Your Beliefs Create Your Reality. Part 8

Are “solid” people disappearing?

I know that if I choose to BELIEVE this, the universe will conspire to make this my REALITY so I fight this negative thought despite the overwhelming mounting evidence which seems to surround me. If I were to make this a personal belief, it could forever change me into someone I do not like. I could become bitter, resentful, and wary of the intentions of the people I meet. Truth be known, I am wary. I accept this about myself and simply view it as a defense mechanism―a result of living a long life among other humans.

What is a “solid” person?

Everyone will have a slightly different answer depending on their life experiences and their personal code of conduct which reflects how well developed their super-ego is. Freud first used this term almost one hundred years ago to describe the part of us that is supposed to moderate the wants of our id and ego. Some call it a moral center or compass, but it is also made up of the ethics and scruples taught to us which are also key components to a conscience. When we assess whether or not a person is “solid”, we are JUDGING them based on our own set of values.

People usually want to surround themselves with people possessing similar values but we cannot expect others in our social circles to live up to the standards we set for ourselves or else we set ourselves up for disappointment―a mistake I keep making.

I set very high achievable standards for myself, even though those standards often require a significant effort on my part in order to clear the bar. I have always wanted to be a good person―a “solid” person. When I was young and naive, just a couple of years ago, I actually thought most people wanted the same for themselves. However, life has a way of showing you just how wrong you can be.

Traits of “solid” people:

  1. They are honorable. Their word is their bond. It means everything to them.
  2. They care. They will drop everything to help a friend, loved one or even strangers.
  3. They give. They are grateful to be in a position to help.
  4. They remember everyone who ever helped them.
  5. They have your back. They know your worth. They stand up for you when gossips attempt to assassinate your character when you are not around.

I am fortunate to have a few such people in my life. Sadly, the number has dwindled over the years as the true nature of some fair weather types was finally revealed to me. If we are to use the above list to JUDGE others, we absolutely cannot fail someone for not achieving a perfect score. There are caring, giving, appreciative people who just cannot keep commitments they make, usually because they lack the organizational skills to keep track of their lives. While these good people may not live up to our Utopian expectations, they are nonetheless well meaning. They will frustrate us when they fail to come through on time, but the point is . . .  they do come through eventually.

Some say: “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

If we must KEEP SCORE in order to gauge the quality of these relationships, I believe we should measure intentions vs. deeds expressed as a ratio. You can very quickly separate the talkers from the walkers in this way.

If you are over forty and have to deal with millennials or younger people on a regular basis, you will be frustrated by what appears to be a total lack of honor―where their word means nothing. Give them time. Eventually they will see the importance of being honorable. Until then, keep an eye on their intentions vs. deeds ratio before you say they are not solid.

 

 

Blog 17: The Irrational Rationality.

HUMANS CAN RATIONALIZE ANYTHING.

Somewhere along the way, I was researching the various religious faiths that showed the number of followers for each. When I added them all together the number came to around 4 BILLION or 66% of the globes population. With that many do-gooders on the planet, you would think that the world would be a much better place than it is.

Here is why Earth is not a paradise.

HUMANS DO NOT PAY ENOUGH ATTENTION TO DIRECTIONS.

HUMANS RATIONALIZE DIRECTIVES INTO GUIDELINES.

HUMANS RE-THINK, RE-WORK AND RE-INTERPRET RATIONAL DIRECTIVES TO SUIT THEIR OWN IRRATIONAL AGENDAS.

More than half of the world’s population is familiar with the following section and most have at least heard of the other lists that follow.

“The TEN COMMANDMENTS”:

I am listing the version that I was taught as a child and will comment on some of the more significant RATIONALIZED versions that are being taught. The order that they are presented has been changed over the years by different religions.

“Thou shalt have no other gods before me.”

“Thou shalt make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. Thou shalt not bow down to them: …”

“Thou shalt take the name of the Lord thy God in vain; …”

“Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.”

“Honour thy father and thy mother.”

“Thou shalt not kill.” This has been changed quite significantly to “Thou shalt not murder.” by some.

“Thou shalt not commit adultery.”

“Thou shalt not steal.”

“Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.”

“Thou shalt not covet… any thing that is thy neighbor’s.”

HOW DID YOU SCORE?

I passed the first two with flying colours. I failed on the third and forth. I passed the fifth and sixth. I passed the seventh using the RATIONALE that I have never been “technically” married. I failed on the eighth, passed the ninth and probably failed the tenth at some point in time.

I have a solid 5 with perhaps as high as 7 out of 10. I can RATIONALIZE that this is NOT BAD.

TEN was just too big for humans to comprehend and with so many it created too many disputes about how to interpret them.

Apparently, Jesus felt the need to summarize the ten down to two big ones.

The Two Great Commandments:

“You shall love the LORD your GOD with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.”

“You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

I am 1 for 2 here.

The Catholic religion added some ideas that are worth of a look.

“The Seven Deadly Sins”:

Lust:               Definitely guilty.

Greed:            I do not think so.

Gluttony:        On occasion.

Envy:              Definitely guilty.

Anger:            Definitely guilty.

Pride:              Probably.

Sloth:              Definitely as a teen.

So I will RATIONALIZE that on a lifetime basis, I scored only a 1 out of 7 but on a daily basis, currently I typically run at only one sin per day so the score looks much better at 6 out of 7. NOT BAD AT ALL.

I guess they realized that nobody was scoring well with the sins list, so they added to it. By allowing followers to RATIONALIZE that they were not all that bad- they would leave church feeling better about themselves.

The better the church made them feel about themselves, the more the followers attended, and the more donations the church received.

“The Seven Heavenly (Capital) Virtues”:

Chastity:                    Not self-imposed.

Temperance:             Yes.

Charity:                      Yes

Diligence:                  Yes

Forgiveness:             Yes, but there is room for improvement.

Kindness:                  Yes

Humility:                    Yes but again there is room for improvement.

So again, I will RATIONALIZE that I scored at least 4 out of 7 and maybe as high as 6 out of 7 depending on the harshness of the evaluator- PRETTY GOOD.

In conclusion I will RATIONALIZE that I am a virtuous sinner.

My overall averaged lifetime score according to religion is 13 for 26. They do not make it clear what a passing grade is though.

I could go PAY to be ABSOLVED of some sins to improve my numbers as many people do; but that is not my way. I will let my record stand for itself.

Now let us explore the ultimate in HUMAN IRRATIONAL RATIONALIZATION.

“Thou shalt not kill.”

This has been changed quite significantly to:

“Thou shalt not murder.”

This one needed modification almost immediately.

How can you have a war, especially a religious war or a religion sanctioned war without killing?

Humans RATIONALIZED that killing each other was necessary.

Humans RATIONALIZED that killing is not the same as murder.

Humans RATIONALIZED that the soldiers and peace officers of the world NEED TO KILL in order to benefit CIVILIZATION.

Of course we cannot have a COMMANDMENT that makes them feel GUILTY for following orders and defending themselves.

FOR 3465 YEARS THIS HAS BEEN THE WAY OF HUMAN CIVILIZATION, and look how well things are going thanks to RATIONALIZATION.

HUMANS NEED SIMPLICITY!

We need a set of guidelines that CANNOT BE MISINTERPRETED TO RATIONALIZE MISDEEDS.

A new release of a greatest hits package could look like this:

The ONE COMMANDMENT:

“BE GOOD.”

A person that possesses conscience, love, honor and awareness is GOOD.

Conscience:

THE CREATOR of all things gave you conscience so that you would know RIGHT from WRONG on a spiritual level.

If you choose misdeeds and ignore your conscience, you will not have a good life.

A conscionable person will not engage in immoral acts.

A conscionable person will not engage in unscrupulous acts.

Love:

THE CREATOR of all things gave you love so that you would know JOY.

First, you must love yourself in order to love others.

Second, you must love all others in order to love all things and THE CREATOR.

A loving person will not engage in jealousy or envy.

A loving person will not kill.

A loving person is overly charitable.

A loving person endlessly forgives.

A loving person shows kindness to all.

Honor:

THE CREATOR of all things gave you honor so that you would know RESPECT.

You must honor all those that do good deeds.

An honorable person will not engage in greed.

Awareness:

THE CREATOR of all things gave you awareness so that you would know LIFE.

First, you must know yourself in order to know others.

Second, you must know all others in order to know all things and THE CREATOR.

You must seek knowledge and wisdom throughout your life so that you may achieve understanding.

A seeker of wisdom is diligent and temperate and therefore is not subject to gluttony or sloth because they understand the inherent dangers of each.

A seeker of wisdom is humble; being able to manage both fear and anger while recognizing pride.

My book:

Ms. Creant: The Wrong Doers!

Life with Women: the long awaited instruction manual.

Talks of relationships, health, life, biology, philosophy, sociology, theology, genetics- even physics as well as HOW CHANGE MUST HAPPEN SOON.

BE GOOD!

E. A.