by themselves. Somehow, to them, searching for and saving a post grants them copyrighted proprietary ownership of a meme created by someone else. People have actually timidly asked me if it was okay to share posts I had already stolen from someone else on f-ckbook—so sweet, nice, and polite—I wonder if any of them survived this year’s slashing and burning of the deadwood?

Tip 6: Commenting

If you are following a hottie on social media, you will never get anywhere by telling them how gorgeous you think they are in their latest of a long string of half-naked selfies they just posted. The best you are likely to get for your effort is a liked comment. If you really want to have any chance of getting on their list of possible candidates for an online fling, you will have to follow them closely—a.k.a. stalk them—to find out where their passions truly lie.

Tip 7: Engagement:

In the olden days, engagement meant you had a fifty-fifty chance of getting some action. The same is true on social media. When you see them posting, it is a safe time to engage. Once you have stimulated your crush’s interest enough, by publicly commenting on their passion projects, or by feigning empathy and compassion when they are unhappy, they will begin to engage with you. This is public banter, flirting, or intellectual foreplay so it’s best to only be offering to stroke their ego at this point. Pretending to be truly fascinated by whatever you have been commenting back and forth about publicly, creates an opening to DM them with more private thoughts on the subject. Congratulations! You are alone with them. No, you can’t send nudes yet . . . unless they have confided the are lonely, drunk, and horny—even then, you should encourage them to go first. Most of the time, you will have to cultivate the relationship further before the sexting begins, but at least you can talk dirty a little. Remember, Mark Zuckerberg can watch the show, so you might want show some restraint.

Tip 8: Just the tip.

In this age of immediate gratification, there seems to be some added urgency placed on online sexual activity. It’s as though these participants are afraid their WiFi signal will be lost just as they are about to climax. Do they think they will never have another chance like this again, so they just get right down to business? Perhaps they are hiding in the washroom trying for a quickie behind the back of their significant other. Who really knows? You wouldn’t believe how many times I was flirting harmlessly—or so I thought—only to be gifted a spread eagle pussy pic with the classic two-finger labial parting stretch, when I was really just angling for a nipple pic. I’m not complaining, but a little bit of A to B to C makes it better. While I have only a dozen or so such experiences notched into my laptop, I feel it is safe to say: The younger the woman is, the quicker she will be whipping out the pussy. If I were to use a baseball analogy, they are getting a hit and running straight to third base.

Tip 9: Non-sexual DM’s?

I suppose a case can be made for such utilization of Messenger. I have some platonic online friends I chat with now and then, as well as a few business clients. The one thing I can tell everyone is: If you run a business of any kind, NO ONE wants to be pitched in Messenger. I’ve even been bitched at for sending people event invitations through Messenger. Apparently, the protocol is you must have chatted a little before any business can be discussed which goes back to what was said earlier about the cultivation of a relationship.

Tip 10: Wrapping it up.

There are a few redeeming aspects to online hookups:

  1. You don’t have to wrap it up. Apparently, computer viruses are not considered STD’s.
  2. You can have a wide variety of casual meaningless sexual encounters, but it’s best not to mention you do while it’s happening, if ever.
  3. For you cheaters out there, this is the safest, easiest, and most forgivable way of trying to satisfy the emptiness inside you.

As I inch ever closer to parting company with social media, with the exception of blogging, I try to find some highlights from the four plus years invested to take away with me. Aside from getting to know a handful of truly good people, only a couple of moments stand out. Years ago, I triggered a viral post with my comment which reached over 22,000 people. A short time later, I was one of a very few people Taylor Swift followed on twister. I thought it was kinda cool, and I used it to poke fun at, my then, semi-significant other who was, and likely still is, quite literally insane when jealous. Taylor, who I now laughingly refer to as “the bitch”, dumped me shortly after I tagged her in a tweet. She probably followed me by accident or expected me to behave like a guru with a PHD in psychology. I probably should have dick-pic’d her when I had the chance. The thought never occurred to me because enough famous female performers have already seen it—live, up close, and in a very personal way. Perhaps this is why I struggle to understand the males who engage in this behaviour and their reasoning behind perpetuating this phenomena.

Being “social” implies people are: approving, welcoming, approachable, jovial, and cordial.

I just do not see how this applies to social media sites.

 

Your Beliefs Create Your Reality: Part 1

America:

Division and the Falsehood of a Polarized Populace:

Throughout your entire life, you have been hearing about the futility of bucking the system. ‘You can’t fight City Hall.” are words we all have heard more than once. When we hear things again and again, we start to BELIEVE them. This causes you to accept this as a truism—a truth which is undeniable—so you, like your parents, teachers and role models, knuckle under and go with the flow, seeking what little happiness you can find in your short time here. IT IS BRAINWASHING designed to promote apathy. Conformists will tell you that everything I have ever stated here, or in some other writing, is an oversimplification of the problems which exist in America. In  doing this, they further the cause of apathy which is designed to maintain the status quo and to make you BELIEVE that change is too difficult and not worth the grief.

Change is not only achievable but simple if you BELIEVE it is possible.

When the media shows you examples of political activists from all over the world being arrested and wrongfully sentenced to ridiculously long periods of incarceration which do not justly fit their crimes, they are reinforcing the idea that you are better off towing the line. Meanwhile, the same media will, at best, dedicate only a few seconds of coverage from places like Standing Rock which clearly shows huge numbers of peaceful protesters rising up against the broken system. THIS TYPE OF BEHAVIOR IS NOT TO BE ENCOURAGED so they do not show it.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/indigenous/social-media-standing-rock-bridge-1.3861014

Again, this same media will spend a great deal of time with in-depth coverage of anything that can divide Americans. Fear mongering topics like race and religion are always top stories, followed closely by guns, abortion etc. NEVER DO THEY COVER WHAT AMERICANS NEED TO BE PAYING ATTENTION TO.

Topics like:

  • How the military industrial complex receives more tax dollars than education.
  • How the big pharmaceutical companies are charging many times more in America than anywhere else in the world.
  • How big oil and gas companies are reckless in their pursuit of new reserves to the detriment of safe drinking water and clean soil which sustain your food supply.
  • How none of the above pay taxes.
  • How endless cuts to social programs have historically always led to civil unrest and/or a society being plunged into chaos.

It is long overdue for Americans to decide on and BELIEVE in real lasting change.

  • Are you willing to continue to sacrifice the lives of your sons and daughters in the name of patriotism, in wars that do not bring prosperity, as the world’s policemen?
  • Are you willing to:continue to lose your loved ones just because you could not afford the necessary treatments?
  • Are you willing to pay the added costs to import all your drinking water and food?
  • Are you willing to continue to be thought of as a backward easily manipulated people?

If this is not your idea of a great nation, then there is something you can do about it, and it will not require a violent overthrow of your government.

Looking for commonality instead of difference is the key to the creation of a new political party which puts the needs of every American before all other concerns.

How to build a new political party quickly:

  1. There are Republicans who are ashamed of their party’s leadership. REACH OUT TO THEM and invite them to talks. THEY ARE READY FOR CHANGE!
  2. There are Democrats who do not like their party’s ties to Wall Street. Invite them to talks. THEY ARE READY FOR CHANGE!
  3. Create a grass roots platform of “… by the people, for the people.” where the party’s position on hotly contested issues are answered simply with: We will let the people of America decide this. Reform through referendum, accountability, and transparency, is a platform which can attract the best and brightest to the cause.If only 20% of card carrying Republicans and Democrats are willing to commit, you have a foundation for a new national Republicratic party. (Demolican? You might want to work on better names.)
  4. By speaking of equality, it will take little to bring the female vote here—especially after this current administration—but YOU MUST BEGIN BY REACHING OUT TO THE WOMEN OF AMERICA NOW to enlist their participation and support. Also in this fearful group are people of different ethnic backgrounds and people of non-Christian religious faiths. THEY ARE READY FOR CHANGE!
  5. Only 58% of eligible voters voted in 2016. There were abstainers on both sides who could not in good conscience vote for the presidential candidates their parties endorsed. There has always been about 25% of eligible voters who do not show up to the polls. They have been waiting for this party. REACH OUT TO THEM and invite them to talks. THEY ARE READY FOR CHANGE!

Fear is created where the seeds of ignorance are sown.

Let’s imagine you are just Joe or Jo Average American. You lead a busy life and may not follow politics or have any interest in becoming involved. You do your civic duty by voting and that is about it. This is completely okay. If you work and pay taxes, you are a model citizen. You watch the news and are worried by what you see happening elsewhere in your country. You probably wonder how long before it hits close to home. Creating this fear in you is the desired response of these news stories. You will willingly go along with any solution that the government claims will keep you and your family safe—including giving up some of your freedoms.

Statistics claim that 40% of Americans go to a house of worship every week, but the numbers vary wildly by state and by the type of religion. For the sake of this point, we are lumping you in with the devout.

So what can an average American do to keep their town safe from the coming anarchy?

  • Get guns? No.
  • Store up water and provisions? Not a bad precaution, but no.
  • Form a militia? You are getting warm, but no.

The answer is to reinforce your community.

  • Concrete barricades and bunkers? No.
  • Machine gun emplacements? No.

community   noun   Fellowship, being alike in some way.

Just about everyone living in your community is ALIKE in that you all share the same fears of violence and persecution. You must REACH OUT to everyone in your community that you have been conditioned to fear. Believe me, they have been conditioned to fear you too.

Only through communication can a safe community be created.

Not fearing your neighbors is a beginning.

  • Church groups can be formed and plans made to visit all the different houses of worship in your community. In doing this, you begin to tear down the myths and stereotypes spun in the media about people whose BELIEFS are not as different from your own as you might think. Takes on religious stories aside, they want peace, safety and security for their families too. It is almost guaranteed you will receive a warm welcome, and you might make some new friends in these travels.
  • Joining local business associations is another way to get to know members of your community. Again, sharing concerns about the security of your businesses can make for some commonality among business owners in your community.
  • Joining the PTA or being a part of after school programs is a great way to get to know your neighbors who also have children. They have all the same parenting problems that you do and sometimes more, if they are attempting to raise their child in the ways of two different cultures.
  • Getting involved in charitable and community events are a couple of other ways to form these new friendships.

Friendships imply a modicum of mutually assured security in a community. It has been proven in the Middle East, but the media does not show you stories such as these.

Polarization is difficult to cultivate where truth exists.

America is known as the “home of the brave” so be brave America, and go get to know the neighbors you are being told to fear. The relationships you forge may be your community’s best defense.

 

This is the new theme for the 2017 blog series.

I hope you like it.

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Ms. Creant: The Wrong Doers! is a non-fiction book chronicling one man’s somewhat humorous journey to understand women, relationships, life, society and civilization.

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ISBNs

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