Your Beliefs Create Your Reality. Part 8

Are “solid” people disappearing?

I know that if I choose to BELIEVE this, the universe will conspire to make this my REALITY so I fight this negative thought despite the overwhelming mounting evidence which seems to surround me. If I were to make this a personal belief, it could forever change me into someone I do not like. I could become bitter, resentful, and wary of the intentions of the people I meet. Truth be known, I am wary. I accept this about myself and simply view it as a defense mechanism―a result of living a long life among other humans.

What is a “solid” person?

Everyone will have a slightly different answer depending on their life experiences and their personal code of conduct which reflects how well developed their super-ego is. Freud first used this term almost one hundred years ago to describe the part of us that is supposed to moderate the wants of our id and ego. Some call it a moral center or compass, but it is also made up of the ethics and scruples taught to us which are also key components to a conscience. When we assess whether or not a person is “solid”, we are JUDGING them based on our own set of values.

People usually want to surround themselves with people possessing similar values but we cannot expect others in our social circles to live up to the standards we set for ourselves or else we set ourselves up for disappointment―a mistake I keep making.

I set very high achievable standards for myself, even though those standards often require a significant effort on my part in order to clear the bar. I have always wanted to be a good person―a “solid” person. When I was young and naive, just a couple of years ago, I actually thought most people wanted the same for themselves. However, life has a way of showing you just how wrong you can be.

Traits of “solid” people:

  1. They are honorable. Their word is their bond. It means everything to them.
  2. They care. They will drop everything to help a friend, loved one or even strangers.
  3. They give. They are grateful to be in a position to help.
  4. They remember everyone who ever helped them.
  5. They have your back. They know your worth. They stand up for you when gossips attempt to assassinate your character when you are not around.

I am fortunate to have a few such people in my life. Sadly, the number has dwindled over the years as the true nature of some fair weather types was finally revealed to me. If we are to use the above list to JUDGE others, we absolutely cannot fail someone for not achieving a perfect score. There are caring, giving, appreciative people who just cannot keep commitments they make, usually because they lack the organizational skills to keep track of their lives. While these good people may not live up to our Utopian expectations, they are nonetheless well meaning. They will frustrate us when they fail to come through on time, but the point is . . .  they do come through eventually.

Some say: “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

If we must KEEP SCORE in order to gauge the quality of these relationships, I believe we should measure intentions vs. deeds expressed as a ratio. You can very quickly separate the talkers from the walkers in this way.

If you are over forty and have to deal with millennials or younger people on a regular basis, you will be frustrated by what appears to be a total lack of honor―where their word means nothing. Give them time. Eventually they will see the importance of being honorable. Until then, keep an eye on their intentions vs. deeds ratio before you say they are not solid.




Blog 10.2: I am salmon. Hear me gurgle?

What if awareness and obliviousness is the same thing?

Why do I persist in swimming against the current?

This is part two.

My study of people led me to become slightly detached socially. I would prefer to sit on the outside looking in so as not to influence the outcome of the experiment that I was observing. While I had, and have the ability to mix and mingle with the best of them, my preference is to watch others make the attempt. It is far more entertaining. Live social interaction between young men and women in clubs was at the top of my list. A room filled to bursting with horny people and yet only a very few leave with someone. Two attractive people lock eyes; one musters up enough nerve to approach the other; one says something stupid and then they part- not to make the effort again that night.

There is a paradigm in psychology that states:

“People with the highest IQ’s are the most prone to substance abuse. They abuse alcohol or drugs to come down to the level of the rest of humanity in an effort to better fit in.”

Is it possible that all the alcoholics and drug users that I encounter are the pinnacle of human development? As a youngster, I was told that I possessed a genius level IQ. I rarely drink and never do any type of drug. Could it be that the substance abusers are so far above me intellectually, that I cannot comprehend their thought processes? Perhaps I have had it all wrong throughout my entire life. Maybe I am the “dim bulb” on the tree struggling to understand humanity without the necessary smarts to comprehend that which is right in front of me. It would explain much.

“Idle hands are the devil’s workshop.”

IT IS SIMPLER to follow your glands and have a child at an early age; be a slave to your job in order to pay the bills and get divorced ten years later only to do it again with someone else. You will never have idle hands and your brain will reorganize itself to the life you have chosen. Most of the inhabitants of the planet choose this for themselves and that is why they nest and attempt to hide from the outside world usually without success. They romanticize their relationships: spouses, pets and children- picturing themselves surrounded by loving creatures and people in their golden years without ever acknowledging the realities of their choices until it is too late. This is why old ladies are found dead with their corpses eaten by their pets.

IT IS BETTER to live obliviously. Regrets will not surface until middle or old age, if at all. You look back and wonder if you could have done more with your life, had you only chosen differently. You will live, die and will be forgotten like billions before without leaving a timeless legacy.

The young well-educated people that could change the world end up too busy to make a difference. They genuinely embrace being oblivious. I hope they like the oblivion that they are helping to quickly push humanity toward.

I push awareness in a world that is content to be oblivious.

I push knowledge in a world that is content to be misinformed.

I push tolerance in an intolerant world.

I push change in a world that is resistant to it.

I push rationality on the irrational.

I push for abstinence in a world of full of addicts.

I push for responsibility in an irresponsible world.

I push being scrupulous in an unscrupulous world.

I push spiritual health in a world that has stopped believing.

I push physical health in a world that likes to eat drug soaked fat.

I push mental health to people that are intent on doing crazy things.

I push emotional health to people with an endless capacity for self-doubt and self-pity.

I push for excellence in a world that strives for mediocrity.

I push humor in a world that often does not get the joke.

Perhaps it is time I started PULLING.

Is the Dalai Lama aware or just oblivious because of his meditative serene environment?

Are any of the sciences aware or are they oblivious because of the singular vantage point of their discipline?

Is the family guy who is a good husband and father oblivious or is he aware that he is doing what he was meant to do- always swimming downstream?

I am a flawed human as all humans seem to be. I pose questions looking for answers and am rarely surprised by the facts when they are published. I genuinely hope that I will have learned all the requisite lessons in this life so I do not have to come back here again. I appreciate the fleeting bits of love, joy, goodness, laughter, happiness and SERENITY that come my way, but overall, this place is no fun. If there is a higher plane of existence, I hope I am ready to be allowed in.

If Earth and this plane of existence were a vacation destination, I would rate it one star in a five star rating system.

I am incapable of following the words of Reinhold Niebuhr. Instead, I remain the UNWISE one who cannot ACCEPT that mankind must go obliviously into oblivion. I will continue to swim upstream in the hope that I can influence a select few to go out and change the world before the human race reaches its point of no return.

My book:

Ms. Creant: The Wrong Doers!

Life with Women: the long awaited instruction manual.

Talks of relationships, health, life, biology, philosophy, sociology, theology, genetics- even physics as well as how “INTO EACH LIFE A LITTLE RAIN MUST FALL.”

I wrote this on a dismal rainy day.

I am fine.

Really; I am.

I know this reads like a suicide note. {He wrote- laughing out loud.}

Writing a blog is a better way of venting than getting drunk and having a domestic; which, should you not be aware of the statistics, is the number one call to the police across the planet on a daily basis.

I promise to write the next one on a glorious sunny summer day after getting laid just to continue the experiment with a different set of controls.

See you next week.

E. A.

P. S. Does anyone have a morally loose woman that you could refer?