Blog 19: Why? It is a Good Question.

Three year-old’s love to ask this question. It seems the aged like it too.

An old woman from Norway that had never left her country before was given a trip to Los Angeles by a distant relative. While touring the Hollywood Hills looking at massive homes with multiple vehicles she was asked what she thought. She uttered one word.

Why?

Where she grew up, a house was shelter and only need be big enough for the number of occupants that reside there. She could not fathom a thirty room house that was mostly empty and she did not see the necessity for more than one vehicle.

She viewed it as wasteful.

She seemed quite interested in the roofs of these homes. She asked what they were made of and was told that they were Marley tile roofs, copper roofs and solar paneled roofs among others.

She asked: Why not use grass?

No one in the car could answer her question.

Later the same day, she overheard a conversation about private Health Insurance and asked: Why would you not want to use the Public Health System? It was explained to her that the best most immediate care was private.

She asked: Why?

No one in the room could adequately answer her question.

In touring L.A. she saw many homeless people that were her age on the streets.

She asked: Why do they live like that?

It was explained to her that many older retired people did not have pensions that could afford them housing. Some needed medications for mental disorders that they could not afford.

She asked: Did they not work their whole lives?

An answer came back that stated: “Just because you work your whole life in America is no guaranty that you will have a nice retirement.”

She asked: Why do they not live in the empty rooms of those big mansions?

A very young Great Great Niece of hers answered this one. She said: “Because rich people are afraid of poor people.”

She asked: Why?

The car was uncomfortably quiet for some time after that.

At dinner there was talk of sending her Great Niece to University and which of the schools on the list was the most affordable.

She asked: Why do you have to pay to educate your children if they are going to live and work in this country their whole lives?

No one attempted to answer.

She told her Great Niece about her University days so many years ago, and how excited she was back then at receiving her P.H.D. Everyone at the table was stunned. They had no idea that this very modestly dressed woman of few words that lived in a small three room grass-roofed house in Europe had an advanced degree.

She went on to point out that her family did not have to pay for her higher education as it was part of a government social program that included: free health care where you just walk into any hospital you want and an old age security plan that kept most everyone living comfortably after retirement with around 50% of their pre-retirement wage. Everyone that worked in the country paid about 15% of their wage into these programs. She added that there were not any homeless people and very little crime where she lived, and left it to us to connect the dots.

The rest of her short visit was spent talking about the family tree for the most part and visiting some tourist traps.

As we were driving her to the airport, she asked that we stop the car just ahead. She got out, walked over to a homeless lady and gave her all her remaining American money and got back in the car without uttering so much as a word.

As she was about to board she turned to us and said:

“This is the one of the richest countries in the world. You really should ask your government where they are spending all the money.”

Her doctorate was in economics.

My book:

Ms. Creant: The Wrong Doers!

Life with Women: the long awaited instruction manual.

Talks of relationships, health, life, biology, philosophy, sociology, theology, genetics- even physics as well as SUPPLYING SOME ANSWERS TO THE QUESTION: WHY?

Have a great week.

E. A.

 

 

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Blog 20: Words for a broken-hearted young man.

Here is why I did not say these things but instead wrote them for you. I wrote this so that it could be READ. I believe we retain only 20% of what we hear; 50% of what we read and 80% of what we write. This is why I encourage students to apply themselves in school and develop their note-making skills. My intended target for this article should benefit even though he is having a tough time emotionally.

A teenager that I know was devastated by a girl that ended their seven month relationship. As usual, as it is with many men, he was blind-sided but he did confess that he FELT that there was something wrong. She seemed different for a week leading up to the breakup. He had relationships end before without this level of suffering. It was not the first time that he was involved in a sexual relationship. He believes that this traumatic life event requires answers to achieve closure. (His words.)

Question: So why did this one gut him?

Answer: She became his SIGNIFICANT other.

She HELPED him find an educational path that would lead to his dream career and ENCOURAGED him to pursue it. She TAUGHT him that hard work in school pays off, as she is an honor student with many options heading into university. She GAVE love to him; even if it was for a short time.

She made him grow and strive to be better.

Instead of grieving for your lost relationship, THANK HER for being an important part of your life and walk away with your head held high- cherishing the memories.

This is what a REAL MAN does and IT IS NOT EASY.

It is also a great way to make her question her decision.

You may be tempted later to be vindictive. You may wish to inflict as much pain on her as she created in you. These days, guys post sexy pictures of their ex-girlfriends or ex-wives on the internet. This is an immature response that says that you are not yet a man.

REAL MEN do not do this.

Guys, especially young ones, often do not understand what it is to be a REAL MAN. Some think that because they had SEX they are a man. Most think that because they have reached an AGE where they can quit school, leave home, drive, drink, vote, work and live independently that they are men. Others think that because they PROVIDE they are a man. Many believe that because they are ENGAGED OR MARRIED they are a man. Still others think that because they HAVE A CHILD with a woman that they are a man.

Being a REAL MAN is not these things.

Being a REAL MAN means that you LEARNED about yourself and life as you did these things.

After a few decades of ATTEMPTING to be one myself, I have this to share with you my young Padawan learner.

  • A real man does things that make him loved by many. He realizes HE IS LOVED by many people so the loss of one, no matter how significant, is not the end of his world.
  • A real man recognizes that nothing lasts forever. He is GRATEFUL for the women that chose to spend their time with him and the joy they helped him to experience.
  • A real man is AWARE that life is challenging and meeting those challenges head-on is what gives him his strength.
  • A real man FACES HIS FEARS. He does not hide from them even though he is afraid.
  • A real man develops an INNER STRENGTH that allows him continue his life alone, if need be. He is comfortable and content in his own skin and to be on his own. He does not need others to enjoy life.
  • A real man knows that EVERY DAY IS PRECIOUS and does not waste his days on a temporarily broken heart or the person that damaged it.
  • A real man SEEKS KNOWLEDGE and new experiences because they give us understanding. You are not born a wise man. Wisdom is what you collect in your life’s journey.
  • A real man LISTENS more than he talks. He takes in what others say; absorbs the meaning of their words and asks for clarification before deciding to voice his opinion.
  • A real man does not ESCAPE HIS REALITY through booze, drugs, gambling or gaming. A lifestyle that includes these is counterproductive to all of the above. Escape into music, books, art, sports, travel and films as they are far less damaging and supply opportunities to expand your awareness.
  • A real man knows that HIS WORD MEANS EVERYTHING. If he makes a commitment, he will move heaven and earth to make certain he honours his word. His word is his bond. A handshake is his contract.
  • A real man understands that HIS HAPPINESS IS UP TO HIM. No one can give him happiness or take it away. Happiness is something that comes from within. Happiness is something he chooses to make a part of his everyday life.

 

My book:

Ms. Creant: The Wrong Doers!

Life with Women: the long awaited instruction manual.

Talks of relationships, health, life, biology, philosophy, sociology, theology, genetics- even physics as well as THE AUTHOR’S MISGUIDED ATTEMPTS TO BE A REAL MAN.

Hug someone with a broken heart.

E. A.

 

 

Blog 8: A study in positivity.

Having spotted a blog group that wanted “positive” messages, I am going to put a positive spin on everything I write in this blog!

I am too pragmatic to do rainbows, daffodils, unicorns and Zen. I do not know if it will make their cut.

This is a challenge for me being a student of human nature. As such, I all too often see the glaring negatives of mankind without acknowledging the more subtle positives.

I suppose I take the easy path that pairs well with my attempts at sardonic witticisms. Sarcasm is a tool used by comedians and writers alike to make light of serious subjects but for the purposes of this blog, I have to explore humanity’s “up-side” and that just may end up being good for me.

To a poor unpublished author, a blog becomes an outlet for pent up frustration so that I will not go out and buy the assault rifle that I sometimes wish I owned.

Up-side 1: Not all sociopaths carry out attacks on their fellow humans.

A personal philosophy that has yet to be disproved goes like this: 33.3% of the world’s population are genuinely good people with good hearts. 33.3 percent of the population are evil malevolent creatures and the remaining 33.3% can waffle from one side to the other on any given day.

Up-side 2: Therefore we can extrapolate that there must be days when almost FOUR BILLION people on Earth are doing good things for their fellow man and the planet.

Place a new-born baby in the hands of the most case-hardened worldly-wise man and you will see the inspiration for “How the Grinch Stole Christmas”. His heart will grow ten sizes in that moment as he gazes at the little creature that is totally innocent- a blank slate and free of evil that subconsciously engages his protective instincts. Not to be sexist, if it we substitute out man for woman in the above, chances are that subconsciously she will find her nurturing side bubbling to the surface.

Upside 3: Almost all humans, regardless of the hand that life has dealt them, are capable of having their soul touched by innocence, goodness and joy as we naturally covet these attributes.

On the subject of the more politically correctly named “Holiday Season”, in the G8 countries at least; Christmas carols and old holiday season songs are infectious- playing on the human desire for peace, joy and our yearning for simpler times. People smile a little more easily and they are a little nicer to strangers despite the hustle and bustle of crass consumerism and the plethora of social obligations. I was hoping to report that crime rates fell as a result of “good cheer” however the statistics indicate that there is a huge increase in alcohol consumption that netted an over-all increase in the crime rate.

Upside 4: For a week or so each year people are generally nicer to each other, even though it appears to be alcohol induced niceness.

In a world filled with stupidity, waste and evil, there are continual stories of “random acts of kindness” that are a very human trait the world over. Humans have the capacity for sympathy and empathy that when taken to extremes, can manifest into tremendous acts of bravery and sacrifice. There are countless stories, especially in conflicts, where someone laid down their life to save another. The person that made the sacrifice did so in the belief that the person they were saving was indeed worthy of their sacrifice.

Upside 5: The person saved feels a huge burden of responsibility to the one that sacrificed him or herself. They feel that they must live a good life from that point forward in an effort to be worthy of that sacrifice in order to honor the one who saw something worth saving- even if the saved individual could not see it in him or herself at the time. Better humans are created through “random acts of kindness” whether they witness a supreme sacrifice or a minor one.

Love: We all want it. Few can hang on to it. Those without it are jealous and envious of those who flaunt having it. Young love is rarely more than a hormonal overdose. {The following are excerpts from my book Ms. Creant: The Wrong Doers!} DOPAMINE is the love hormone. Just seeing the one you think you love will cause its production. It is interesting that its production naturally sags after approximately two years with the same person. If you want to “Bring back that loving feeling…” boost intake of vitamin B6 and magnesium. PEA- (Phenylethylamine) has been nick-named the “Molecule of Love” and the “Love Drug”. Found in chocolate and your brain, this organic compound creates the stirrings of sexual excitement including that rise in heart rate that we all have felt. Studies indicate that the onset of DEPRESSION may be due to decreased concentrations of PEA.

Upside 6: When I see an old couple holding hands on a bench after living a lifetime of hardships together, it proves the existence of true love. It is more than companionship. It is loyalty, trust, mutual respect and a sparkle in their eyes when they look at one another that is eternal. SOUL MATES ARE REAL.

Artistic types are typically more damaged, flakier, more anti-social and more oblivious but they can also be more talented and more cerebral than the average human.

Upside 7: If there is any part of humanity that could warrant our continued existence, it is our capacity to appreciate and create beauty. Film, photography, paintings, sculptures, theatre, music and literature occasionally capture or help us to envision the stunning and wondrous.

“Pay it forward” or “one good turn deserves another” are proven concepts that may define humans. We all live in a hell of our own making but when we stop feeling sorry for ourselves just long enough to smile or hold a door open for another, we prove that we do not belong in such a place; and that we are capable and worthy of existing on a higher level.

Hope leads to belief;

Belief leads to optimism;

Optimism leads to learning;

Learning leads to wisdom;

Wisdom leads to growth;

Growth leads to increased hope.

IT IS A CIRCLE!

My book:

Ms. Creant: The Wrong Doers!

Life with Women: the long awaited instruction manual.

talks of relationships, health, life, biology, philosophy, sociology, theology, genetics- even physics as well as how THERE MAY BE HOPE FOR THE AUTHOR AFTER ALL.

Wow, I feel cleansed.

Not really.

Have a hope filled week.

E.A.