An unsent email.

I am still disappointed and even more disgusted than ever by the things I have discovered since we split up.

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Long ago, at the beginning you said: ‘Sometimes I have trouble knowing right from wrong.’ I should have seen this for what it is; a common trait among sociopaths, but instead I intervened in what I now see as your karmic destiny.

In another conversation, you told of being called a succubus, yet you did not really mind this worst of all slurs of your person. In fact you seemed to like the idea of playing the part. As a so-called life-long “religious” person, this should have been the ultimate affront to you because of the morality your church has been preaching to you for years, apparently without success.

“A succubus is a demon in female form, or supernatural entity in folklore, that appears in dreams and takes the form of a woman in order to seduce men, usually through sexual activity. The male counterpart is the incubus. Religious traditions hold that repeated sexual activity with a succubus may result in the deterioration of health or mental state, or even death.”

Is the above really who you want to be?

The “shoe” fits, princess. My career was slowed by making you a priority in my life—dealing with your endless problems. My health suffered as a result of the concern, stress, and time you took away from making badly needed money. And wow, did you screw with my mental state. It took longer than the two weeks I joked about when we were “together” to get over you. It took two months.

I don’t care that you have not paid the outstanding amount owed to me. In my rage I was as cruel with my words as I was capable of, and you have obviously used this to rationalize stiffing me. HOWEVER, what is not acceptable is you have not paid at least one of our mutual friends, and perhaps others, now that you have a life which affords you the opportunity to repay those who fell for your bullshit.

Get your crap together and pay your debts before you do end up in hell.

(This one is really just for kicks, shits, and giggles because I needed to blog something here. I do not hold out any hope the party in question will suddenly develop a conscience. Peace out!)

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Your Beliefs Create Your Reality: Part 3

What you CHOOSE to believe in is a measure of your level of consciousness or awareness.

What you CHOOSE to believe in makes a statement about you as an individual and all those who helped to shape you.

  1. Your parents.
  2. Your friends and relatives.
  3. Your educators and mentors.

They are all products of the society in which they live.

But it was YOU who ultimately made a CHOICE as to:

  • who you would emulate.
  • who your role model(s) would be.
  • how big of an impact you would allow them to have on your life.
  • what you wanted for yourself from life.

There is an endless debate in the social sciences as to whether the significant early life choices are made consciously or subconsciously or by a combination of both, and how much control an individual has over external influences. It really does not matter. The only thing that truly matters is:

We can change WHO we are anytime we wish.

It only takes is a willingness on your part to LEARN about the most interesting person in the world: YOU! Instead of researching the lives of the rich and famous, spend that time studying your being.

How to begin to explore your inner self:

  1. ACKNOWLEDGE that you are a product of your upbringing and your society and there was nothing you could do about this.
  2. ACKNOWLEDGE that you were not aware of this when you started your journey, and FORGIVE yourself and those who influenced your early choices.
  3. Become introspective. ANALYZE how you became WHO you are. Chronicle the sequence of events in your life AND THE CHOICES YOU MADE, whether good or bad, that have brought you to the present.
  4. BE GRATEFUL for the good choices you made, but LET GO of feelings of regret and resentment as they will hold you back in your search to understand how you  became you.
  5. PLEDGE not to repeat your mistakes, and to THINK before you act whenever you are tempted by past negative patterns of behavior.
  6. Remind yourself that YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF EVERYTHING YOU DO, as well as EVERYTHING YOU ARE WILLING TO ACCEPT.
  7. STOP FOLLOWING BLINDLY. Question everything–especially when someone tells you not to question something. Open your mind to new possibilities. We are CONDITIONED by our societies to BELIEVE certain things about ourselves and others. Our parents, teachers, media and religious figureheads are quick to fill our heads with THEIR BELIEFS rather than encouraging us to research and study a subject to reach our own conclusions.
  8. CHANGE how quickly you make decisions and form opinions. When presented with a new idea or a new opportunity, do not make a snap decision based on your CONDITIONING. Instead of ACCEPTING or REJECTING, try THINKING. Pondering allows more time to consider the viability and ramifications of an idea or opportunity.
  9. STOP BEING LAZY. Making changes to your life requires you to WANT MORE which requires you to DO MORE!
  10. STOP BEING GULLIBLE. An informed well-read INDIVIDUAL is rarely taken in by charlatans or easily manipulated, except when their sympathies and kindness are exploited. These traits are potential liabilities but worth keeping as part of WHO you are. You would be less human without them.
  11. YOU WILL NEED EXPERT GUIDANCE. You could buy a thought provoking book to use as a guide, like Ms. Creant: The Wrong Doers! which chronicles my misadventures in life and would be a good START on your path to behavioral understanding. Next, you could research a number of the more serious disciplines to find meaningful insights into, philosophy, psychology, theology, sociology and so on. It is possible you will hit a stumbling block on your road to enlightenment.  If this should happen, I recommend a chat with a professional therapist (psychologist) who may supply the PERSPECTIVE you need to keep moving forward in your quest to answer the question: WHO AM I?

It is easy to follow.

It is tougher to be a thinking individual . . .

ONLY thinking individuals can change their REALITY.