A Holiday Message

My present fron Kat

Times are tough.

There is a great deal of uncertainty at the very least, if not fear or outright paranoia in our world at the moment.

Please try to reign in these thoughts–especially over the holidays.

If you are able to read this on-line, it most likely means you can afford devices and services which connect you to this on-line world. This also implies that your immediate security needs of shelter, food, and clothing have also been met. Be grateful for what you have as there are a great many others who are not as fortunate and who will not be able to read this.

The holidays are a time for giving–our way of expressing love, caring and thanks to people we know.

Even strangers tend to treat us a little better at this time of year. They might smile as they hold a door for us when we have both of our hands full of shopping bags. Our preoccupation with finishing the damnable shopping, so that we can jump back into the hustle and bustle of the season, might make us overlook this tiny kind gesture. Seize the moment to look them in the eye and say thank you and wish them a happy holiday. It might be the only present they receive this year.

The holiday season puts increased demands on our time because of all the commitments we make to family and friends. This causes us to be stressed and possibly irritable. We need to remember that we are fortunate to have those friends and family members with us, as many others may not.

Some people will not be able to travel to see their friends and family this year. They may feel very alone. They can change that by volunteering their time to a cause they believe in. Many worthwhile causes do not close during the holidays and spending time with the other volunteers will almost certainly turn into new friendships.

We pick up the holiday spirit by being compassionate. Give some canned goods to the food bank, give some blankets to a shelter or contribute to your local toy drive. The smallest things make a difference in this world. We often forget this. We do not have to solve global warming to improve the planet; the kid who receives your toy this year might be destined to do that–if they are not emotionally scarred by Santa missing their home. This is how we are all connected.

Goodness spreads like a virus through all walks of life, across all religions, and it does not see the color of someones skin or their gender. By spreading that which we know to be good, we spread hope. The hope we create can alter the path of another.

This almost certainly will be my last blog post for a while.

I wish to extend my gratitude to all of you who follow me on social media. To you, and everyone you care about, I wish you a safe and happy holiday season.

E. A.

 

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TRUE LOVE and the keys to keeping it alive: 27 important questions you must answer before falling in love.

The secret might just be never allowing COMPLACENCY to enter your relationship.

Easier said; THAN DONE!

 

TRUE LOVE, what is it?

That old couple sitting on a bench holding hands after a lifetime together- true love is in their eyes. He looks into her eyes and still sees the beauty that once was. She looks into his eyes and still sees the man who could raise her heart rate with a glance. She still makes him laugh and he still makes her feel safe.

My book looks at relationships in each decade in our lives. Teens with raging hormones learning about ATTRACTION; to twenty-somethings learning about SELECTION; on to the thirty-somethings learning about SETTLING and everything afterward to our final days.

The bio-chemistry of the pair bond is explained and science proves that it begins to sag after about two years, so true love must be more than the biological responses that kick-started the relationship.

TRUE LOVE begins with a GOOD MATCH.

Opposites may attract and each individual in the relationship may serve to offset the other’s negatives- creating a BALANCED COUPLE that is better and stronger together than individually.

However, these couples do not seem to be able to weather life’s storms, for as soon as the going gets tough and the couple is divided on an issue, the worst character traits of each surface often creating wounds that may never heal.

A good match will be less about initial ATTRACTION and more about quality SELECTION and SETTLING carefully. To accomplish this, you must TRULY KNOW the other.

COMMONALITY means that you will spend more time together as a couple, deriving enjoyment from the same things and you will have fewer things to argue about.

Over time this couple associates JOY with being in the company of their significant other. There is nowhere else that they would rather be. They are never bored. They have absolutely no reason to consider being unfaithful as they are SATISFIED on every level.

This may be how to BEGIN the journey to TRUE LOVE.

Take the test to see how you fair.

Upbringing:                                                                                       [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Education:                                                                                        [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Skill sets:                                                                                          [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Work ethic:                                                                                       [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Morals:                                                                                             [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Scruples:                                                                                          [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Personality Types:                                                                           [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Views on sex:                                                                                   [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Views on pets:                                                                                 [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Views on foods:                                                                               [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Views on children:                                                                           [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Views on lifestyle:                                                                            [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Views on physical health:                                                                [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Views on emotional health:                                                              [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Views on mental health:                                                                   [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Views on spiritual health:                                                                 [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Views on politics:                                                                             [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Views on society:                                                                             [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Views on mankind:                                                                          [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Views on the environment:                                                              [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Views on television programs:                                                         [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Views on film choices:                                                                      [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Views on music:                                                                               [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Views on live entertainment:                                                            [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Views on reading:                                                                            [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

Views on sports:                                                                              [  ] Similar       [  ] Different

With the passage of time, the world changes people.

Question: How did that old couple holding hands on the bench, weather so many of life’s storms without allowing events to damage their relationship?

ANSWER: THEIR COMMONALITY ALWAYS PULLED THEM THROUGH!

This couple is capable of living in a tent, cooking canned foods on a camp stove with no money and yet they remain HAPPY to be there with each other.

They have FAITH in each other so they BELIEVE that things will improve.

They have the PATIENCE to wait for brighter days.

They TRUST that both will eventually succeed in their endeavors.

They RESPECT the chosen path of their partner.

Their partner is a PERFECT match for them.

Their partner never required CHANGE.

They never had EXPECTATIONS of their partner.

They ACKNOWLEDGE their own CHOICES.

They are GRATEFUL for their partner CHOOSING them.

They are CONTENT with the CHOICE they made.

They LEARNED and GREW together.

They KNOW how FORTUNATE they are.

They are THANKFUL for their luck.

They were incapable of MANIPULATING the other.

They never had to LIE to the other.

They never wanted to or needed to keep SECRETS from the other.

They were capable of total HONESTY with each other.

They APPRECIATE all things- big or small that their partner does for them.

They WORKED for and achieved TRUE LOVE because it was EASY for them due to COMMONALITY.

My book:

Ms. Creant: The Wrong Doers!

Life with Women: the long awaited instruction manual.

Talks of relationships, health, life, biology, philosophy, sociology, theology, genetics- even physics as well as HOW TRUE LOVE IS POSSIBLE IF YOU CHOOSE WISELY.

Happiness is for the brave among us.

You have to take some risks to achieve happiness.

You can minimize those risks by not thinking with your glands.

I TRULY LOVE my readers.

Have a great week and the next time you say “I LOVE YOU”; really mean it.

E. A.

Taboo Subjects: Religion

Politics, Sex and Religion!

An age of enlightenment will have to include these talking points.

woman holding books
Photo by JJ Jordan on Pexels.com

 

I have written more than my share on the topic of RELIGION.

It is not a favorite subject of mine.

It is discussed in my book as a component of good health that I would prefer to label: A PERSONAL BELIEF SYSTEM.

In Blog 6.2: The Fear Lessons, I expressed my displeasure with the moronic stupidity of American main-stream media and particularly, their complete and total lack of research resulting in a misrepresentation of Muslim beliefs.

I am not a Muslim- just a thorough researcher.

In Blog 6.3: The Fear Lessons. I connect the dots between FEAR MONGERING and RELIGIONS.

In Blog 8: A study in positivity. I make reference to souls and Christmas.

In Blog 10.1: I am salmon. Hear me gurgle? I quoted The Serenity Prayer- some of my favorite words of wisdom of all time. This blog delves into many religious concepts like destiny, Karma and reincarnation.

In Blog 10.2: I am salmon. Hear me gurgle? I make mention of the Dalai Lama- a person that I have tremendous respect for.

In Blog 12: “We are gonna need a bigger boat”. I again reference Karma.

In Blog 14: What really went down in The Garden of Eden? I give my comedic take on pre-history but felt the need to preface it- so as not to offend.

Now, this brings us to the final part of Blog 15.

If memory serves, I went to an Anglican church as a child. I was not happy about it. As a family we would get dressed up each Sunday and WALK to church in the hot sun having to wear a suit. My dress-shirt was usually soaked in sweat by the time we got there. I do not know if this was a religious thing or some weird Barker family thing but I concluded that this was dumb.

I liked old Reverend Harding but would rather be out playing with my friends that did not have to go to church. We had a meeting in his office where I challenged the factuality of the stories that I was being taught but the best that he could come back with was: “Sometimes we have to take things on faith.”

It was not a good enough response then and it is not a good enough response NOW!

Approximately 50% of my writing contains reference to religion. At first glance, the statistical numbers would seem to indicate that I am more SPIRITUAL than I let on.

I write about religion because I am concerned by how it is used to MANIPULATE POPULATIONS around the globe both in backward nations and scariest of all- in the most advanced nations of the world.

Escapism is a human trait it seems.

Alcohol abuse, drug use, sex and religion are all things that MAKE US FEEL BETTER FOR A WHILE- helping us to forget our troubles so that the world does not get the better of us. After a short break from REALITY, most humans can muster the strength to continue to STRIVE for something in a very tough world.

If you FEAR death, it is natural that you would want to SEEK ANSWERS to this great UNKNOWN.

  • All religions claim to have the answers but you must take a leap of FAITH.
  • Most require MONEY to prove that you are truly FAITHFUL.

If you BELIEVE you have an IMMORTAL SOUL that will one day reside in paradise, then the FEAR of dying weighs a little less heavily on your mind and you are COMFORTED.

  • Most religions claim that ONLY THEIR BELIEVERS will be allowed into paradise.
  • These religions will only help their fellow man IF THEY ARE OF THE SAME FAITH.

If you BELIEVE your deeds here on Earth will be JUDGED prior to being allowed entrance into paradise; you may try harder to avoid misdeeds and be a GOOD PERSON.

  • Being a GOOD PERSON has been spun by some religions to include MURDER and SUICIDE.

If you NEED FORGIVENESS, you can be ABSOLVED of your wickedness once a week so that you can live with your CONSCIENCE.

  • FOR A FEE you may go out into the world and screw over your fellow man for another six days- GUILT FREE!

If you NEED UNDERSTANDING, it is SOOTHING to BELIEVE that something greater than mankind is making bad stuff happen for a reason.

  • Humans crave RATIONALITY, LOGIC, ORDER and CONTROL, so when the irrational, illogical and chaotic events happen that are beyond our control we need CLOSURE.

I have researched many various religions and ALL have some GOOD MESSAGES for mankind.

I have leaned on MY PERSONAL BELIEF SYSTEM when life has become overwhelming and MY BELIEFS have allowed me to CONTINUE TO STRIVE.

I, like everyone else, do not have ANY ANSWERS to the big questions nor does ANY HUMAN.

Anyone that claims to, is full of shit!

WHAT I DO KNOW is that THE MAKER never intended for us to:

  • Use FEAR of HIM, HER or IT to MANIPULATE people.
  • Use FEAR of HIM, HER or IT to make a PROFIT.
  • Have a CHOSEN group of people that are somehow better that the rest.
  • Help only people of SIMILAR FAITHS.
  • KILL in HIS, HER OR ITS’ name.
  • PAY MONEY for absolution.

My book:

Ms. Creant: The Wrong Doers!

Life with Women: the long awaited instruction manual.

Talks of relationships, health, life, biology, philosophy, sociology, theology, genetics- even physics as well as HOW MANKIND IS ALMOST READY FOR A NEW AGE OF ENLIGHTENMENT IF WE CAN SURVIVE LONG ENOUGH TO SEE IT.

This was no fun again.

I hope that I am done with politics and religion.

Sex on the other hand, I will continue to write about as long as I live.

Have a great week and talk openly about whatever suits you at dinner parties.

E. A.

A Study In Positivity

Having spotted a blog group looking for “positive” messages, I will attempt to put a positive spin on everything I write in this blog.

I am too pragmatic to do rainbows, daffodils, unicorns, and Zen. I do not know if this will make their cut. It is a challenge for me being a student of human nature. As such, I all too often see the glaring negatives of mankind without acknowledging the more subtle positives. I suppose I take the easier path that pairs well with my attempts at sardonic witticisms. Sarcasm is a tool used by comedians and writers alike to make light of serious subjects, but for the purposes of this blog, I have to explore humanity’s “up-side” and that just may end up being good for me.

To a poor unpublished author, a blog becomes an outlet for pent up frustration so I will not go out and buy the assault rifle I sometimes wish I owned.

Upside 1:

Not all sociopaths carry out attacks on their fellow humans.

A personal philosophy which has yet to be disproved goes like this: 33.3% of the world’s population are genuinely good people with good hearts. 33.3 percent of the population are evil malevolent creatures; and the remaining 33.3% can waffle from one side to the other on any given day.

Upside 2:

Therefore we can extrapolate there must be days when almost FOUR BILLION people on Earth are doing good things for their fellow man and the planet.

Place a new-born baby in the hands of the most case-hardened worldly-wise man and you will see the inspiration for How the Grinch Stole Christmas. His heart will grow ten sizes in that moment as he gazes at the little creature who is totally innocent; a blank slate and free of evil. This subconsciously engages his protective instincts. Not to be sexist, if it we substitute out man for woman in the above, chances are that subconsciously she will find her nurturing side bubbling to the surface.

Upside 3:

Almost all humans, regardless of the hand life has dealt them, are capable of having their soul touched by innocence, goodness, and joy as we naturally covet these attributes.

On the subject of the more politically correctly named “Holiday Season”, in the G8 countries at least, Christmas carols and old holiday season songs are infectious—playing on the human desire for peace, joy, and our yearning for simpler times. People smile a little more easily and they are a little nicer to strangers despite the hustle and bustle of crass consumerism, and the plethora of social obligations. I was hoping to report that crime rates fell as a result of “good cheer”, however the statistics indicate there is a huge increase in alcohol consumption which netted an over-all increase in the crime rate.

Upside 4:

For a week or so each year people are generally nicer to each other, even though it appears to be alcohol induced.

In a world filled with stupidity, waste, and evil there are continual stories of “random acts of kindness” from around the globe which is evidence of them being a natural human trait. Humans have the capacity for sympathy and empathy which when taken to extremes, can manifest into tremendous acts of bravery and sacrifice. There are countless stories, especially in conflicts, where someone laid down their life to save another. The person who made the sacrifice, did so in the belief the person they were saving was indeed worthy of their sacrifice.

Upside 5:

The person saved feels a huge burden of responsibility to the one who sacrificed him or herself.

They feel they must live a good life from that point forward in an effort to be worthy of the one who saw something in them worth saving . . . even if the saved individual could not see it in themselves at the time. Better humans are created through “random acts of kindness” whether they witness a supreme sacrifice or a minor one.

Love:

We all want it. Few can hang on to it.

Those without it are jealous and envious of those who flaunt having it. Young love is rarely more than a hormonal overdose. {The following are excerpts from my book Ms. Creant: The Wrong Doers!} DOPAMINE is the love hormone. Just seeing the one you think you love will cause its production. It is interesting that its production naturally sags after approximately two years with the same person. If you want to “Bring back that loving feeling…” boost intake of vitamin B6 and magnesium. PEA- (Phenylethylamine) has been nick-named the “Molecule of Love” and the “Love Drug”. Found in chocolate and your brain, this organic compound creates the stirrings of sexual excitement including that rise in heart rate that we all have felt. Studies indicate that the onset of DEPRESSION may be due to decreased concentrations of PEA.

Upside 6:

When I see an old couple holding hands on a bench after living a lifetime of hardships together, it proves the existence of true love.

It is more than companionship. It is loyalty, trust, mutual respect and a sparkle in their eyes when they look at one another that is eternal. SOUL MATES ARE REAL.

Artistic types are typically more damaged, flakier, more anti-social, and more oblivious, but they can also be more talented and more cerebral than the average human.

Upside 7:

If there is any part of humanity that could warrant our continued existence, it is our capacity to appreciate and create beauty.

Film, photography, paintings, sculptures, theatre, music and literature occasionally capture or help us to envision the stunning and wondrous.

“Pay it forward.” or “One good turn deserves another.” are proven concepts that may define humans. We all live in a hell of our own making, but when we stop feeling sorry for ourselves just long enough to smile or hold a door open for another, we prove that we do not belong in such a place; and that we are capable and worthy of existing on a higher level.

Hope leads to belief;

Belief leads to optimism;

Optimism leads to learning;

Learning leads to wisdom;

Wisdom leads to growth;

Growth leads to increased hope.

IT IS A CIRCLE!