Your Beliefs Create Your Reality. Part 5

Health Challenges:

My train of thought has been known to derail.

In the previous installment I touched on the subject of health as part of a general view of my personal reality. A few weeks after posting that one, I wrote an e-mail which expanded on the theme which I will share to complete the thought.

First, for those who have not yet read Ms. Creant, my book delves into LIFE–which of course include matters of health. There is more room in a book to go into detail but for the sake of brevity I will give you the key idea which I presented on this subject:

There are four integral parts of a human which need to be kept healthy or else we open the door to major health challenges.

We are bombarded by books and articles about the importance of exercise, eating right, and eliminating the intake of things that we know to be bad for us. These writers tell us that if we look after our bodies, we will be more energetic, happier and will live longer. IF THIS WERE TRUE:

  • None of them would ever have to face significant health challenges but many will.
  • None would ever become depressed but approximately 17% of this group will.
  • All of them would outlive the rest of us but many do not.

The reason is fairly simple to grasp. They focused on only 25% of their being’s needs to the exclusion of the other 75%.

Here is what they missed:

  • They placed little or no value on nourishing their INTELLECT. The more advanced the thought processes, the more power the mind has to moderate the intake of things that we know to be bad for us.
  • They placed little or no value on the exploration of their inner SELF–who they are—their identity.  They were not able to moderate the intake of things that we know to be bad for us on an emotional level.
  • They placed little or no value on nourishing their SPIRITUAL side–the part of all humans that needs to believe in something  greater than themselves so they can remain hopeful. They were not able to moderate the intake of things that we know to be bad for us to offset feelings of hopelessness or meaninglessness.

You cannot nourish that which you do not know or understand.

  • To nourish our INTELLECT, one must simply READ; READ; READ! I would love to tell you that you must read my genre (nonfiction) but it would be self-serving if I did so because there are thought provoking books in many other genres. The key to a good read is its ability to make you think–not merely escape. People who feed their intellect are less likely to succumb to Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia.
  • To nourish your SELF, you must explore the who, what, when, where and how of the significant events which affected you emotionally creating your behaviors. You can read a great deal on psychology but it is doubtful you will be able to accurately assess your own behaviors without a perspective from someone trained in the field. People who understand themselves have fewer emotional outbursts, are better at managing stress, anxiety, depression, and are less prone to psychological disorders in general.
  • To nourish your SPIRITUAL side you must first acknowledge that there is meaning–if not a plan–to your existence. Next you must find inner peace in some belief or (better still) beliefs you can call your own. Philosophy; even the philosophies of various religions, are particularly useful in giving life meaning by again adding an outside perspective to your life. Everyone knows of my disdain for religions who profit from fear mongering; who help only those of their own ilk; that endorse sexism and violence while perpetuating the division of humanity . . . but even their books contain worthwhile messages for a seeker of meaning.

Preface over; now on to the subject at hand.

Hope springs eternal. Hope is what keeps us going. Most people consider this a given until presented with challenges they were not PREPARED to face. The least AWARE among us will be quicker to lose hope, while thinkers will take their time to process this new information before ACCEPTING the opinions of the very fallible indoctrinated humans who dispense it.

If you believe a singular prognosis, it is YOU who will make it a reality.

This brings us to the point you were making. Reasonable or cautious optimism are a part of what thinking people wrestle with constantly. We must be cautious yet hopeful. Most importantly, we must be careful not to RATIONALIZE poor choices or behavior as a result of a new-found belief. At the same time, we must not DELUDE ourselves either or we could allow a decline in our condition which could have been prevented. This is a great deal of information which we must process. Fortunately the human brain is capable of this level of cognitive reasoning when the mind has been properly trained to think about the probable outcomes of numerous possibilities.

Thinking people ponder their options while other humans merely react.

A person who is considering several courses of action is undecided about the outcome so they have not yet chosen to BELIEVE anything. Conversely, the person who immediately chooses to believe, will also immediately begin to live a REALITY created for them by someone else.

We have a choice as to what we believe. This is certain and it also implies that we have a choice of realities.

A health challenge is a test of WHO we are: our intellect, our spirit, our emotional stability and our will to continue. No school program ever PREPARES us for these life challenges, even though they should. I wrote my book, in part, as an attempt to create change in what we teach–to encourage life preparedness. In order to achieve this we must place emphasis on creating young people with fully formed and understood identities rather than letting them flail about in the world, HOPING they will find their way.

A prepared mind is less likely to believe in a reality created by someone else, and more likely to see their HOPES come to fruition.

I wish I had thought of the line above sooner . . . it would have saved a great deal of time.

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Your Beliefs Create Your Reality! Part 4

This is a very special unplanned segment.

For those who are not among my handful of followers, I am the author of the book Ms. Creant: The Wrong Doers! pictured above. At the beginning of 2017, I started this new blog series which explores how all of us are, at the very least, influenced by what we believe to be true or in the worst cases, completely handicapped by those beliefs. The message of this new awareness campaign is pretty simple:

We must question our beliefs or we fall victim to them.

This special segment is not about society or humanity as the others are. This one is about me. Unless you have read my book, you probably do not know much about me so I will give you some insights.

In 2007 I was injured in a workplace accident which, according to the various medical experts who evaluated me, has left me with a significant permanent physical impairment. Their collective prognoses did not paint a pretty picture of my future:

  • Daily pain worsening as years pass requiring ongoing ever-increasing prescription drug intake.
  • Limited ADL’s (activities of daily living)—worsening over time.
  • Eventual loss of mobility leading to other associated health problems.

There were more but you get the idea. I was faced at the time with what appeared to be only two choices:

ACCEPT or REJECT.

It appeared I would either have to BELIEVE and submit to THEIR FUTURE for me, or I could deny their findings and fight. I was never one to place any faith in authority figures and throughout much of my life I had always rebelled against them. For years I chose DENIAL and that did not work out so well as I endlessly suffered with re-injuries. These long recovery periods are where I began to write what I thought would be a short memoir to leave to my young nephews who were already repeating the mistakes of my younger days. The more stories I wrote, the more obvious my own repetitive behaviors became to me. I was creeping up to the edge of awareness or an awakening without knowing it. I would then spend a year researching a great many academic disciplines as I sought to unravel the mysteries of human behavior.  When I wrote The End for the first time years later,  I was already AWARE I had always had a third option where my CHOICES were concerned. I could have chosen to LEARN MORE. Since that time, every decision in my life has had three ways it could go:

ACCEPT, REJECT or RESEARCH.

Had I BELIEVED the medical experts, by now I would probably have:

  • become a prescription drug addict.
  • significant organ damage resulting from the continual drug use.
  • liver, kidney and heart problems which would of course be treated with still more prescriptions.
  • an inability to feel when I am at the threshold of overexertion so recurring injuries would have been far more frequent; thereby furthering my level of disability.
  • a brain chemistry so impaired that writing anything remotely cogent would be unlikely.

Fortunately in my youth, I somehow absorbed the importance of possessing the ability to learn; courtesy of the Canadian public education system.

Knowing how to learn is everything!

This brings us back to the present and closer to the special part I promised.

When I began my journey as an author, there were a huge number of things I could have BELIEVED which could have made me quit:

  • “Major publishers will not accept queries from first-time authors without agents.” This turned out to be true so I pitched the smaller ones.
  • “Publishers will not accept queries from non-fiction self-help authors lacking a PHD.” This turned out to be true but I had a problem with the idea that only PHD’s are capable of rational thought or original ideas. It is elitist and it does not explain why people with advanced  degrees have always sought me out when they needed a new perspective—so I pressed on.
  • “Agents will not take on new writers who do not have a substantial writing portfolio and author platform.” This turned out to be true so I began building one.
  • Publicists: “We are looking for a PHD as well, unless you are an entertainer.” I was unsure how those two equated so I moved on.
  • I amassed a large collection of rejection letters from both agents and publishers which led to the idea of self-publishing as an indie-author.
  • “Indie-authors need to build a massive following over a multitude of social media platforms for their book to even be noticed.” This may be true but I only march to the beat of my own drum and I have little desire to be another dancing monkey.
  • “There is no point in sending out press releases if you are an unknown author.” I sent them anyway.
  • “The mainstream media will ignore indie-authors.” There was evidence to support this belief.  Several major book critics and newspapers do not allow submissions of self-published titles. However . . .

Not being quick to BELIEVE has created my new REALITY.

 

Your Beliefs Create Your Reality: Part 3

What you CHOOSE to believe in is a measure of your level of consciousness or awareness.

What you CHOOSE to believe in makes a statement about you as an individual and all those who helped to shape you.

  1. Your parents.
  2. Your friends and relatives.
  3. Your educators and mentors.

They are all products of the society in which they live.

But it was YOU who ultimately made a CHOICE as to:

  • who you would emulate.
  • who your role model(s) would be.
  • how big of an impact you would allow them to have on your life.
  • what you wanted for yourself from life.

There is an endless debate in the social sciences as to whether the significant early life choices are made consciously or subconsciously or by a combination of both, and how much control an individual has over external influences. It really does not matter. The only thing that truly matters is:

We can change WHO we are anytime we wish.

It only takes is a willingness on your part to LEARN about the most interesting person in the world: YOU! Instead of researching the lives of the rich and famous, spend that time studying your being.

How to begin to explore your inner self:

  1. ACKNOWLEDGE that you are a product of your upbringing and your society and there was nothing you could do about this.
  2. ACKNOWLEDGE that you were not aware of this when you started your journey, and FORGIVE yourself and those who influenced your early choices.
  3. Become introspective. ANALYZE how you became WHO you are. Chronicle the sequence of events in your life AND THE CHOICES YOU MADE, whether good or bad, that have brought you to the present.
  4. BE GRATEFUL for the good choices you made, but LET GO of feelings of regret and resentment as they will hold you back in your search to understand how you  became you.
  5. PLEDGE not to repeat your mistakes, and to THINK before you act whenever you are tempted by past negative patterns of behavior.
  6. Remind yourself that YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF EVERYTHING YOU DO, as well as EVERYTHING YOU ARE WILLING TO ACCEPT.
  7. STOP FOLLOWING BLINDLY. Question everything–especially when someone tells you not to question something. Open your mind to new possibilities. We are CONDITIONED by our societies to BELIEVE certain things about ourselves and others. Our parents, teachers, media and religious figureheads are quick to fill our heads with THEIR BELIEFS rather than encouraging us to research and study a subject to reach our own conclusions.
  8. CHANGE how quickly you make decisions and form opinions. When presented with a new idea or a new opportunity, do not make a snap decision based on your CONDITIONING. Instead of ACCEPTING or REJECTING, try THINKING. Pondering allows more time to consider the viability and ramifications of an idea or opportunity.
  9. STOP BEING LAZY. Making changes to your life requires you to WANT MORE which requires you to DO MORE!
  10. STOP BEING GULLIBLE. An informed well-read INDIVIDUAL is rarely taken in by charlatans or easily manipulated, except when their sympathies and kindness are exploited. These traits are potential liabilities but worth keeping as part of WHO you are. You would be less human without them.
  11. YOU WILL NEED EXPERT GUIDANCE. You could buy a thought provoking book to use as a guide, like Ms. Creant: The Wrong Doers! which chronicles my misadventures in life and would be a good START on your path to behavioral understanding. Next, you could research a number of the more serious disciplines to find meaningful insights into, philosophy, psychology, theology, sociology and so on. It is possible you will hit a stumbling block on your road to enlightenment.  If this should happen, I recommend a chat with a professional therapist (psychologist) who may supply the PERSPECTIVE you need to keep moving forward in your quest to answer the question: WHO AM I?

It is easy to follow.

It is tougher to be a thinking individual . . .

ONLY thinking individuals can change their REALITY.

The Official Ms. Creant Website Is Up

There is something for everyone!

  • Readers

  • Librarians

  • Educators

  • Parents

  • Booksellers

  • Book Clubs

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Welcome!

The Journey Begins Here.

MsCreant.EABarker.com

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Ms. Creant: The Wrong Doers!

Life With Women: The Long-Awaited Instruction Manual

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A reader need only have an open mind to enjoy Ms. Creant.

Readers also possessing a sense of humor, will love it.

Blurb:

This book was created for everyone from young adults to seniors. It was written from a male’s point of view, speaking to men who are endlessly struggling to understand the opposite sex. For women, this is a fascinating journey inside the male psyche. The book gives a young reader a glimpse of the future, with a recommended timeline for key life events. Mature readers, who have already experienced much of what is discussed in the book, should come away with a new found understanding, and perhaps even closure. Ms. Creant is a controversial, entertaining, yet informative look at everything which influences human behaviour including: relationships, life, health, biology, philosophy, sociology, theology, politics, genetics—even physics. E. A. Barker shares twenty-four “inappropriate” stories of life with women. The author based these stories of women behaving badly on his real life experiences, spanning four decades of his search for an ideal partner. The lessons taken away from the book will serve to help readers make better choices, become more aware, grow and change—at any stage of life.

About the intended reader and a caution:

Ms. Creant was written by a man, from a man’s perspective, for men, and those soon to become men. Yes, many women have embraced the book as well, but it is doubtful any young female teenagers are likely to be handed a copy. It is difficult to state the exact age a young man should begin to explore the realities which lay ahead for him, so my first thought was to say age thirteen—the sooner the better. HOWEVER, I recommend we err on the side of caution. The book contains adult situations and sarcasm that the youngest readers may not comprehend without adult guidance to give them some clarification. This could cause an important message to be lost on them, or worse, they may embrace the poor behaviors illustrated. There are both young men and boys in the age range between thirteen and fifteen with significant variations in maturity levels found throughout the group. We can safely state that a young man is ready for Ms. Creant when he has experienced any of the following life events:

  • He has a poor attitude towards school.
  • He has been rejected by a girl.
  • He has a girlfriend.
  • He has had his first sexual encounter.
  • He has had his first heartbreak.
  • He has been caught with alcohol or drugs.

The important messages contained in Ms. Creant:

  • WHO you become is more important than WHAT you become.
  • Make smart choices.
  • Be aware of yourself and your possible futures.
  • You must always have a plan.
  • Stay in school.
  • Say no to drugs.
  • Practice safe sex.
  • How to recognize and keep you and your friends away from a date rape scenario.
  • Never stop working on self-improvement.
  • Completing a post-secondary education is a must.
  • There will be time for serious relationships once you have completed your education.
  • Chase your dream.
  • Choose to be happy.
  • See things as they are—not as you would like them to be.
  • Learn to recognize your own behavioral patterns.
  • We must rethink how we are raising our daughters.
  • The difference between sex and love.
  • Equality is achievable when we stop trying to manipulate each other.
  • Settle wisely.
  • Balance and communication are the key elements of a successful relationship.
  • Behaviors to avoid if you want to remain faithful.
  • How to survive the end of a serious relationship.
  • Understand menopause—it happens to all humans.
  • You can change anything and at any age.
  • To be completely healthy is to supply nutrition to all four parts of your being.
  • If you are pragmatic and grateful, death need not be scary.
  • Unbiased moral teachings might save humanity.
  • Parents must teach what the schools are not.
  • All sociological problems are directly linked to literacy.
  • Fear spreads quickly when rational thought is not present.
  • Political correctness is undermining freedom of speech—the communication of ideas—retarding humanity’s growth.
  • Working to become the best person you can be will make you a role model—an influencer—for others yet to come.

Ms. Creant is a relatively light look at the human condition.

Why was Ms. Creant written?

This was my attempt to change a world which becomes more distressing with each passing day.

By writing about many of the most difficult issues facing mankind with a pinch of humor, it was my hope that a conversation would be started which could spread awareness.

  • Men need a better understanding of both themselves and women.
  • Women need a better understanding of both themselves and men.
  • Both sexes need to see the world for what it is if we are to create change.
  • Continuing to live obliviously in a dream or a bubble made tolerable by escapism will not adequately prepare your children and grandchildren for the challenges they will face as these last two generations attempt to save humanity.
  • We cannot allow the goal of true equality to be corrupted by political correctness or reverse discrimination.
  • The patriarchy that has been with us for the past 5,000 years must be left behind.

Our present educational systems encourage ACCEPTANCE of what is thought to be known rather than the exploration of the subject matter which could bring about a paradigm shift.

The most fundamental teachings of philosophy—learning WHO we should strive to become—is no longer valued. Morality, ethics, and scruples are now increasingly rare traits found in the people we meet.

Most societies in the West have CONFORMED to the destructive and soon to be fatal ideology of economics based thinking. By placing a higher value on the words uttered by celebrities, the wealthy, religious zealots, and sports heroes than we do the words of the most brilliant minds, we are accelerating the fall of Western civilization.

We are teaching a watered down version of history, INFLUENCED by political and religious agendas, which focuses our attention on names, dates and places, instead of the more important causes and effects which led to wars and the fall of various civilizations throughout recorded time.

There are four interconnected elements which can adversely affect the health of a human being, but most people are not AWARE of them, nor do they know how to take care of each one.

Our educational systems pump out DAMAGED kids. In North America at least, human behavioral studies could help students to begin to understand themselves and others while simultaneously introducing them to a number of the sciences. An introduction to psychology, biology, genetics, anthropology and sociology could give children some PERSPECTIVE to assist them in surviving their K-12 education. Except in the most progressive schools, these studies are all but ignored until it is too late. Most of the emotional damage is done years before they reach college. Teaching young adults about human behavior when the student already has a fully developed identity is like closing the barn doors after the horses ran away.

Higher education has its problems too. The lesson most learned in universities is that degrees can be bought by those whose influential families are alumni or financial contributers. Money and power should not be held up as something for young people to strive for or envy. Corruption within the most important institutions in the world must end.

The grant system INFLUENCES academia. The saddest proof of this is in the statement: ‘ We are paid to search for answers—NOT TO FIND THEM.‘  Specialization within a general field of study has created division amongst scholars and furthered compartmentalization or outright suppression of findings. Until researchers stop being held back by doctrine within the peer review system, hard scientific evidence will continue to appear to the public as being subject to interpretation.

Serious subject matter handled in a not too serious way.

MsCreant.EABarker.com

SNEAK PREVIEW OF THE BOOK! Ms. Creant: The Wrong Doers.

 

 


 


June 1, 2016 UPDATE:

The book is in, what I hope will be, its final stages before publication.

It is bigger, and I hope better, after another three months of refinement.

Ms. Creant will now (possibly) be deemed appropriate for the YA group, as well as being useful to educators.

I expect a September release.

Overview

I set out to write the definitive guide to women.

Am I an expert on the subject? Statistics would seem to indicate that I have THIRTY TIMES the experience of the average North American male.

Ms. Creant, the book, began as a way to vent my frustration after befriending a severely damaged thirty-nine year old woman, whose duplicitous nature drove me nuts. It was because of her that I read The Wisdom of Menopause looking for answers. What I did not realize until after I had finished reading the book, was that I understood women better than most understood themselves.

As my personality type comes up as ENTP “The Visionary”, I am one of those people who can step outside the box to see the big picture. Having just extricated myself from a stagnant eight year relationship, I was just beginning to adjust when this Ms. Creant came along. Betrayal and resentment are great motivators, if you can hang onto those feelings long enough to complete a book.

Thinking that I might be able to save my two young nephews from making the same mistakes I have made, I set out to write my relationship memoirs. However as I did, I found myself trying to analyse each of those failed relationships, and began to see patterns emerging. The book was evolving into a humorous narrative non-fiction tell-all with hard science that seems to support its thesis. Ms. Creant became a “book of life” or a “book of everything” somewhere along the way, but it always comes back to its central point. Ms. Creant is the book I wish someone had given me as a young man. It is a game changer. It can help society. It may help civilization.

Men the world over are constantly blindsided by the actions of women. Many men are permanently scarred by these experiences. The average guy in North America has less than ten sexual partners, and perhaps three live-with relationships before marriage. Someone had to write a book to help them understand women better, so that they can find closure, avoid negative patterns of behavior, and choose more wisely starting at an early age.

I found Christiane Northrup’s book to be a forced read- a text-book and anything but a page turner. I did not want that for my book.

Women who read the early edition of Ms. Creant made comments like:

“I did not like reading about these women, but I want my son to know that they are out there.”

“There is so much more to the facts of life than just how babies are made. My husband needs to read this.”

“I did not like some of what was being said, but it was not wrong. I could see many of these traits in women I know.”

“I loved the memoirs! I could not put them down.” 

Ms. Creant was designed to be for everyone.

It is factual, informative, controversial, helpful, unique and fun. It features stories with sex, violence, and betrayal. It has broad appeal.

The design criteria:

1) It should assist parents in preparing their sons to go out into the world on their own.

2) It should be an easy and fun read. Few people choose to read a text-book.

3) The stories should be hard to put down, and the analysis of each must be brief.

4) The underlying themes should continue throughout each chapter.

5) It should appeal to men of ALL AGES and curious women who are not easily offended- particularly those with sons coming of age.

6) All post-pubescent males should be able to read it or just skim it, and be better informed for their effort.

Although I believe it to be PG13, some parents may believe the language and content to be destructive to a young mind. To them I say: Go on the internet to see what your kids are looking at. Concerned parents who wish to develop a moderated dialog with a young son about girls, sex, drugs, alcohol, acceptable behavior, and the importance of education, can read passages of the book with their son, and then discuss the subject matter.

I wanted the book to be something a parent could buy for themselves, and then pass along to their young adult son who does not enjoy reading. The 16 pt. sub-headings and the index will allow this youngster to skim to what interests him most. Hopefully, he accidentally discovers that reading can be fun, especially when the topic is girls.

7) There must be positive messages.

Stay in school, abstinence, practice safe sex, avoid drugs and alcohol, work on improving yourself, avoid date rape situations, there is a difference between making love and having sex, choose wisely and settle carefully, are just some of the messages contained in the book.

8) There should not be any religious bias or slant but learning about different philosophies is encouraged.

9) The science is a necessary component, but it must be kept to a minimum and presented in an easily understandood form.

10) No matter what the level of the reader; Ms. Creant must be thought provoking!