Your Beliefs Create Your Reality. Part 8

Are “solid” people disappearing?

I know that if I choose to BELIEVE this, the universe will conspire to make this my REALITY so I fight this negative thought despite the overwhelming mounting evidence which seems to surround me. If I were to make this a personal belief, it could forever change me into someone I do not like. I could become bitter, resentful, and wary of the intentions of the people I meet. Truth be known, I am wary. I accept this about myself and simply view it as a defense mechanism―a result of living a long life among other humans.

What is a “solid” person?

Everyone will have a slightly different answer depending on their life experiences and their personal code of conduct which reflects how well developed their super-ego is. Freud first used this term almost one hundred years ago to describe the part of us that is supposed to moderate the wants of our id and ego. Some call it a moral center or compass, but it is also made up of the ethics and scruples taught to us which are also key components to a conscience. When we assess whether or not a person is “solid”, we are JUDGING them based on our own set of values.

People usually want to surround themselves with people possessing similar values but we cannot expect others in our social circles to live up to the standards we set for ourselves or else we set ourselves up for disappointment―a mistake I keep making.

I set very high achievable standards for myself, even though those standards often require a significant effort on my part in order to clear the bar. I have always wanted to be a good person―a “solid” person. When I was young and naive, just a couple of years ago, I actually thought most people wanted the same for themselves. However, life has a way of showing you just how wrong you can be.

Traits of “solid” people:

  1. They are honorable. Their word is their bond. It means everything to them.
  2. They care. They will drop everything to help a friend, loved one or even strangers.
  3. They give. They are grateful to be in a position to help.
  4. They remember everyone who ever helped them.
  5. They have your back. They know your worth. They stand up for you when gossips attempt to assassinate your character when you are not around.

I am fortunate to have a few such people in my life. Sadly, the number has dwindled over the years as the true nature of some fair weather types was finally revealed to me. If we are to use the above list to JUDGE others, we absolutely cannot fail someone for not achieving a perfect score. There are caring, giving, appreciative people who just cannot keep commitments they make, usually because they lack the organizational skills to keep track of their lives. While these good people may not live up to our Utopian expectations, they are nonetheless well meaning. They will frustrate us when they fail to come through on time, but the point is . . .  they do come through eventually.

Some say: “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

If we must KEEP SCORE in order to gauge the quality of these relationships, I believe we should measure intentions vs. deeds expressed as a ratio. You can very quickly separate the talkers from the walkers in this way.

If you are over forty and have to deal with millennials or younger people on a regular basis, you will be frustrated by what appears to be a total lack of honor―where their word means nothing. Give them time. Eventually they will see the importance of being honorable. Until then, keep an eye on their intentions vs. deeds ratio before you say they are not solid.

 

 

Are You Going To Book Expo / BookCon 2017?

book evpo contest

book con contest

The Official Ms. Creant Website Is Up

There is something for everyone!

  • Readers

  • Librarians

  • Educators

  • Parents

  • Booksellers

  • Book Clubs

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Welcome!

The Journey Begins Here.

MsCreant.EABarker.com

cover-front-final-jpeg-sept-1-web-small

Ms. Creant: The Wrong Doers!

Life With Women: The Long-Awaited Instruction Manual

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A reader need only have an open mind to enjoy Ms. Creant.

Readers also possessing a sense of humor, will love it.

Blurb:

This book was created for everyone from young adults to seniors. It was written from a male’s point of view, speaking to men who are endlessly struggling to understand the opposite sex. For women, this is a fascinating journey inside the male psyche. The book gives a young reader a glimpse of the future, with a recommended timeline for key life events. Mature readers, who have already experienced much of what is discussed in the book, should come away with a new found understanding, and perhaps even closure. Ms. Creant is a controversial, entertaining, yet informative look at everything which influences human behaviour including: relationships, life, health, biology, philosophy, sociology, theology, politics, genetics—even physics. E. A. Barker shares twenty-four “inappropriate” stories of life with women. The author based these stories of women behaving badly on his real life experiences, spanning four decades of his search for an ideal partner. The lessons taken away from the book will serve to help readers make better choices, become more aware, grow and change—at any stage of life.

About the intended reader and a caution:

Ms. Creant was written by a man, from a man’s perspective, for men, and those soon to become men. Yes, many women have embraced the book as well, but it is doubtful any young female teenagers are likely to be handed a copy. It is difficult to state the exact age a young man should begin to explore the realities which lay ahead for him, so my first thought was to say age thirteen—the sooner the better. HOWEVER, I recommend we err on the side of caution. The book contains adult situations and sarcasm that the youngest readers may not comprehend without adult guidance to give them some clarification. This could cause an important message to be lost on them, or worse, they may embrace the poor behaviors illustrated. There are both young men and boys in the age range between thirteen and fifteen with significant variations in maturity levels found throughout the group. We can safely state that a young man is ready for Ms. Creant when he has experienced any of the following life events:

  • He has a poor attitude towards school.
  • He has been rejected by a girl.
  • He has a girlfriend.
  • He has had his first sexual encounter.
  • He has had his first heartbreak.
  • He has been caught with alcohol or drugs.

The important messages contained in Ms. Creant:

  • WHO you become is more important than WHAT you become.
  • Make smart choices.
  • Be aware of yourself and your possible futures.
  • You must always have a plan.
  • Stay in school.
  • Say no to drugs.
  • Practice safe sex.
  • How to recognize and keep you and your friends away from a date rape scenario.
  • Never stop working on self-improvement.
  • Completing a post-secondary education is a must.
  • There will be time for serious relationships once you have completed your education.
  • Chase your dream.
  • Choose to be happy.
  • See things as they are—not as you would like them to be.
  • Learn to recognize your own behavioral patterns.
  • We must rethink how we are raising our daughters.
  • The difference between sex and love.
  • Equality is achievable when we stop trying to manipulate each other.
  • Settle wisely.
  • Balance and communication are the key elements of a successful relationship.
  • Behaviors to avoid if you want to remain faithful.
  • How to survive the end of a serious relationship.
  • Understand menopause—it happens to all humans.
  • You can change anything and at any age.
  • To be completely healthy is to supply nutrition to all four parts of your being.
  • If you are pragmatic and grateful, death need not be scary.
  • Unbiased moral teachings might save humanity.
  • Parents must teach what the schools are not.
  • All sociological problems are directly linked to literacy.
  • Fear spreads quickly when rational thought is not present.
  • Political correctness is undermining freedom of speech—the communication of ideas—retarding humanity’s growth.
  • Working to become the best person you can be will make you a role model—an influencer—for others yet to come.

Ms. Creant is a relatively light look at the human condition.

Why was Ms. Creant written?

This was my attempt to change a world which becomes more distressing with each passing day.

By writing about many of the most difficult issues facing mankind with a pinch of humor, it was my hope that a conversation would be started which could spread awareness.

  • Men need a better understanding of both themselves and women.
  • Women need a better understanding of both themselves and men.
  • Both sexes need to see the world for what it is if we are to create change.
  • Continuing to live obliviously in a dream or a bubble made tolerable by escapism will not adequately prepare your children and grandchildren for the challenges they will face as these last two generations attempt to save humanity.
  • We cannot allow the goal of true equality to be corrupted by political correctness or reverse discrimination.
  • The patriarchy that has been with us for the past 5,000 years must be left behind.

Our present educational systems encourage ACCEPTANCE of what is thought to be known rather than the exploration of the subject matter which could bring about a paradigm shift.

The most fundamental teachings of philosophy—learning WHO we should strive to become—is no longer valued. Morality, ethics, and scruples are now increasingly rare traits found in the people we meet.

Most societies in the West have CONFORMED to the destructive and soon to be fatal ideology of economics based thinking. By placing a higher value on the words uttered by celebrities, the wealthy, religious zealots, and sports heroes than we do the words of the most brilliant minds, we are accelerating the fall of Western civilization.

We are teaching a watered down version of history, INFLUENCED by political and religious agendas, which focuses our attention on names, dates and places, instead of the more important causes and effects which led to wars and the fall of various civilizations throughout recorded time.

There are four interconnected elements which can adversely affect the health of a human being, but most people are not AWARE of them, nor do they know how to take care of each one.

Our educational systems pump out DAMAGED kids. In North America at least, human behavioral studies could help students to begin to understand themselves and others while simultaneously introducing them to a number of the sciences. An introduction to psychology, biology, genetics, anthropology and sociology could give children some PERSPECTIVE to assist them in surviving their K-12 education. Except in the most progressive schools, these studies are all but ignored until it is too late. Most of the emotional damage is done years before they reach college. Teaching young adults about human behavior when the student already has a fully developed identity is like closing the barn doors after the horses ran away.

Higher education has its problems too. The lesson most learned in universities is that degrees can be bought by those whose influential families are alumni or financial contributers. Money and power should not be held up as something for young people to strive for or envy. Corruption within the most important institutions in the world must end.

The grant system INFLUENCES academia. The saddest proof of this is in the statement: ‘ We are paid to search for answers—NOT TO FIND THEM.‘  Specialization within a general field of study has created division amongst scholars and furthered compartmentalization or outright suppression of findings. Until researchers stop being held back by doctrine within the peer review system, hard scientific evidence will continue to appear to the public as being subject to interpretation.

Serious subject matter handled in a not too serious way.

MsCreant.EABarker.com

A Holiday Message. . .

Times are tough.

There is a great deal of uncertainty at the very least, if not fear or outright paranoia in our world at the moment.

Please try to reign in these thoughts–especially over the holidays.

If you are able to read this on-line, it most likely means you can afford devices and services which connect you to this on-line world. This also implies that your immediate security needs of shelter, food, and clothing have also been met. Be grateful for what you have as there are a great many others who are not as fortunate and who will not be able to read this.

The holidays are a time for giving–our way of expressing love, caring and thanks to people we know.

 

Even strangers tend to treat us a little better at this time of year. They might smile as they hold a door for us when we have both of our hands full of shopping bags. Our preoccupation with finishing the damnable shopping, so that we can jump back into the hustle and bustle of the season, might make us overlook this tiny kind gesture. Seize the moment to look them in the eye and say thank you and wish them a happy holiday. It might be the only present they receive this year.

The holiday season puts increased demands on our time because of all the commitments we make to family and friends. This causes us to be stressed and possibly irritable. We need to remember that we are fortunate to have those friends and family members with us, as many others may not.

Some people will not be able to travel to see their friends and family this year. They may feel very alone. They can change that by volunteering their time to a cause they believe in. Many worthwhile causes do not close during the holidays and spending time with the other volunteers will almost certainly turn into new friendships.

We pick up the holiday spirit by being compassionate. Give some canned goods to the food bank, give some blankets to a shelter or contribute to your local toy drive. The smallest things make a difference in this world. We often forget this. We do not have to solve global warming to improve the planet; the kid who receives your toy this year might be destined to do that–if they are not emotionally scarred by Santa missing their home. This is how we are all connected.

Goodness spreads like a virus through all walks of life, across all religions, and it does not see the color of someones skin or their gender. By spreading that which we know to be good, we spread hope. The hope we create can alter the path of another.

This almost certainly will be my last blog post for a while.

I wish to extend my gratitude to all of you who follow me on social media. To you, and everyone you care about, I wish you a safe and happy holiday season.

E. A.

 

Ms. Creant: The Wrong Doers!

Life With Women: The Long-Awaited Instruction Manual

This book was created for everyone, from young adults to seniors. It was written from a male’s point of view, speaking to men who are endlessly struggling to understand the opposite sex. For women, this is a fascinating journey inside the male psyche. The book gives a young reader a glimpse of the future, with a recommended timeline for key life events. Mature readers, who have already experienced much of what is discussed in the book, should come away with a new-found understanding, and perhaps even closure. Ms. Creant is a controversial, entertaining, yet informative look at everything that influences human behaviour including: relationships, life, health, biology, philosophy, sociology, theology, politics, genetics—even physics. E. A. Barker shares twenty-four “inappropriate” stories of life with women. The author based these stories of women behaving badly on his real life experiences, spanning four decades of his search for an ideal partner. The lessons taken away from the book will serve to help readers make better choices, become more aware, grow, and change—at any stage of life.

ISBNs

978-1-77302-134-8 (8×10 Large Print Hardcover)

978-1-77302-132-4 (8×10 Large Print Paperback)

978-1-77302-133-1 (eBook)

Amazon US ➜ http://tinyurl.com/hpdbjtp
Amazon CA ➜ http://tinyurl.com/jxa7zab
Amazon AU ➜ http://tinyurl.com/zhufwl6
Amazon UK ➜ http://tinyurl.com/jnrp9dn
Smashwords ➜ http://tinyurl.com/grxg5sv
B&N ➜ http://tinyurl.com/j9murlr
Kobo ➜ http://tinyurl.com/je2ytyp
itunes ➜ http://tinyurl.com/h47zplv
Indigo ➜ http://tinyurl.com/jye4q5m

https://www.facebook.com/MsCreantTheWrongDoers/

https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/58727166-e-a-barker

 

Your Weekend Excerpt

“”In the on-line world, men are known to send random women “dick pics” in an effort to impress, which I find both sad and hilarious at the same time. This inappropriate behaviour illustrates a complete lack of understanding of how women work. Even if you are a porn star named Studly Hunglong, women do not care about your junk. You would be better off sending pictures of your bank statement. At least you would not be immediately blocked that way.””

Ms. Creant: The  Wrong Doers! is available in most e-book formats as well as large print paperback and hardcover versions from better bookstores the world over.

If you enjoy on-line shopping, here are some links:

Amazon US ➜ http://tinyurl.com/hpdbjtp
Amazon CA ➜ http://tinyurl.com/jxa7zab
Amazon AU ➜ http://tinyurl.com/zhufwl6
Amazon UK ➜ http://tinyurl.com/jnrp9dn
Smashwords ➜ http://tinyurl.com/grxg5sv
B&N ➜ http://tinyurl.com/j9murlr
Kobo ➜ http://tinyurl.com/je2ytyp
itunes ➜ http://tinyurl.com/h47zplv
Indigo ➜ http://tinyurl.com/jye4q5m

Enjoy.

Your Weekend Excerpt

“She found someone who was a far worse problem drinker than herself, so SHE COULD FEEL GOOD ABOUT HERSELF in the relationship. She RATIONALIZED her alcoholism. She could continue to live in denial without having to face her demons—a perfect model of CO-DEPENDENCY.”

The human propensity to embrace denial and escapism through well told action-adventure-romance stories has led us to where we are in Western Civilization today.

We now deny everything. We cling to fantasy rather than cleaning up our mess. We look for external causes of our suffering rather than working on self-improvement.

Self-awareness is the key difference between living in the dark ages or an age of reason.

Mass denial will lead us to mass extinction.

 

Ms. Creant: The Wrong Doers! is the most entertaining way to begin to understand men, women, relationships, societies and human civilization.

The book is available everywhere, but I like the idea of supporting that tiny local bookstore. You know the one.

Have a great week.

E. A.

 

ISBNs

978-1-77302-134-8 (8×10 Large Print Hardcover)

978-1-77302-132-4 (8×10 Large Print Paperback)

978-1-77302-133-1 (eBook)

Amazon US ➜ http://tinyurl.com/hpdbjtp
Amazon CA ➜ http://tinyurl.com/jxa7zab
Amazon AU ➜ http://tinyurl.com/zhufwl6
Amazon UK ➜ http://tinyurl.com/jnrp9dn
Smashwords ➜ http://tinyurl.com/grxg5sv
B&N ➜ http://tinyurl.com/j9murlr
Kobo ➜ http://tinyurl.com/je2ytyp
itunes ➜ http://tinyurl.com/h47zplv
Indigo ➜ http://tinyurl.com/jye4q5m

Your Weekend Excerpt.

“By becoming analytical when looking at your unsuccessful relationships, you can begin to see how you made poor choices, or you might discover there are major flaws in your selection process.”

Early reviews are available on Goodreads and Amazon.com

Ms. Creant: The Wrong Doers is available around the globe through quality booksellers.

ISBNs

978-1-77302-134-8 (Hardcover)

978-1-77302-132-4 (Paperback)

978-1-77302-133-1 (eBook)

Amazon US ➜ http://tinyurl.com/hpdbjtp
Amazon CA ➜ http://tinyurl.com/jxa7zab
Amazon AU ➜ http://tinyurl.com/zhufwl6
Amazon UK ➜ http://tinyurl.com/jnrp9dn
Smashwords ➜ http://tinyurl.com/grxg5sv
B&N ➜ http://tinyurl.com/j9murlr
Kobo ➜ http://tinyurl.com/je2ytyp
itunes ➜ http://tinyurl.com/h47zplv
Indigo ➜ http://tinyurl.com/jye4q5m